


Toss a Penny in the Fountain

by pinkstarpirate



Series: Toss a Penny [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Polyamory, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 59,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4759907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkstarpirate/pseuds/pinkstarpirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin has always been the type of person to push forward blindly as hard as he possibly can.  This is the story of how he winds up sharing an apartment and a bedroom with Sousuke in Tokyo, but that is only the tip of the iceberg.  Makoto lives in the apartment a few doors down, Haru has a weird girlfriend, Rin tries to convince Makoto to rejoin competitive swimming, Rin has no clue what to major in, Sousuke and Makoto are strangely close friends, and Rin is so damn confused by both of them.  Rin wishes he could just dive into the water and let the rest sort itself out.  If only wishes were that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I'm not sure specifically how this little threesome will come together, I really do see it ending in a poly relationship between Sousuke, Rin, and Makoto. This fic started as a SouRin writing warm-up, but then my brain demanded that Makoto be in it, and then my indecisive nature slotted it right into my favorite thing ever in fanfics-polyamory. So are you willing to come on this crazy ride with me? I promise to make it interesting.

Rin made his decision sometime yesterday. It wasn't an easy decision, and honestly, Rin still isn't sure it is the right one. Rin had texted Sousuke to tell him to meet Rin online tomorrow at seven for a video call. Sousuke had texted him back saying he was looking forward to it.

That was yesterday, even though it feels like weeks ago, and now it is today, and the call is connecting. At first, the image skips and there is still some lag, but eventually the internet connection solidifies and there he is. Sousuke tries to hide his happiness behind a bored expression, but even a somewhat unreliable internet connection and small laptop screens can't erase how pleased Sousuke is to see Rin.

Out of the view of his laptop's webcam, Rin wrings his fingers together, trying to work out the nervous energy. Sousuke currently lives with his parents and works at his father's store, just like he said he was going to at the end of high school. Rin hates it. It isn't a life worthy of his best friend. It definitely isn't what Sousuke deserves. After all of his sacrifice, Sousuke is a person who should get the entire world laid at his feet.

“So, how is the shoulder feeling?” Rin begins. He always opens with that. He always checks to make sure there is still progress being made in Sousuke's physical therapy, because he desperately wants to swim with Sousuke again. The only way that will happen is if Sousuke puts in the time and effort to continue healing.

Sousuke had surgery right after their graduation, and his progress was going well so far. Rin had been upset he couldn't stay in Japan at the time of the surgery. He didn't like the idea of Sousuke going through all of that alone, but Rin's Australian coach gave him a start date he had to adhere to in order to receive his international scholarship and placement at a local University. So Sousuke and Rin kept in touch via Skype and texts. Even when Sousuke was still groggy and recovering, they held chats almost every evening.

Sousuke smirks, and Rin can tell that he has good news. He points at his shoulder and rotates it slowly. “I was in the water this week,” and Sousuke pulls the sleeve of his t-shirt up to show Rin. “It felt good.”

Rin lets out a sharp bark of a laugh, “They finally gave you the okay?” He feels so pleased to hear this.

Rin watches as Sousuke's fingers run along the small scar that bisects where his upper shoulder and his chest met. It is a tiny thing, because sports medicine has come a long way in the last few years, but that raised welt of scarred tissue still upsets Rin more than he cares to admit.

Sousuke grumbles and shrugs. “I'm not fully released yet. I'm still on semi-light duty. No butterfly for another week or two, but I have permission to help Nitori out with the team when I have time, and it feels good to be in the water.”

Rin tries to calm himself again, his fingers practically pulling into knots in his lap. “I'm glad to hear that,” he says, trying not to let his nerves show. Rin knows Sousuke probably won't take his decision well, but he wants to present it in the most positive light he can.

Sousuke can read Rin like a book. There is a moment of lag, worse than the normal lag they experience on Skype calls between their respective countries, and when Sousuke glitches back onto the screen, he is sitting with his brow raised in a skeptical look. “Okay. Now what is this about?” he asks, and waits for Rin's answer.

Rin takes a deep breath. Sure, he's nervous, but he is determined to see this through, because his mind is definitely made up. He isn't turning back now. He looks into the camera and says. “I'm coming back to Japan this year. I'm going to train in Tokyo.”

Sousuke's image doesn't react right away, and Rin knows it is the lag. Then he sees Sousuke's face change from a curious expression into a scowl.

“No you're not,” Sousuke says, irritation evident in his voice. “Australia has been great for you. Your times have gotten so much better. You competed in FINA and made finals for fucks sake. You really going to throw that away?”

“I want...” Rin tries, but Sousuke beats him to the statement

“You want to swim in a relay. I know, I know,” Sousuke says, almost mockingly.

“And relays train in Tokyo,” Rin argues, trying not to let Sousuke work his way under his skin too much. Sousuke knows how to push Rin's buttons just like Rin knows how to push Sousuke's.

Sousuke doesn't say another word, he just pulls his sleeve back down and crosses his arms in order to give Rin a very disapproving look.

“Don't do that,” Rin tells his friend. Sousuke can be so damn annoying when he wants to be. Sousuke doesn't listen. He doesn't budge. “Stop that,” Rin says, voice flat but also clearly pissed.

Fine, if Sousuke is going to be like that, then it is time to reveal the whole plan. “I'm going to attend the University Makoto is at...”

“Tachibana?” Sousuke asks, and Rin doesn't miss how Sousuke rolls his eyes ever so slightly. “Don't tell me this has to do with Nanase too?”

Rin really is getting aggravated. “No, it doesn't, asshole. It has to do with Makoto's school being the best school that offered me a full transfer scholarship. I don't want to put a financial burden on my mom. She's...” _struggling_ , is the word that Rin leaves unsaid.

He knows his mother is worried about how to pay for Gou's college, so Rin is going to make damn sure to cover his own training and education. Even with scholarships, Australia was far from a free ride, and the lack of money was one more thing that helped Rin decide to come home.

“You could get a full scholarship anywhere, Rin. You made the finals of the 200m butterfly last year at FINA. Any university or college would be stupid to turn you away.”

“Well, Mikoshiba is there too, and both he and Makoto tell me what a great program they have, so of course I'm going there. Just be happy I didn't choose Haru's school. I know that would have really pissed you off.”

Rin makes sure there is no room for argument. He isn't going to let Sousuke change his mind. This is _Rin's_ dream, and he isn't making these decisions recklessly. Rin suffered through many sleepless nights, followed by many discussions with his Australian coaching team, and in the end this was the best option.

“I think we might have had to stop being friends if you had joined Nanase,” Sousuke says, and Rin pauses for a minute as he realizes Sousuke is joking with him. Rin can tell Sousuke is still mad, but at least it isn't all backlash and anger.

“Okay,” Rin starts, and steels himself to say the last part of his plan. Everything that has come before this wasn't even what Rin had been worried about. He looks right at Sousuke, who is already grouchy and frustrated, but Rin can also see some relief, some happiness that might be there, and it gives him enough encouragement to continue. “We have three and a half months, so you are going to have to get your ass in gear if you want to pass the entrance exams. Makoto said they were tough as hell.”

Rin waits out the lag again, and he can see the exact moment Sousuke hears what he proposed. Sousuke's brows scrunch together and his face crinkles into a confused expression. “Entrance exams, hell no,” he says. “I'm done with school. I'm working at my dad's...”

It is Rin's turn to interrupt, “Your dad would be happy to pay for college if you went. You know he would.”

Sousuke grits his teeth. “But I don't want to.”

Sousuke was never really good or bad at school. When Sousuke actually studied, his grades placed him toward the top quarter of the class, not at the near-top like Rin, but near enough that it wasn't something he struggled with. Rin knows school isn't something that Sousuke necessarily enjoys, but at the same time it isn't something he hates either.

“Well, I need you to,” Rin says, like those words will end this argument. “And I need you to find us an apartment too. I'll be in Sydney until the week before the transfer, because of my finals schedule. Don't pick us a shitty place. I have the number of the University's housing office, and you'll need to talk to them.”

“I said no,” Sousuke tries again, but Rin notices how weak his protest is. It is a good sign.

Rin leans in close to the webcam, and he notices how he takes up most of the screen on his Skype-preview square. “You and I are going to do this, Sousuke. You are going to take the entrance exam, get accepted, get us an apartment, do a walk-on tryout, and we are going to swim together. You promised you'd try.”

There is silence for the duration of the lag, and then Rin hears Sousuke make a small choked sound, and he covers it almost immediately with a cough. Rin also notices how Sousuke's face has softened. “Rin...I don't know...”

“No excuses.”

Rin has carefully monitored Sousuke's shoulder, and he knows that if the physical therapists are starting to let him swim this much again, he will probably be cleared soon. Sousuke just has to be careful with his body. Rin will never let his friend overdo it again, but Rin is determined to be on the international stage and have Haru on one side of him and Sousuke on the other.

\---------------------

Usually, Rin loves to fly. There is just something about world travel from one continent to another that gets him so excited. Today, though, everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. Traffic makes him late getting to the airport, and then Rin manages to misplace his passport, finally finding it tucked inside a book he had brought to read on the plane. The plane is overbooked, and because he boards at the very end, the seat he originally selected is somehow taken. At least Rin is lucky enough to not be bumped to a later flight, but the new seat they put him in is between an overweight business man and a mother with a crying baby. Rin is the furthest from an aisle or a window that he could be, in the very middle of the middle of the plane. Then, the plane is stuck on the runway for nearly two hours, and the baby next to him cries almost half of the nearly ten hour flight to Tokyo.

Rin is so grateful when he walks down the passenger boarding bridge and through the terminal gate, that he doesn't even see Sousuke waiting there for him. In fact, he almost walks right by him.

“You look a little harried,” Sousuke says, and Rin freezes and turns toward his best friend's voice. “Yo,” Sousuke adds, extending his hand toward Rin, already pulled into a tight fist.

Rin can't believe how relieved he is to see Sousuke, he reaches out his own hand and gives him a quick fistbump, before pulling Sousuke into a brief hug. “It is so good to see you!” Rin exclaims, trying to squash the overexcited warm feeling that seems to blossom through every inch of his body.

Surprisingly, not letting the embarrassing gesture get to him, Sousuke returns the hug and says into the crown of Rin's hair, “It is really good to see you too.” Then Sousuke steps back, and before Rin can stop him, Sousuke's hand is in Rin's hair, mussing it completely. Rin swats at him, and Sousuke responds by giving Rin the most sincere smile and pulling him in for an even quicker second hug, though this one is more roughhousing than hug.

“Let's go find my luggage,” Rin says, exhaustion creeping back into his voice. He wants nothing more than to go back to whatever apartment Sousuke has arranged for them, and sleep for about nine years.

Sousuke gives Rin a quizzical look, and then asks, “That good of a flight, eh?”

Rin kind of wants to punch Sousuke for reminding him. He just glares at his friend and says, “The worst.”

“Then let's get you _home_ ,” Sousuke says, and there is such an ease that comes with the word. Rin didn't realize until that moment just how much he'd missed Japan, or how much he'd missed Sousuke, hell, how much he'd missed _home_. Perhaps it is more about how his home and Sousuke's home would again be one and the same, or that their paths in life were set to parallel one another after a long separation.

Rin chats with Sousuke about their program while they wait at the luggage carousel. Rin asks a lot of questions, which he knows Sousuke isn't very fond of, but Rin missed him and is curious. Rin pries more details about the walk-on trials that Sousuke went through last week, despite already hearing most of it from Sousuke. Rin also discussed it with Makoto and Seijuro before leaving Australia, and they filled in the parts that Sousuke had held back.

Both Makoto and Sei said Sousuke showed a lot of promise, but his times were somewhat slow, and his form was rusty. The coach had still been impressed though, and gave Sousuke a reserve spot. This meant Sousuke was able to practice with the team and could possibly challenge for a spot later in the season. Honestly, Rin didn't think there was a better position for Sousuke to be in, seeing as it gave him access to the team and facilities without a lot of the pressure.

When the last bag they are waiting on comes into view, Sousuke grabs it. Rin winces when Sousuke hauls it up and props it over his injured shoulder. Rin must look worried, because Sousuke just waves him off. “It's fine. See?” as he lifts the bag a few inches and puts it back down. “I can pick up bags and everything. My physical therapist would be disappointed if I couldn't.”

Rin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Of course Sousuke can pick up and handle bags. Hell, he could even do that pre-surgery, but not without visible discomfort. Now, there is no wince or half-pained expression on Sousuke's face. Rin tries to keep his elation at a minimum, but it is just so damn good to see Sousuke able to function normally again.

“I still have to be careful,” Sousuke says as they start to walk to the taxi pick-up area. “But trust me a little, okay?”

Rin nods, not really meeting Sousuke's eyes. Even back in high school, Sousuke had to warn Rin off of mothering him too much about the shoulder. But Rin hadn't noticed the initial injury, and by way of guilt, or a new found hyper-awareness in regards to Sousuke's shoulder, Rin always felt responsible for guarding his friend and making sure he got better. That is why Rin had been so vigilant in keeping track of Sousuke's progress post-surgery in Australia. Hell, it is why Rin took an introductory sports medicine class back in his Australian university.

When the two of them step outside, Rin looks at the line of people waiting for a taxi, and he groans. “We can't take a bus or train?”

“With all your shit? When everyone is getting off of work?” Sousuke asks, glaring at his friend.

Rin wonders how much of it really has to do with the busy time of day, and how much of it has to do with Sousuke's lack of direction and ability to get lost anywhere. However, Rin has no familiarity with the area yet, and he'd be just as lost as Sousuke, so he allows the extravagance of taking a taxi to their new apartment. He just isn't looking forward to paying the bill.

It takes almost thirty minutes of waiting to get to the top of the taxi queue, and almost another forty minutes driving through heavy traffic to get to their apartment. Rin goes to pay, but Sousuke waves him off, handing the driver enough bills to cover the fare. They unload the bags, and then Sousuke takes them up a set of outdoor stairs to the second floor of a quiet building. He unlocks the door and says, “Welcome home.”

Rin walks inside, and it isn't huge, but it is so much better than the tiny dorm room Rin had shared with a roommate for the last year in Australia. Here, there is a kitchen, a small living room, two bedrooms off to the side, and a tiny modern bathroom. Everything is clean. The living room has a regular table and a couple of chairs, but there is also a kotatsu in the center with textbooks scattered on the top of it. There is even a plush chair shoved in a corner near a television and a bookshelf.

Sousuke scratches the back of his neck, and mutters, “I know you hate clutter, so I tried not to put too much in here. I hope you like it.”

Rin punches Sousuke in the arm lightly and smiles at him. “This is great,” he says, and Rin means it.

Living in a dorm in high school with Sousuke had been so much easier than living in a dorm in Australia. His Australian roommate, James, had also been a swimmer, but not as serious as Rin, and throughout the year Rin found him becoming less and less compatible with the Aussie. By the end, Rin was always complaining about the odd hours James kept, or the friends that seemed to drop by whenever they wanted, and the messes Rin always seemed to clean up, even if they weren't his. There was just a lack of respect, and it annoyed Rin. The one thing that Rin knows, is that he and Sousuke are compatible roommates.

Rin steps into one of the bedrooms, but there is already stuff in it. It is tiny, so much so that the bed barely fits. Rin is surprised when he heads into the second bedroom, obviously the one meant for him, and finds that it is over double the size.

Rin steps out of the room and gives Sousuke a quizzical look. “What the heck?” he says, motioning at Sousuke's room. He still can't believe that closet of a room is where Sousuke chose to stay.

Sousuke shrugs, looking sheepishly at his own bedroom. “It's meant to be a study. The college said that two bedroom apartments were hard to get with the matching program as underclassmen. But I...” and Sousuke let's the words trail off and ends with another shrug. Rin almost says something, but Sousuke finally continues, “The location is really close to campus and I thought living together would be good, you know me and my sense of direction. Also, it's your fault I'm here.”

Rin only responds to Sousuke's blame with a glare. _My_   _fault_ , Rin thinks, _that's rich_.

Rin looks into his room again, and then back into Sousuke's, and then an idea hits him. “Well,” he begins, hoping that Sousuke likes it, “It can stay a study.”

Sousuke sighs, “What they heck do you mean? Are you kicking me out? Technically the apartment is in my name.”

Rin waves a hand dismissively at Sousuke, shushing him. “No, no, what I mean is that it can be the study, we can move the desk from my room into it, and then move your bed into my bedroom. That way we have a living room, a quiet room, and a bedroom. Your bed will fit into the bedroom just fine if we take out the desk. Or do you prefer the privacy of your broom closet?”

Sousuke actually looks a little shocked, but then he considers the idea. He steps into his room and appraises it, and then into Rin's room. Rin sees him making mental calculations, before stepping back into the living room. “Are you sure this is a good idea? I think one dresser can go between the beds, and maybe one in the corner against a bed, but there really isn't much room for anything else in there if we put both beds inside. We'd have to share a closet too.

“Would it be too much of a bother?” Rin asks, but then looks into the study. “There isn't even a closet in here. What the heck, Sou? There is no way I'm letting you live in that shitty little room.”

Sousuke shrugs, “I was going to suggest playing a round of Janken for it, but I always lose, so I just resigned myself to the fate of having that room. I suppose sharing a bedroom wouldn't be all that terrible.”

Rin lifts an eyebrow, and Sousuke leans against the wall, sighing his defeat. Rin knows that Sousuke usually lets him have his way.

“I had a decent room all to myself this last year at home. I might have a few new bad habits,” Sousuke says with a sigh, and the resignation in it let's Rin know that he has won.

“I'm sure it'll be fine,” Rin says with a smirk.

Sousuke shrugs. “I don't know, after three years of dorm life with a roommate, it was a joy being able to jack off before going to sleep if I wanted to.”

Rin makes a face and rolls his eyes, “Well, disruption of your masturbation schedule aside, I think this is the best idea. Help me move the desk and bed.”

Sousuke reaches up and rubs his formerly injured shoulder absently, “I don't know,” he says, “That looks pretty heavy.”

Rin walks right over to Sousuke in order to herd him into the bedroom. “Stop lying, you asshole. I'm not falling for that bullshit. You're just being lazy.”

It takes a couple of hours to move all the furniture, move Sousuke's stuff to the shared bedroom, and to unpack Rin's stuff. By the end of it, Rin is so exhausted that he crumples onto his bed and almost falls asleep right there. Though classes don't start for a week, Rin and Sousuke do have practice with their new team in the morning. Rin should take a shower, or at least put on some actual sleepwear, but the mattress is really comfortable.

Rin vaguely recognizes the sound of a doorbell, but he is too tired to do anything about it. Sousuke, who is in the living room, must have answered it though, because Rin looks up to see someone standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

 _Oh god_ , Rin thinks, realizing who it is. And somehow, beyond all logic, the person standing there might be taller than Sousuke.

“Makoto?” Rin asks sleepily, pulling himself into a sitting position at the edge of the bed.

“I'm so sorry to have disturbed you. But I wanted to come over and bring you this,” and Makoto holds out a small plant in a lovely red pot. “You know, to say welcome to Tokyo.”

Rin reaches for the plant, and he notices the mild scent. Oh, Rin realizes, it's a mint plant. “Thanks, Makoto,” Rin says, standing and walking the little plant out to the kotatsu and setting it in the middle.

“Mint is a scent that invigorates the mind,” Makoto says, pleased that his gift was accepted and given a prime place in the apartment. “Or at least that is what the lady said who sold it to me.” Makoto tips his head to the side in that embarrassed way he does sometimes, and Rin smiles at how familiar it is. “Anyway, I just thought I'd bring that down. If you need anything, just let me know. I'm actually in the apartment three doors down on the left,” and Makoto points and motions toward the direction of his apartment.

Rin's head snaps up at that, “What? You are in this building too?”

Sousuke steps past Rin with a tray, and Rin sees there are three cups of tea on it, and it smells nice, perhaps chamomile. After setting the tray on the kotatsu Sousuke points at Makoto. “He suggested it when I was apartment hunting.”

Oh, Rin thinks. Of course that makes sense. Rin wondered why he hadn't gotten more bitchy texts from Sousuke during the whole process. Sousuke hates stuff like that, because he isn't fond of making big decisions by himself, and Rin had been sure apartment hunting would get Sousuke very, very lost, despite Sousuke having lived in Tokyo for two years.

Sousuke picks up one of the mugs and gently pushes it into Rin's hands. “You look tired, you should drink this and go to bed.”

Rin tries not to glare, because the gesture is nice, but he can't help the slight snark in his reply, “Yes, mom.”

Sousuke, not missing a beat, says in mock-seriousness, “Do I need to come tuck you in and kiss you goodnight?”

Rin doesn't even dignify Sousuke with a response. He just sips at his mug of tea and glares at Sousuke. The only thing that disrupts their odd little standoff is the sound of Makoto softly laughing, shyly hiding it behind his hand.

“I've missed you, Rin,” Makoto says, his eyes crinkling in that happy way of his. Rin notices how Makoto is standing next to Sousuke, holding his own mug of tea, and holy crap, Makoto really is taller.

Rin can tell his staring is starting to make Makoto uncomfortable. Makoto turns his head and looks over his shoulder, trying to figure out what Rin is looking at.

Rin gives his giant friend a look of disbelief. “Haru wasn't lying, you had another growth spurt.”

Makoto finally realizes that must be why Rin is looking at him so intently, because he stops looking around, and stares intently down at his tea instead. Rin watches as a deep blush settles onto Makoto's cheeks, before Rin's friend whines a soft, “Rin, don't make fun.”

The expression pulls at Rin's heart, because he feels like he just kicked a puppy. He didn't mean to upset Makoto, that was not his intention at all. “I'm not making fun, Makoto. It's impressive.”

Makoto just shakes his head, blushing deeper. “I just...” he starts, and is unable to look at Rin or Sousuke. “People stare. It's uncomfortable.”

Makoto has always had the ability to draw people to him, and make friends, so Rin often forgets how self-conscious and shy his friend can be. Rin, not the kind of person to be anything better than awkward while consoling someone, steps over to Makoto and puts a hand on his arm. “Makoto, seriously, it...it looks good on you.”

Rin finishes the statement, only to realize how ridiculous he sounds. It isn't even his imagination, because Sousuke gives Rin a look that clearly says, _what the hell?_ Makoto glances at Rin very briefly, and then returns to staring at his tea.

So what does Rin do? Obviously, he ignores the first foot already in his mouth, and tries to shove the other one in too. “I mean,” Rin chuckles nervously, “Girls love that kind of thing, right? And...trains?”

And trains? Where was Rin even going with that? Luckily, Makoto seems to understand Rin's gibberish.

“It is easier reach the handholds on trains, I suppose,” Makoto says, “But I think I intimidate girls.”

Who the hell would find Makoto intimidating? One look at the guy, and anyone should be able to tell what a freaking marshmallow he is. Rin sighs, he supposes that girls would rather go for the cool, aloof type. Perhaps that's why...

“Is Haru still dating that weird chick?” Rin asks, not even trying to hide his feelings on the matter.

Makoto shrugs, and takes a sip of his tea, still not bringing his eyes up to meet Rin's or Sousuke's. “I think he is. He really doesn't talk about her much, but Midori-kun was at his apartment when I stopped by last week.”

Rin doesn't miss the way Makoto says this with no small amount of sadness, and perhaps also a bit of regret. Well, Rin thinks, that is interesting to say the least.

Makoto adds, finally looking up, “And you shouldn't call her weird, Rin. She's a nice girl.”

Rin doesn't even try to hide his amused snort. “Oh, she's weird, Makoto. She is very _weird_. Like I always thought Haru was a bit off, but she...she is another kind of case altogether.”

Rin sees Sousuke try and hide his laugh by picking the third mug of tea off of the kotatsu and taking a sip. Sousuke knows very well Rin's feelings about Haru's tree-hugger girlfriend. The few times Rin convinced Haru to actually get on Skype and talk to him, she had been there, and she hadn't been pleasant to Rin. It wasn't even the environmental activism part of it, because hell, Rin agreed with much of the things she said about how people were destroying the Earth and wasting resources. The thing that immediately made him leery of her was her possessiveness of Haru, and how she mentioned trying to, “Make my dear Haruka stop adhering to the societal pressures of competition and sport...” aka she tried to make Haru stop swimming, and that made Rin seethe.

Makoto also told Rin once via Skype that she mentioned to him how she didn't feel comfortable with how co-dependent Makoto was with Haruka. And yeah, Makoto and Haru did have a really intense bond, but Makoto was by no means dependent on Haruka. Makoto had decided on his dream to attend college in Tokyo, and set forth toward it all on his own, even keeping it from Haru until that night they had their first fight in high school. Makoto is a caregiver by heart, and yes, he did need Haru, but the same way that Rin needs Sousuke, or Rin needs Haru and Makoto. It is called friendship. You should love the people you surround yourself with. Isn't that normal?

Rin decides he is too tired to bring all his gripes with Haru's girlfriend to light, so instead he just mutters, “Well, I don't like her. And I don't have to like her.”

Makoto, instead of chastising Rin further, says, “That's fair. I don't like her either.”

Oh-ho-ho, now _this_ is interesting. Rin perks up, and looks expectantly toward Makoto, hoping he'll elaborate. But Makoto must have realized what he said, because he waves his free hand, making a placating gesture. “I mean...I don't have to like her. I'm not dating her, Haru is. And Haru has gotten very passionate about the water parts of environmental activism, so it's a good thing, right?”

Rin's answer is a firm, yet simple, “No.”

As if Haru needed to be more passionate, or more bizarre, where water is concerned. That is about the last thing he needs.

It is Sousuke who finally ends the current topic of conversation, “I'm tired and all of us have to be at practice in the morning, so time for bed.”

Rin cocks his head to the side, looking over at Sousuke. Rin had definitely heard that, especially the _all of us_ part. “Makoto,” he asks, trying to keep his excitement in check, “Are you swimming again?”

Makoto looks confused for moment, but then shakes his head. “No, no, Rin. The university made some budget cuts for this upcoming year, and they are short on coaching staff. They offered a couple of the trainer positions to students in the teaching program, and I took one of them. I really enjoyed helping with the team periodically last year, so I thought being an official part of the team would be nice.”

Rin goes from hopeful to agitated in the span of a few seconds. He has tried to convince Makoto to get back into competitive swimming since high school ended. Most of their Skype conversations about Makoto helping with the team always ended with Makoto mentioning how much he misses it, of being part of a team. And sure, Rin understands that Makoto has always been somewhat leery of competition, but Rin has a sneaking suspicion that Makoto doesn't dislike competition itself, but rather, he doesn't like losing. Makoto has never been the type of person to easily accept his own personal failings. He probably feels guilty about it or something.

“You're going to swim,” Rin mutters.

Which Makoto replies, he uses his stern voice, usually reserved for Haru or Nagisa, “No, Rin, I'm not. I like coaching.”

Rin is about to continue arguing when Sousuke stops him. Sousuke is visibly irritated when he steps between Rin and Makoto. He takes Rin's half-finished tea, and says, “You are tired and grumpy and we have practice in the morning. Go to bed, Rin.”

“Tch.” It is all Rin can manage, because Sousuke is right. Rin must be exhausted if he is picking fights with Makoto, who is usually the one level-headed person in their friend group who Rin can find solace in when everyone else is driving him nuts. Rin looks over to Makoto, who is still visibly ruffled, and murmurs a, “Sorry, Makoto. Sousuke's right, I'm completely drained.”

Makoto softens instantly, and he even looks a little guilty. “No apologies needed, Rin. I just...” and he lets the words trail off. He looks up at Rin and says, “We'll talk about it later.”

“Sure,” Rin says, and walks with Makoto toward the genkan.

Makoto sits and puts on his shoes, and as he stands to leave, he motions at Rin to come closer. Sousuke is cleaning up, so it is only Rin who hears the thing Makoto practically whispers. “I'm so glad that you managed to convince Sousuke-kun to come. And...” Makoto pauses and gives Rin his sweetest smile, “I'm really glad you are here too, Rin.”

Rin has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the intense swell of emotions down, because this has been anything but easy. Giving up Australia was possibly the hardest thing he has ever had to do, and Rin still worries it might be the mistake that destroys his career. However, having someone encouraging like Makoto so close, and having Sousuke here with him too, it just makes it seem right.

“I'm glad I'm here too, Makoto.”

Makoto opens the door, and with one last wave goodnight, he slips out.

When Rin returns to the living room, Sousuke already has the tea mugs washed, dried, and put away. He picks up the textbooks on the kotatsu and stacks them in a neat pile, which is when Rin realizes they are there. “Why in the heck are you pouring over those already?”

Sousuke shrugs, “A couple of my professors sent out the reading assignments early. I was bored.”

Bullshit. Rin knows Sousuke better than that. First, if Sousuke is bored he tends to sleep or read fitness magazines. Second, Sousuke never does all of the assigned reading. He is a serial skimmer, and he always waits until the last minute to do it. Finally, Sousuke usually took his studying cues from Rin. If Rin studied, then Sousuke studied. If Rin goofed off, then Sousuke goofed off.

Sousuke looks at Rin and sighs, because Rin isn't doing anything to hide his skepticism of Sousuke's explanation. “Makoto told me that these classes are difficult.”

“Makoto? I thought you were going for a general degree. You change and decide to do the coaching track too?”

Sousuke doesn't say anything, just nods before picking his books up and taking them into the study. Rin wonders exactly how much Makoto has been talking to Sousuke in the last few months. First the apartment, and now Sousuke's degree track. Rin hadn't realized they had become anything more than acquaintances, but it is nice to find out that your friends have become friends.

Sousuke shuts the study door and heads to their bedroom. He strips off his shirt and climbs into bed. It doesn't seem like he's in the mood for more chatting, but honestly, Rin is too tired for that anyway. They can discuss this tomorrow on their way to practice. Rin comes into the room, pulls off his own shirt and his pants and kicks them towards a laundry basket, turns off the light, and gets into bed. Sousuke is on the other bed, lying on his side facing Rin, his eyes shut. Rin crawls into bed and lies on the his side facing Sousuke. Rin realizes this sleeping arrangement might be a deal more awkward than when they had bunkbeds back at Samezuka. Sousuke's eyes open, he watches Rin for a few seconds, and then he has the audacity to smirk.

“Go to sleep, you jerk, and stop making this weird,” Rin says with a laugh. “All I can think about is how I'm ruining your jerk-off schedule.”

“You're the one who wanted to share the bigger bedroom,” Sousuke says and turns over, choosing to sleep on his back instead.

Rin also rolls on his back to sleep, even though he prefers lying on his side, and part of him wants to keep watching Sousuke, if only to remind him that he is really here. Just like earlier, emotion swells, and Rin's vision goes a little hazy with unshed tears.

Rin is so happy to be in Tokyo with Sousuke, and Makoto, and even Haru; but leaving Australia, and the life and relationships he built there, doesn't seem to be as easy as he had hoped. He misses the dorm, and the loud raucous bunch of athletes who roomed on his floor. He misses the ability to go and visit Lori and Russel on the weekends. He misses hearing everyone talking in English. He misses the culture. He misses the oddity and beauty of Australia itself.

Rin wants to sleep, but when the first tear falls, it is like the dam he had been so careful to erect just crumbles. Rin wipes at his eyes and curses himself for being such a damned crybaby, but this is just so _much_ —too much, too fast. There is a feeling settling into the pit of Rin's stomach. It feels like the floor has dropped out from beneath him, and Rin is falling fast and hard through the dark nothingness. What if he doesn't even get on a relay? What if his times don't continue to improve? What if they get worse? Rin was so close to achieving his dream, and somehow he decides that uprooting himself is the right answer?

Barely any of his credits from his Australian university will transfer, and though he had been considering doing a pre-med degree in Australia, that isn't really on the table now, especially with how much time he will have to dedicate to swimming. It would have worked back in Australia, but medical programs aren't structured quite the same in Japan. Rin tries to force the tears to stop, now more frustrated than sad, because Rin never really stops to think about anything. He just pushes forward as fast and as hard as he can, consequences be damned. It has always been that way with him.

When Rin hears Sousuke shifting in the other bed, Rin turns onto his side, choosing to face away from Sousuke, hoping that he'd been crying quietly enough to not alert his friend. But that is just hopeful wishing, because Rin has never been a quiet crier.

“Rin?” Sousuke whispers, but Rin can still hear the worry in it.

Rin can't even find the composure to reassure Sousuke that he is okay, he is just having one of his short-lived freakouts. He'll be fine in a bit, so just let him be pathetic and cry himself to sleep.

Rin kind of wants to scream when he hears Sousuke get out of his bed and walk toward Rin's. He doesn't want Sousuke's comfort right now, because he knows he is being irrational, and even if he isn't, it's not like Rin can do anything about it now since the choices are made.

Sousuke puts a hand on Rin's shoulder, and he squeezes gently. “You okay?”

Rin still doesn't trust his voice, so he shrugs, and hopes that Sousuke can see it in the low light. There is a small nightlight by the dresser, but it isn't much.

Sousuke doesn't say anything else, but his hand lingers on Rin, moving slightly so that Sousuke's thumb works soothing circles into a tense muscle just above Rin's left shoulder blade. Rin knows this should feel awkward, but he relaxes under Sousuke's touch. The hurt and confusion continues to spill out, tears running steadily down Rin's face, but it feels safe with Sousuke lending him a bit of strength.

When Rin's tears finally slow, Sousuke releases him and gets the tissue box from the dresser. He offers one to Rin. Rin blows his nose, and then gives the tissue a disdainful look, because they are the box from Sousuke moved from his room. “Please tell me these aren't your nightly wank tissues.”

Sousuke bites back a laugh. “It's not like I stick my dick in the box.”

Sousuke has the gall to be disgusted when Rin throws his snotty tissue at him. “That's gross, Rin,” he scolds, before picking the used tissue up and tossing it in the trash can. He heads back toward his bed, but turns back and asks, “Are you feeling better now?”

“I think so,” Rin says as he flips around so that he is facing Sousuke. He is a bit embarrassed because Rin is positive that his face is blotchy and tear-stained. It isn't like Sousuke hasn't seen him cry before, but Rin knows how much it bothers Sousuke to see it.

“Want to talk about it?” Sousuke asks.

“Not really,” Rin replies, voice quiet, and even in the dimly lit room he can see Sousuke's brows knit together in worry. “I'm fine, just a bit overwhelmed I guess.”

“Okay,” Sousuke says skeptically, but he doesn't push it. Neither one of them are very good at talking about their feelings.

Sousuke crawls back into his bed, but doesn't roll onto his back. This time he stays on his side facing Rin. Rin watches as Sousuke's lips turn up into a small, soft smile, just for him. Rin can't explain the happiness that he feels at seeing his friend's reassuring gesture, but he smiles back. “Goodnight, Sousuke.”

“Goodnight, Rin.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first, I want to promise that I did not intend to create Haruka a girlfriend just so everyone can hate her. I don't like to create OCs that have no purpose, so I promise that she isn't that weird (well, no weirder that Haru), and she pushes Haru's plot forward. She has a really great role to play, so don't think she is just in this for Rin, Makoto, or you to hate.
> 
> I also plan on flushing out the rest of the Free! gang, because Tokyo is a big city, and a lot of the gang ending up in or around there. I hope you like what I have so far. This is the loosest planned multi-chapter fic I have done in a long, long time. In fact, I haven't really done a multi-chapter fic in forever, because I'm afraid of ruining them. Well, no more fear. I know I just have to put it out there and do it.


	2. It Starts With Sousuke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I only got through about half of the things that I wanted to in this chapter. That is why it is lacking on the MakoRin development, because it is in the next part. However, this felt like a really good place to end the chapter (or a really evil place, I'll leave that up to you to decide which). 
> 
> You can find my writing tumblr over at pspwrites.tumblr.com or my art over at pinkstarpirate.tumblr.com if you prefer that. Please come into my inbox and talk to me about Free! I love chatting about my headcanons or fave pairings and everything in-between. :D Conversations are always welcome.

Rin wakes to the sound of Sousuke's alarm clock buzzing. Sousuke tries to hit snooze by blindly swatting at the noise with one large, meaty hand. Rin has always been an early riser, and he sits up and stretches with a quiet yawn. He watches as Sousuke unsuccessfully slaps at the clock two more times, and then Rin, afraid for the poor alarm clock's longevity, takes mercy on it and shuts it off for Sousuke. Sousuke immediately sinks back into his bed now that the hell-clock is silent.

“Get up,” Rin tells his roommate, but Sousuke just grumbles something unintelligible to him, rolls away from Rin, and tries to bury himself in his blankets.

“Get up,” Rin insists again, and this time he kicks Sousuke lightly in the back with his heel. Though Rin does miss the semi-privacy of their bunk beds, he does like having Sousuke on this level for their daily battles with waking up. It is much easier to drag the lazy lout out of bed if he isn't eight feet in the air surrounded by bars that are made to keep people from falling out.

“Five more minutes,” Sousuke pleads, trying to cocoon himself more securely in the bedding.

Sousuke would sleep until noon if Rin let him. Normally, Rin has no patience for Sousuke's morning antics, but after everything the oaf did the last few weeks, Rin supposes he can let Sousuke sleep at least until after Rin is finished showering.

“Five minutes,” Rin tells Sousuke, and kicks him in the butt for good measure.

Last night they put what toiletries they had away in the bathroom, so Rin rummages around until he finds a towel. There is shampoo and soap in the shower stall already. There isn't a bathtub in the bathroom, only a moderately-sized square shower in the corner with a semi-transparent glass door. If Rin wants a soak, he'll have to do it in the whirlpool at the athletic complex, or ask Haru if he can borrow his tub.

Next to the shower is the toilet, and across from both is a little sink and a mirror. Rin takes a nice long piss, strips, and then hops in and tries to adjust the shower's temperature to something that won't freeze his balls off or give him second degree burns. Rin is surprised when the door opens a few moments later and Sousuke shuffles in. Rin can kind of see him through the shower door, but it is opaque enough that he can't make out details. Rin can only see the shape of Sousuke, but he hears his friend start his morning piss.

“Good morning,” Rin says, positioning himself under the water spray now that he has found a temperature he likes.

Sousuke makes a sound that is half grunt, half zombie groan, and without thinking, flushes the toilet.

The water pressure dies a little, and Rin knows what is coming. He slams his hand up on the spout, trying to push it to the side before the water changes from tepid to scalding. “Sousuke!” Rin shouts, “God-dammit!”

Rin gets out of the way of the water's stream, and presses his body against the opposite side of the shower than where the water is aimed, but it still splashes off the other shower wall enough for Rin to need to cover his more sensitive areas. After a few seconds it returns to the original temperature, but Rin is still grumbling to himself when he hears Sousuke ask, “You okay?”

“Yes, you asshole, I'm okay. You can't flush the toilet like that in an apartment,” Rin explains, knowing that Sousuke, being an only child who always had his own bathroom, has probably never had someone flush the toilet when he was in the shower.

Rin remembers back to his family's old apartment, the one Rin's family had lived in when his dad was still alive. The bathroom was a bit different, because the shower was actually in a little separate room, which was nice since you could use the shower and the toilet at the same time. However, his family never did, because of situations just like this. If you flushed the toilet, and the shower's water would instantly go hot. Sure, he and Gou might have tortured each other with it a bit when they were young, but for the most part, his family respected each other enough not to try and scald each other to death.

Rin sees Sousuke step toward the shower, and the closer he comes, the more details Rin can make out through the frosted glass door. Rin realizes Sousuke can probably make him out too. “Hey, a little privacy?” Rin asks as he turns his back to the door and dips his head under the spray of water.

“I'm not peeking at your naughty bits,” Sousuke says, voice gruff with the sounds of sleep. “Are you seriously okay? I didn't know...”

“Yes, really. I'm fine, now get out,” Rin says, not really irritated about the water thing, but still flustered enough to be angry. He isn't really sure what has him so worked up, to be honest.

Rin hears the click of the bathroom door and then reaches for the shampoo bottle on the ledge. It's Sousuke's, because Rin hasn't had time to shop for his own. He pops the lid and squeezes a dollop of it into his palm. As he works it in into his hair, Rin realizes it smells like Sousuke—the muted scent of spicy earth and subtle apple. He rinses it out of his hair, and then reaches for the body wash. It is a green-tea soap, with just a touch of mint, and Rin really likes it. It too, smells like Sousuke. Maybe Rin will put off his trip to buy toiletries and just give Sousuke some money so they can share.

Rin stares at the bottle for a few more seconds, realizing he hasn't even squeezed any of it out yet. He is just standing there sniffing it. He is smelling the stuff, he knows, because it is so distinctly Sousuke's scent, and Rin has missed that. Fuck. Rin squeezes some out onto a cloth and lathers himself up. After he rinses himself clean, Rin vows to go buy his own damn bodywash and shampoo as soon as possible. Sharing, he decides, is not an option.

Rin gets out and dries off. He wraps a towel around his waist and walks to the bedroom. Sousuke is in the kitchen, and Rin hears a kettle whistle, and smells the mouth-watering scents of Sousuke's cooking. Rin has always been partial to Sousuke's cooking. Perhaps it isn't technically as good as Haru's, but Sousuke does have a repertoire that exceeds Haru's _217 Ways to Cook Mackerel_.

When Rin returns from their bedroom fully dressed in athletic wear, Sousuke hands him a plate and a couple of bowls, and then serves himself as well. The two of them sit at the table in silence as they eat, and Rin is as impressed as ever with Sousuke's culinary talents. All of it tastes great, even the mixed greens, and he smirks across the table at his friend, who still looks like a half-alive zombie.

“You said you liked half-caf coffee in the morning,” Sousuke murmurs and points at Rin's coffee cup.

Rin flushes, because he really shouldn't be drinking it. He is so strict with his diet, but Australia got him hooked on the stuff. Rin has been trying to break himself of his coffee habit, because eliminating all caffeine would be a good move. But hey, that is a goal for later. He takes a sip and it is delicious.

There is a knock on the door, and Rin figures it must be Makoto. He lets Sousuke sit and sleepily push food around his plate, and Rin goes to welcome their guest.

When Rin opens the door, he is greeted by Makoto's warm smile. “I have the rice!” Makoto calls into the apartment, and passes off a bowl to Rin while he takes off his shoes.

Rin pulls out three smaller bowls from the cupboard and divvies out the rice equally. He walks them to the table and gives one to Sousuke and one to Makoto, and then he goes to grab the dishes of food Sousuke had left on the counter and also serves those to Makoto.

“Itadakimasu,” Makoto says happily as he picks up his chopsticks and digs in.

Rin can see the moment when Makoto practically melts. Makoto makes a rather obscene sounding, “Mmmm,” which makes both Sousuke and Rin chuckle. Makoto blushes and swallows his bite before saying, “My compliments to the chef. Also, you have no idea how happy I am that this isn't instant food or mackerel.”

“The miso soup is instant,” Sousuke says, then shoves another bite of food into his mouth, chews it like it is a damned chore, and swallows. “And I don't mind cooking, if you don't mind pitching in some food.”

Makoto practically beams when Sousuke suggests this, and if Rin is honest, his own expression is probably just as elated. Rin can cook, but it isn't something he enjoys. Sousuke genuinely likes to do it, and apparently it also gets his lazy ass out of bed and moving in the morning.

“Group breakfast it is,” Rin says, and steals one of Sousuke's sausages, since he is eating so freaking slow.

Sousuke doesn't even realize it is gone at first, until he goes to eat it. He looks around and finds Rin chewing happily on the stolen piece of food and gives him a disapproving look. “What a way to show your gratitude,” he says, and steals some of Rin's food back in return.

Rin finishes his miso soup and his rice. Then, he clears his dishes off the table, and takes them to the sink to rinse. Makoto, despite coming five minutes after Sousuke and Rin began eating, brings his plates next. Finally, Sousuke, still not really functioning, or even resembling anything remotely awake, dumps his dishes in the sink and goes to get dressed, because he is still wearing the sweatpants he slept in the night before.

“Are you showering?” Rin asks, talking loud enough so that Sousuke can hear him from the living room.

Sousuke doesn't answer right away, but rather comes out in his jacket and track pants. He still looks so damned irritated to be among the living. “I'm not like you,” he says, shoving a change of clothes into his gymbag, “I don't have to shower obsessively. I'll do it after practice.”

Makoto laughs a little, and makes a placating gesture at Rin, who had automatically bristled at the slight. Makoto reminds him that they don't really have time to argue about such things.

Makoto takes a place next to Rin at the sink. He picks up a dishtowel, and dries the clean dishes as Rin hands them to him. Sousuke, a person that adheres to the rule that if you cook, you don't clean, lets Rin and Makoto finish the dishes as he puts on his shoes.

Rin hurries after cleaning up breakfast to also gather his gym bag, which isn't hard since he had one ready and mostly packed inside his luggage. Rin is organized in this way, at least. If only he could think ahead with his big life choices and plan those out like he does the smaller, daily things. If Rin did that, life might not be as chaotic or stressful.

Makoto and Sousuke are ready to go and wait for him by the door. Both of them are patient as Rin pulls on a well-worn pair of sneakers and ties the laces carefully in a complicated way that lends more support to his foot's arch type. It is a trick James had shown him the first few weeks they roomed together. The memory makes Rin pause, because it also reminds him of the runs he took on the beach with James and some of his other Australian teammates. Rin remembers laughing and wanting to kill them all when they dumped him in the too-cold ocean that April when he first arrived, but then they jumped in too. For a moment, Rin swears he can taste the ocean.

Makoto puts a hand on his shoulder and startles Rin out of his thoughts. “Rin, are you okay?” Makoto asks, not able to hide the worried expression on his face.

Rin's voice makes some half-croaking sound as he replies quietly, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

It isn't until Rin sees Makoto's confused look that Rin realizes he responded in English.

\--------------------

The athletic complex is only a block away from their university's main campus. There is a bus they can take to the complex, but it is just as easy to run there from the apartment. It is a beautiful April morning, and the route they take has a lot of landscaping; including, much to Rin's delight, quite a few sakura trees. Some are smaller, and obviously planted in the last few years, but there are also old, established trees. Those trees are burdened with thousands of pink and white blossoms, and they are beginning to bloom.

Rin is surprised when Sousuke doesn't mock him for running the entire route with a stupid smile plastered on his face. Rin really loves sakura trees. They remind him about everything good in his childhood, but also so many good times from high school too—like when the Iwatobi gang filled their pool with the petals just for Rin, or the time Rin returned the favor and practically ruined Samezuka's indoor pool.

 _For the Team_ , Rin thinks, and for a moment, in his mind, he can see all of his friends smiling and happy—Makoto, Rei, Nagisa, Momo, Ai, and even Haru and Sousuke. Cherry blossoms represent the times when Rin was the happiest, and he cherishes that.

Sousuke, who stayed blessedly quiet for most of the run, can't help but laugh when they finally reach the complex. “How did I become friends with such a romantic fool?”

Rin, determined to not let Sousuke's teasing get to him, responds, “And how did I end up friends with such a sour old man?”

Makoto, amused by their banter follows them, smiling and laughing as Sousuke and Rin take a few more digs at each other. When they get to the main entrance, Makoto stops them.

“Wait just a minute,” he says, and reaches toward Rin's face. Rin flinches a little, not sure what Makoto is doing, but then Makoto pulls gently on a strand of Rin's hair and comes away with a little blossom in his hand. “I hope they all fall just in time for the college's opening ceremony,” he says as he hands the blossom to Rin.

Rin stands a little shocked, not knowing why picking cherry blossom petals out of his hair has this kind of effect on him, but he thanks Makoto and shoves it in his pocket. Rin probably should have just dropped it on the ground, but in his pocket it goes.

He looks up again to see Sousuke giving Makoto an odd look. Neither Sousuke, nor Makoto, say anything to each other, but they are definitely having some kind of strange, silent communication.

Rin is about to open the doors when Sousuke also reaches down and pulls a petal from Rin's hair. Sousuke, unlike Makoto, just drops the blossom onto the ground, and the breeze picks it up and whisks it away.

Rin is about to tell them to stop preening him like monkeys do to each other at the zoo, when Makoto gives Rin a gentle smile and tells him, “Sorry RinRin, you're covered in them.”

Makoto tends to only use that nickname when he wants to tease Rin, and holy hell Rin's face is burning with embarrassment now, so he reaches up and picks blossoms out of Makoto's and Sousuke's hair too. “Yeah, yeah, we all have them,” and then, not able to get his irritation under control, Rin stomps through the front doors and bumps right into someone.

Today just keeps getting better and better, Rin thinks, turning to apologize to whomever he ran into, but it seems like the person was actually waiting just for him.

“Matsuoka!” a booming voice fills the building entryway, and several people turn toward them.

Rin groans, Seijuro never did learn how to properly use his inside voice. But as if that isn't enough, as Mikoshibas are wont to do, Seijuro wraps his arms around Rin and crushes him in a hug so tight that Rin can barely breathe.

The first thing Rin sees when Sei puts him down, and his vision returns to normal, is Sousuke glaring at both of them. Sousuke, despite actually liking Momo and Sei, doesn't always tolerate them well. Especially if they are in a particularly Mikoshiba-ish mood; and today, Seijuro definitely is. It is hard to be mad at him though, because a Mikoshiba's brand of joy is highly contagious.

Rin also notices how Makoto's shy kindness compliments Seijuro's brash happiness. Sei slaps Makoto on the back and says, “Good job on getting these two here, Tachibana. Couldn't have done it without you.”

Okay, yes, Seijuro did have a part to play in Rin's decision to come, and so did Makoto, but for Rin it is honestly more about the possibility of being on a relay and...

 _Sousuke_ positions himself next to Rin, slotting himself so close that Sousuke's hip gently bumps into Rin's hip. It is a good, solid feeling having Sousuke to lean on. Rin didn't realize he needed someone to lend him that kind of strength today, but Sousuke has always been perceptive like that.

Seijuro claps Sousuke on the shoulder, and even though Sousuke doesn't flinch at all, Rin does, because it is _that_ shoulder. “Good to have you here too, Yamazaki. With both you and Matsuoka, our team is looking to be quite the contender for our inter-collegiate meets this year.

Sousuke's face shifts from the stony resolute expression to one of slight confusion. Perhaps, if Rin squints, there might be a hint of embarrassment from the compliment. Sousuke clears his throat and says, “I'm just a reserve, Mikoshiba-san,” and Rin can hear how it kills Sousuke to not end any saying of the name “Mikoshiba” with “that little shit.”

Seijuro, being Seijuro, just dismisses Sousuke's self-depreciating comment, and loudly tells his new teammate, “Well, you're a reserve for now, but I have my eye on you. Once we get you back into top form, I have no doubt you'll help me destroy the competition.”

Seijuro and Sousuke talk, and while the two of them are distracted, Rin looks around and realizes that Makoto has wandered off. Rin looks through the group of swimmers milling around, some are already stripped to their jammers and stretching near the pool, some are still in their track suits and talking to each other. Rin finally spots Makoto standing by an older, somewhat intimidating looking man. Makoto sees Rin watching and waves him over.

“Rin!” he says excitedly, “I'd like to introduce you to the head coach. This is our coach, Oda-sensei."

Rin, feeling a bit overwhelmed, has to stop himself from extending a hand in western greeting, and instead lowers himself into a polite bow to his new coach. “I'm pleased to be on your team, sir.”

“Matsuoka, it's good to have you,” Oda replies, a very slight smirk on his lips. “I hope you are ready to do your best, because I'm not going to go easy on you. I've been talking with your old coaching team, and they tell me you are a hard worker. “

“I will do my best, sir,” Rin says, and the coach gives him a nod and dismisses him. Coach Oda pulls Makoto and several other men aside, most likely coaches and trainers, and starts going over an itinerary.

Rin walks back to Seijuro and Sousuke, and he realizes how fast and hard his heart is beating. Rin isn't sure if it is from excitement, nerves, or some mix of the two. As soon as Rin rejoins them, Sei pulls them into the locker room and gives them a mini tour. He lets Rin know that practice is fairly lax until about five minutes before start time, and then he tells Sousuke and Rin to be sure not to step out of line. Coach Oda is strict, and there will definitely be some kind of retribution if they manage to end up on the Coach's bad side. If coach is really pissed at someone, they get both extra training and cleaning duty, which is a special hell all on its own.

Sousuke is a pure first-year, so Seijuro warns that he'll probably have certain extra duties anyway, and Rin, being a transfer, will probably also have to put in some time doing that too. Rin is glad he won't receive special treatment. He wants to prove himself worthy of the team, and despite making FINA finals, he doesn't want to be put on a pedestal that might cause a rift between himself and his new teammates.

As it gets closer to start-time, more people come into the locker room to change, or to put their bags into lockers. A few introduce themselves to Rin and Sousuke. Seijuro is obviously a leader here, just like he was at Samezuka. As a third year, a lot of the guys try to jockey for a bit of their precious Mikoshiba-senpai's time. However, today it is clear that Seijuro is sticking with Rin. Perhaps this is because Sei knows how Rin isn't particularly fond of establishing himself in new places.

Though Rin isn't really shy in the same way Makoto is, Rin does have problems fitting in. Rin knows he comes across as a bit of an asshole at first, and his competitive nature is off-putting to some, so making new friends is something he struggles with. It was the same when he first approached Seijuro to join the Samezuka team, but thankfully Sei saw right through all of Rin's bluster.

Sousuke leans in and whispers in Rin's ear, “Are you ready for this?”

And honestly, Rin isn't sure. As much being in Japan feels like the right decision, he misses the calm atmosphere his Australian team cultivated. It wasn't necessarily laid back, per se, but Rin is already aware of how different this program is. He could talk to his coach in Australia about anything, and he wonders if this coach will be the same? Rin's Australian coach was as much a mentor and friend as he was a coach, and Rin worries that role won't be filled in Japan.

“Warm-ups in five,” someone shouts into the locker room, and everyone gets suddenly serious, even Seijuro puts on his game face, stripping to just his jammers and heading to the pool. While walking past Rin, he motions very subtly for Rin to follow, and even gives Rin and Sousuke an encouraging wink, but leaves them to catch up.

There is an unease in Rin's stomach that doesn't go away until he lines himself up on the starting block and waits for a coaches whistle to cue him into the pool. When Rin hits the water, at the perfect angle and speed, his nerves and worries are stripped from him, and he does what he does best—swim.

\--------------------

Rin, used to the torture of a hard practice, still has a bit of energy to spare after the coaches finish taking times and pushing the team through the drills of the day. Rin peels off his jammers and rinses the chlorine off under a steady stream of hot water. The shower feels nice, and Rin is positive he made a good impression. Sousuke did too.

Sousuke didn't complain at all when the coaches pulled him out of the water to check his shoulder. Sousuke's physical therapist sent enough letters that there was no argument over adapting Sousuke's practice routine. However, they didn't let Sousuke off easy. Sousuke did twice as much land training as the rest of the team, and Sousuke isn't really all that fond of running or other forms of cardio other than swimming, though he does them without complaint. Rin knows he needs it though, because Sousuke is under the shower head next to Rin's, and he looks like he is dying.

“They wear you out?” Rin asks nudging a bottle of citrus bodywash into Sousuke's hand.

“I have seen hell,” Sousuke mumbles, and leans forward until his forehead is leaning on the tiled wall.

Rin has no sympathy for him. “That's why I said you should start doing more cardio back in February. Your endurance is shit. College is a whole different level, Sou. And if you want a spot on the national team—and trust me, you do—then it's going to be even tougher than this.”

Rin looks over at Sousuke when he doesn't get a response, and sees Sousuke's eyes have drifted shut. He thinks Sousuke might have fallen asleep standing up, leaning against the shower wall.

But Sousuke finally musters a reply, “This is all your fault, Rin.”

“And when we are competing together at the Olympics in a few years, it'll still be my fault, but you'll thank me,” Rin says, not at all hiding his cocky as hell nature. He pats Sousuke's back and steps out of the shower. Sousuke just stays under the spray, eyes closed, looking completely defeated. Rin feels for him, he does, but it's part of the process, and Sousuke has to get through it.

Rin is busy rubbing an orange citrus lotion into his skin, the same brand as the bodywash he used, when Sousuke finally comes out of the shower. There is a towel wrapped sloppily around Sousuke's hips, and he plops down on the bench next to Rin.

“Can we take the bus back to the apartment?” Sousuke asks, reaching for the lotion, which Rin immediately shares.

“Hell no,” Rin says, but then rethinks it when Sousuke gives him a _look_. It is the same kicked puppy look that Makoto is so damned good at, and Rin caves. “Well, maybe,” he says with an exasperated sigh.

Makoto, who is lingering by the entrance to the locker room, comes over and sits next to Sousuke. Makoto, as he often does (because Haru is right, Makoto likes to meddle), had been listening in on their conversation.

“Walking might be better, Sousuke, you know that. Also, did you talk to the coach about letting one of the therapists do some sports massage on you before you leave? They can show me what to do, and I can help you with it too. The looser we keep the area around your rotator cuff, the less likely you are to re-injure yourself.”

Sousuke nods. He isn't unfamiliar with massage, because that was a big part of his therapy at the beginning of his recovery. Rin even remembers Sousuke mentioning how flustered he had been with a cute therapist he had at first, but it quickly became normal. After a year of therapy, Sousuke is used to being poked, prodded, massaged, and whatever else his PT-team told him he needed.

“I'll come too,” Rin says, realizing that he can also probably learn how to do this.

As much as Rin takes pride in the fact that it is his fault Sousuke is here, Rin also realizes it is _seriously his fault Sousuke is here_ , so he should probably take some responsibility and assist Sousuke if he can. Sousuke might have been content to live an uneventful life in a small town, working for the company his dad owns, but Rin refuses to let that reality come to pass. And Rin does this, despite knowing how hard it will be on Sousuke to make a comeback, especially into an arena that is more competitive than high school, and more demanding on Sousuke's body as well. Does that make Rin a shitty friend?

Makoto waits for them to get dressed, and then leads them back to a shared area. There were all kinds of athletes here—runners, basketball players, tennis players, soccer players, etc. But Rin can see the one thing they have in common is they all have some kind of injury.

Sousuke follows Makoto into an office, and inside is a youngish man, probably somewhere in his late twenties, and he has Sousuke sit down on a bench and remove his shirt. The physical therapist looks over the injury, and rotates Sousuke's arm carefully to make sure none of the movements cause any pain. Then he motions Makoto to come closer and tells him that these massage techniques can be done over clothing, or on bare skin, and adding heat to the routine would also probably be beneficial. He recommends a ceramic heating pad and writes down the details on a sheet of paper.

Rin watches as the PT works the muscles of Sousuke's shoulder carefully, making sure to tell Makoto that the goal is the keep the muscle fibers stretched, so be very aware of any tightness or knots, as those have to be worked out as soon as possible. He mentions that some of this Sousuke can do as self-massage, but some has to be done by someone else, or with the aid of massage devices, which still aren't as good as another person doing it. Makoto reassures the trainer that he will definitely assist Sousuke whenever needed, seeing as they are neighbors and both on the team, and Makoto also mentions that Rin can help too.

“You're lucky to have such good friends, Yamazaki,” the trainer says, and then he writes down more instructions for Sousuke.

Sousuke looks over the list and nods, “Yeah, I had to do this back home too,” he says.

The PT makes it very clear that post-workout stretching and massage are paramount to keeping full mobility and flexibility within the shoulder, particularly the rotator cuff. He also lets them know this won't be easy to keep up with, but reminds Sousuke that slacking off will possibly result in re-injury.

The PT then lets Makoto and Rin both try out the massage techniques, and Rin bites back the urge to laugh when he sees how this makes Sousuke uncomfortable.

“It's weird having you two groping me,” he mumbles when Rin mimics the PT's smooth massage motions and runs his fingers down Sousuke's upper chest, shoulder, and arm.

His reaction is worse when Makoto practices though, because Makoto is so gentle that the PT has to urge him to use a slightly more firm motion. By the end of it, Sousuke is blushing and embarrassed as hell, something that doesn't happen often. However, the fact Makoto got such an extreme response out of Sousuke makes Rin feel uneasy for some reason. It doesn't feel like jealousy, because that would be stupid, but Rin wants Sousuke to be able to rely on him in the ways he didn't in high school. Rin wants to be the person who literally takes the burden off of Sousuke's shoulders. Sharing that with someone else seems a little like cheating.

But when Rin watches Makoto's gentle determination, trying to get it right for Sousuke's sake, it sort of makes Rin stupidly happy. Makoto's kind nature is such a blessing, and Rin could never find it in himself to be upset with his friend for helping Sousuke get better. Hell, Makoto obviously offered a lot of help to Sousuke in the last month while Rin was still in Australia, like the apartment and the advice about Sousuke's degree track.

“Okay, that looks good. I think you are in capable hands, Yamazaki. I'm going to let you guys get going. Come to me if there is any pain or swelling. You'll need me on your side if you want to convince Coach Oda to adjust your workouts.”

The three of them leave the office, and it is almost noon. Sousuke, a seemingly a bottomless pit where food is concerned, is the first to mention lunch. “I'm starving,” he says.

Makoto brightens instantly, because he has a suggestion. “I know this great restaurant near campus. A lot of the swim team eats there, because the owner gears the menu toward athletes. They have a healthy variation on pork cutlets, Sousuke. And Rin, they have a wood grill and make really good meat dishes. Personally, I love their curries.”

Rin smiles at Makoto, because it is nice to have a friend who remembers what his favorite foods are. Unlike Haru, who has no issue with feeding Rin mackerel on mackerel wrapped in mackerel. Not that Rin necessarily dislikes mackerel, but fish isn't his favorite, and he prefers shrimp or scallops if he has to eat seafood. Not to mention, mackerel can be so damn fishy smelling.

The three of them walk to the restaurant, and it isn't too far, though Sousuke has the audacity to ask, “Are we there yet?” like a small child. Sousuke is such a grump when he is tired and hungry.

Makoto does his best to keep Sousuke's mood up. When they arrive at the restaurant, Makoto and Rin fit into one side of a booth, while Sousuke is allowed to spread himself across the other side. A waitress takes their order, and Rin is really excited about the wood-grilled steak. It is a bit on the pricey side, but hell, Rin is here with friends. They all survived their first practice with the team, and that certainly deserves a little bit of celebration, doesn't it?

Makoto is right, because the beef practically melts in Rin's mouth. It is so good, and there is just enough smoke in the flavor to make Rin seriously debate ordering a second steak. Sousuke is also equally impressed with the food, because he usually prefers his meals to be as unhealthy as possible, but he also makes pleased sounds when he takes his first bite.

Makoto lets Rin try his curry, mostly because it is spicy, and Rin loves spicy things. It is very tasty, and more in the reasonably priced range, so Rin puts that information away for later when he needs a quick, halfway healthy meal. The sides are as amazing as the main dishes. Rin likes the asparagus, which is prepared on the wood grill. Makoto is fond of their variation on kuromame, though that is much too sweet for Rin. Sousuke gets corn, also prepared on their wood grill, and Rin steals some of it.

“Now we walk home,” Makoto says cheerfully. And even Rin questions his student-coach's judgment, since he feels so full he might burst.

“You are evil, Makoto,” Sousuke says, shoving the last bite of pork in his mouth.

“I second that. You look like an angel, but you are a damned demon,” Rin teases, and knocks his knee against Makoto's leg.

This is something Rin does to Sousuke all the time, but Makoto gives him a confused look, and then Makoto decides looking at his empty plate is far more interesting than looking at Rin or Sousuke. Rin knows he probably shouldn't, but he gently knocks his knee against Makoto's leg one more time, carefully monitoring Makoto's reaction. This time, Makoto keeps his eyes focused down on the plate, but he smiles ever so slightly, and he pushes his knee against Rin's leg in response, mimicking the motion. Rin gives Makoto the brightest smile he can, which Makoto graciously returns.

\--------------------

After they get home, Sousuke chooses to take a nap in the bedroom, so Rin sits in the living room and looks over his course schedule. He is mostly taking general studies this semester, with an emphasis in math and science. He has an advanced English course, but after a year speaking the language while being immersed in it, Rin feels confident it will be an easy subject to ace. Rin likes English well enough, but he has no desire to major in it. He pulls up his university's website and looks over some of the other degree tracks he can pick from. Even though general medicine won't work with his schedule, sports medicine or physical therapy might, or biology. Rin tries to imagine himself doing anything other than swimming professionally, but he can't. Is there anything he really wants to do other than swim?

Rin tries to imagine himself coaching like Makoto or Sousuke. Even though their styles are completely different, both Sousuke and Makoto have this gentle patience that Rin doesn't. One year of being captain of Samezuka was quite enough for him. It isn't that he disliked his time teaching his teammates, or running the team, but it isn't particularly a passion for him. That was a responsibility he did because it was handed to him, and it helped him grow and reach toward his dream, but it won't be a career for Rin like it will be for Makoto or Sousuke.

Rin wonders if Haru has finally settled on a major. He picks up his phone and texts his friend, realizing that he hasn't even let Haru know he is in town yet.

 _ **Rin:** Did you finally decide on a major?_  
  
The phone is silent for a few minutes, and Rin is positive that Haru will ignore this text like he does 90% of the others, but Rin hears a ping, letting him know he has a new message.

_**Haru:** Quantum Physics_

Rin is very confused, because Haru loathes science. It takes a minute for Rin to realize that Haru is joking, because Rin is almost positive Haru didn't own a sense of humor.

_**Rin:** Ha-fucking-ha, asshole. Quit joking around._

This time the answer comes more quickly.

_**Haru:** art, but I'm also taking a few classes in sports management_

Art, that's a shocker, Rin thinks

_**Rin:** What do you think I should major in?_

This time there is a long pause between Rin's text and Haru's reply.

_**Haru:** whatever makes you happy, Rin_

Rin stares at his phone for a long while. Not only because he doesn't know what makes him happy, but also because happiness is something Haru wants for him. Haru being considerate of others? This is new. Rin decides he'll have to ask Makoto about that later.

Rin's phone beeps again.

_**Haru:** did you make it back to Japan okay?_

_**Rin:** Yeah. The flight sucked, but I had practice this morning, and it went fairly well._

A few moments go by, but when Rin's phone beeps for the last time, Rin can barely bite back the sting of tears.

_**Haru:** Welcome home, Rin. I'm glad you are back._

\-----------------------

Rin sits at the table and reads the book he had intended for the plane. There is a creak that comes from the bedroom door as it opens, and Rin watches Sousuke come out, looking slightly more rested than earlier in the day. His sweatpants are slung low on his hips, and the tank he is wearing is a bit too tight on him, and it rides up around his stomach. It clings to Sousuke's chest in a way that Rin wishes his own clothes clung to him. It isn't fair how Sousuke has filled out so well, even better than he did in high school. Sousuke and his stupid perfect body, Rin thinks. The only thing to mar the perfect appearance is the scar on Sousuke's right shoulder. Feeling guilty, Rin looks away before Sousuke catches him staring at it.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Rin says, seeing Sousuke's extreme case of bedhead, and trying not to laugh at it.

Sousuke flops down in the plush chair across the room and grunts a reply. Rin thinks Sousuke might turn on the television, but he just sits and stares at the blank screen instead. Surprisingly, Rin has missed this—quiet moments that Rin doesn't have to try and fill with idle sound, because neither him nor Sousuke are ones for unnecessary chatter. James had been uncomfortable with silence, and if they were both in the dorm room at the same time, James always tried to talk to Rin. It probably wasn't bad to have someone who tried to force Rin to be social, since Rin tended to turn inward when in Australia, but sometimes Rin just wanted to tell James to shut up.

That is another thing Rin appreciates about Sousuke, because whenever they get on each others' nerves, neither of them has to hold back. Telling Sousuke to shut up, or to shove off for a bit, wasn't going to offend Sousuke, same if Sousuke was to say the same thing to Rin. Being close enough with someone to do that is a special kind of blessing.

“Supper?” Sousuke asks. And really, Rin wonders, does Sousuke do anything other than sleep and shove food in his face?

“What do you want?” Rin asks, not even knowing what the apartment is stocked with.

He supposes they could go out to eat again, but that isn't a habit that can last, since both Rin and Sousuke are on fairly tight budgets. When classes start, Rin's scholarship allows him to eat at least one meal on campus for free, but he has to cover the other two. Sousuke doesn't have any kind of scholarship, and relies completely on the money his parents send him, since swimming takes up too much time for him to be able to hold a part time job. Then again, Sousuke does have some savings from working at his dad's company too.

Rin's mother sends him a meager allowance, and he gets a small stipend payment that has to do with an insurance payout from his father's death. Rin supposes the real dream would be to do well enough in swimming to get a couple of product sponsorships. A lot of the pros on the Japan circuit do that, and Rin isn't stupid. He knows he is young and attractive, so landing a small ad campaign isn't that far of a stretch.

Rin has been lost in thought long enough that Sousuke wanders into the kitchen and digs around in the cabinets. He pulls out a few miscellaneous things, but then announces, “We really need to do some grocery shopping.”

As if that is a cue, someone rings the apartment buzzer, and Sousuke goes to answer it. Rin has a sneaking suspicion who it might be.

“Sousuke, I was wondering if you and Rin wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie. Haru is coming over. We want to get together before classes start and we get too busy.” Makoto says from the outdoor balcony.

Rin, overhearing this, peeks around the corner of the entryway, and asks the only actual important question, “Is Haru bringing his girlfriend?”

Makoto, sounding far too happy about it, says, “No. I think she is busy tonight. So it'll just be the four of us.”

Sousuke, who has made peace with Haru, but still isn't necessarily friends with Haru, takes a minute to think it over. “What movie?”

Makoto shrugs, “You guys can pick. I'm sure Haru will be bored with whatever.” Then Makoto makes a quick amendment, “Except nothing scary. I'm not fond of those movies.”

Rin leans against the entryway hall wall, and decides to tease his friend a little. “Well, I don't know about that. Sometimes watching a scary movie with Makoto can be more entertaining than watching the movie itself.”

“Riiiiin,” Makoto sighs, drawing Rin's name out into an exasperated whine. “Don't tease.”

“But you're so fun to tease,” Rin says, and gives Makoto a wink. This causes the tips of Makoto's ears to turn pink, and Makoto chooses to ignore Rin as he turns back to Sousuke.

“I picked up some mackerel for Haru at the store, but I also have ingredients for omurice. Rin watches as Makoto gives Sousuke a pleading look, and says, “You make the best omurice, Sousuke.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sousuke says dismissively, but Rin can see how his chest puffs at the compliment. “We'll be over in a bit. I'll dig through my movie collection and find something that'll piss off Nanase."

Surprisingly, Makoto doesn't chastise Sousuke for that, he just waves goodbye to both of them and heads back to his own apartment.

“So you've cooked omurice for Makoto? When did you do that?” Rin asks, curious as to how Makoto knows the particulars of Sousuke's culinary skills.

“A few weeks ago,” Sousuke says. “He let me stay with him for the duration of the swim team tryouts, and while I went through the apartment matching process for us. Cooking dinner was the least I could do to say thank you for all of his help, but I think I got him hooked on it,” and Sousuke only looks slightly put off by this.

Rin knows Sousuke likes being able to repay kindness with kindnesses of his own, but most people don't recognize his actions as such. Sousuke always seems to come off as abrasive and gruff, but Makoto being Makoto, must have recognized Sousuke's kindness right off. That, and Makoto's cooking skills are somewhere between “barely edible” and “mediocre” so Sousuke's cooking probably did seem like a real treat.

Sousuke steps back into the kitchen and makes a list before putting away the groceries he had pulled from the cupboards. “Tomorrow after practice we should go to the store. There is a little market about a block from here that isn't too expensive. They have pretty good cuts of meat too.”

That is the kind of thing Rin likes to hear. He maneuvers himself into the small galley kitchen with Sousuke and looks at Sousuke's list. “We should ask Makoto what meals he wants to share, and get him to pitch in some cash,” Rin points out. Sousuke nods and makes a few adjustments to his list.

“And cross off the coffee. I don't need to drink that,” Rin tells Sousuke.

Sousuke raises a brow at Rin, and says “You told me you like having coffee in the morning.”

Rin sighs, knowing that he should really tweak their menu too, not only for himself, but also for Sousuke. They both need to be stricter with what they eat if they want to be successful. Rin met with a nutritionist while he was in Australia, and he has several menu mock-ups designed for the young swimming Olympic hopeful. A lot of the food is more western based, but Sousuke likes learning recipes, and doesn't mind non-Japanese food. Sousuke isn't picky about that kind of thing like Haru is. Rin is pretty sure Makoto won't care at all what is on the menu as long as Rin and Sousuke share it with him.

“No coffee,” Rin says, “At least for now. I want to eliminate that from my diet.”

“I'm sure you'll kick my ass if I buy soda tomorrow, right?” Sousuke asks, and Rin only responds with a glare.

“No soda. No junk food. No crap at all. Your body is a temple, Sou,” and Rin decides to go hunt down the menus from the Australian nutritionist after all.

As Rin heads to the bedroom he can hear Sousuke mocking him. “No fun. No joy. No real reason for living,” and Rin comes back out of the bedroom to chuck a shoe at Sousuke's head.

“Quit making messes,” Sousuke says, picking up the shoe, which had missed him by a mile, and brings it to Rin. Rin is sitting on his bed with few things he pulled from a drawer in his dresser. Sousuke sits next to him, so close that Sousuke's arm bumps up against Rin's arm.

Rin knows exactly where his printout is, and he finds it in one of the file folders with other information he received from his Australian team. He hands the list to Sousuke.

“Here,” Rin says, pointing at the mock meal plans. “I need you to do this.”

“Do I look like a restaurant?” Sousuke asks, not at all hiding the exasperation in his voice. He makes a low whistling sound, “Okay, this won't be cheap either. There is a ton of protein on here. Also, this is a lot of prep. You are going to have to help me.”

Rin agrees, because he isn't completely inept in a kitchen. Then, Rin leans toward Sousuke enough that his side presses flush against his friend. Sousuke lets him, not seeming to mind that Rin is propped against his body. Rin realizes he is a bit tired, and since Sousuke hasn't minded so far, Rin tips his head and lays it against Sousuke's shoulder. It is the one with the scar, the one that makes Rin wince even when Sousuke doesn't.

Sousuke doesn't mind physical affection, if it is in private. Rin knows this, because they spent a lot of their last year of high school sprawled on his bottom bunk together, legs bumping or sort of twined together, or Rin using Sousuke's thigh as a pillow. Or sometimes they both sat on the floor, playing video games wrapped up in each other in one weird way or another.

Rin stays leaning against Sousuke like that for a few seconds, but then Sousuke shifts. Rin thinks he probably pushed it too far, because yeah, sitting like this is kind of strange. However, Sousuke moves them in a way so that Rin's head now leaning on Sousuke's chest, and Sousuke's arm is draped over Rin's shoulders.

Rin tenses, because this is...fuck, what is this? Sousuke must be feeling the same thing, because when Rin glances up at him, Sousuke can't look directly at Rin, and he is blushing. Oh god, Rin thinks, his face also burning with embarrassment, Sousuke is blushing and he never blushes. Sousuke isn't the kind of guy to get embarrassed about stuff.

Apparently, this does embarrass him, and even Rin has to admit, this isn't normal for them. People don't do this kind of thing with their best friend, and yeah, he should probably pull away, but if Rin is being honest, he doesn't want to. He forces himself to relax, and to breathe, because he really isn't doing that either. During Rin's first deep breathe—in through the nose, out through the mouth—Rin realizes that Sousuke smells like chlorine and citrus lotion, but also slightly musky, a dark Earthy scent that is very Sousuke. Rin notices this is just like the bodywash sniffing incident this morning. Friends shouldn't smell friends.

The arm Sousuke wraps around Rin hooks across Rin's back and is anchors itself on Rin's opposite arm. Sousuke gives it a tentative squeeze, and then he rubs small circles into Rin's bicep with his thumb. And shit, it feels nice. This all feels very, very nice. They should definitely stop. They really should, but like so many things with Sousuke, Rin gives in, consequences be damned. Still tired, and now confused, Rin just lets them stay like that rather than fighting it. Rin even turns his face so that he presses himself even more securely against Sousuke's side, Rin's own arm slinking low across Sousuke's back.

Rin shouldn't say anything. He knows that he might break whatever strange spell they have found themselves under, but he can't help it. Rin murmurs, “This is nice,” so quietly, Rin is positive Sousuke won't hear it.

However, Sousuke does, and with a nod, Sousuke whispers, “It is.”

 


	3. What We Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try and finish some stuff for SouRin week, so this probably won't be updated until sometime next week (Sept. 23rd-ish).

It is so damn hard to breathe after Sousuke says, “It is.”

What is Rin supposed to do with that? Is he supposed to be happy? Is it supposed to feel awkward? Rin digs deep into himself, trying to gauge his own reaction, but his mind seems to be undeniably empty of thought at the moment. But also, his heart feels unusually light. The only thing weighing Rin down is literally Sousuke's arm draped across his shoulders.

Rin stops trying to reason it out, because he knows some things don't have easy explanations. Instead, he lets his eyes drift shut, and he relaxes into the embrace. Sousuke's thumb still moves softly over the skin of Rin's bicep, absently marking little circles and lines.

Rin lets out a soft huff of a laugh against Sousuke's chest, his face resting in the crook of Sousuke's chest and arm. “Shouldn't I be the one massaging you?” he asks.

Sousuke doesn't find that quite as amusing as Rin. He doesn't laugh, and Rin can practically hear Sousuke roll his eyes at Rin. “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, “You can feel me up again later.”

“You do have nice boobs,” Rin jokes, however, it isn't even all that much of a joke. Sousuke does have a nice chest. Hell, he has a nice everything. Rin realizes what he is thinking and immediately tries to stamp out his internal dialogue, because, _fuck_ , he is supposed to be untangling this knot he found himself tied in, not complicating it further.

Sousuke makes a sound that is half incredulous snort, and half confused laugh, and he asks, “I'm not hallucinating, am I? Did you just say I have nice boobs?”

Before Rin can stop himself, he reaches up and pats one of Sousuke's pecs with his free hand, the hand that isn't currently curled low on Sousuke's hip. “Nice and firm,” Rin teases.

And even though this is the kind of stuff they always do with each other, part of Rin is screaming for him to shut up. To stop feeling up Sousuke. To stop whatever he is doing, because he knows there is an invisible line with their joking, and Rin crossed that line a good five minutes ago when they settled into … _this._ And if Rin is being honest with himself, and he is trying very hard not to be right now, “ _this”_ is cuddling.

From across the room, on top of one of the dressers, a phone chimes with a text notification sound. Part of Rin wants to stay tangled up in Sousuke, but the reasonable part of Rin takes the out and gets up to retrieve his phone.

Rin's hand is shaking as he unlocks the screen and reads the text from Makoto.

 **Makoto** : _Haru-chan is here! (^v^)_

Rin takes a moment to type out a reply. He doesn't look up, but he can feel Sousuke's eyes on him, and he makes three typos writing out a simple reply. Rin fixes them and sends the text.

 **Rin** : _Okay. We'll be over in just a minute. Sou still needs to pick out a movie_

Rin's phone dings again right away.

 **Makoto** : _Please nothing scary, Rin. ( >.<)_

 **Rin** : _You're no fun. Where is your sense of adventure, Makoto?_

Rin's phone dings again, but this time it isn't Makoto. He pulls up the new message. By some act of the God's, Nanase Haruka has sent someone an unsolicited text. The world must be ending.

 **Haru** : _stop harassing Makoto and hurry up_

 **Rin** : _I'm just teasing him. Tell him I won't bring over anything scary. Promise._

After chatting with Haru and Makoto via text, Rin feels more centered. He doesn't feel like his whole world is tilting, like he had while wrapped up in Sousuke.

Rin glances up to see Sousuke is still on the bed and waiting patiently. He isn't smiling, per se, because the corners of his mouth are just barely turned up. However, Sousuke's eyes are much more telling. They are relaxed in a way that makes Sousuke look almost serene. Rin loves seeing Sousuke like this, because it is such a rarity; and then, Rin realizes that this look is directed right at him.

“Haru's here,” Rin tells Sousuke, trying to break whatever weird spell the two of them are under.

Sousuke nods, and Rin doesn't miss the momentary look of disappointment Sousuke gives Rin before he stands up and walks over to his dresser. Sousuke grabs a pair of dark-washed jeans and a decent button up shirt, and something tells Rin that this might have something to do with Haru. Sousuke always tries to one-up Haru at everything. He tries to know more than Haru. He tries to do more than Haru. And Rin is positive that showing up under-dressed in sweatpants and a tank would be handing Haru some kind of victory.

“This isn't a fancy dinner party,” Rin says, but Sousuke give him a shrug and ignores him.

Rin watches as Sousuke changes into the jeans, then pulls on the shirt over his tank top. Sousuke tucks in the shirt in, but leaves the uppermost buttons of the shirt open. He undoes the cuffs so he can roll the sleeves up to his forearms. Sousuke looks very put together. Well, except for the bedhead hair, which is still flat on one side, and sticking in all kinds of wayward directions everywhere else.

Sousuke heads to the bathroom. Rin tidies up the bedroom, turns off the light, and shuts the door. Sousuke left the bathroom door open, so Rin watches Sousuke from the living room. Sousuke runs a comb through his hair and messes with it until it is decently styled. Sousuke turns around and discovers his voyeur.

“You look good,” Rin says honestly, still unsure why Sousuke felt the need to get so gussied up. It is just Makoto and Haru. And other than pissing off Haru somehow, Rin isn't sure what Sousuke hopes to gain.

Sousuke seems rather pleased with Rin's compliment. He smiles at Rin and walks over to the small TV stand and opens a drawer. He shuffles through his movies until he finds something that he thinks will be suitable. He holds up the DVD and motions toward the door. “Alright, let's go,” he tells Rin.

Of course it isn't a long trip to Makoto's apartment, but it is the first time, Rin realizes, that he has ever been inside of it. Rin wonders if it is the same as his and Sousuke's, or if it is some other configuration. He presses the doorbell buzzer and waits for someone to answer.

A few seconds later, Rin hears Makoto saying from further inside the apartment, “I'm coming, just a moment,” and there is the sound of shuffling as Makoto hurries toward the door.

Rin waits, and after a few clicks as locks are unlocked, and the latch is unlatched, Makoto opens the door and gives his guests a familiar warm grin. “Welcome!” he says to Rin as he steps back and opens the door all the way. “Please make yourself at home.”

Rin comes inside and slips off his sandals, which seemed like the easiest footwear to put on when leaving the house. Why wear something more than that if you are only walking thirty feet down the outside balcony to a friend's place?

Rin waits in the entrance hallway for Sousuke, because Sousuke has to untie the rather fashionable looking shoes he wore. They are Sousuke's best pair, the ones he had to oil and polish to keep the leather from getting worn. It is quite the ensemble, if Rin is being honest. And Rin isn't the the only one to notice it either.

Rin watches as Makoto, after shutting the door, gives Sousuke a one-over. His eyes linger for a second before Makoto tells his friend, “You look nice, Sousuke, but you didn't have to get all dressed up for this.”

Rin notices the familiarity between them. For the longest time, Makoto always referred to Sousuke as Sousuke-kun in his conversations with Rin. Now, there is a comfortableness between them, and Rin seriously considers that the outfit might not have been picked solely to piss off Haru.

Rin's train of thought is interrupted as Haru comes and stands beside him. Haru aims an irksome glare at Sousuke, and to a lesser degree, Makoto. Haru and Sousuke have a tenuous friendship, but both of them constantly get on each others' nerves. They handle each other okay in short bursts, and only if one doesn't do anything to antagonize the other.

Before Haru can say anything that might piss off Sousuke, Rin decides to greet his favorite rival, because it has been far too long since they have seen one another, and Rin can't believe how excited he is to see Haru. Haru looks up and gives Rin a small nod of acknowledgment, but his eyes don't meet Rin's, and instead stares at a spot that is slightly beyond Rin's shoulder.

“Good to see you, you jerk,” and Rin pulls Haru into a tight hug, one that Haru makes no effort to return.

Haru only mumbles a quiet, “Let go,” to Rin, and Rin gives him one last squeeze before his arm takes up its normal residence, draped across Haru's shoulder. Rin drags him into the living room, and it is only then that Haru does add, “It's good to see you too.”

How does Rin gets so damn attached to people? Rin's chest aches as the last piece that was missing clicks back into place. Haru is the person Rin dragged into competitive swimming kicking and screaming, but now Haru is standing side by side with him, both of them accomplished in the international scene, and both of them showing well at FINA.

Rin almost chokes on his words when he tells Haru, “I've missed you.”

Haru looks slightly uncomfortable with Rin's display of emotions, but also happy. He gives Rin a nearly imperceptible nod and says, “You too.”

Rin glances over to Sousuke and Makoto, who have joined Rin and Haru in the living room, and he sees that Makoto is practically glowing with delight at the sight of his two friends' reunion, while Sousuke is glowering darkly and Rin and Haru.

Makoto also notices Sousuke's mood, and decides to usher him into the kitchen. This leaves Rin and Haru alone to catch up.

“After I get settled in a bit more,” Rin tells Haru, “We should get together and have a race.”

Per usual, Haru's passive expression does little to betray how he really feels, but there is a particular glint in Haru's eyes when Rin suggests the race.

“I suppose we could do that,” Haru says.

Rin gives Haru his very best shark-toothed grin, trying to intimidate him, even though that kind of thing never seems to works with Haru. “I'm going to kick your ass. I saw the times you put up back in February, and they are slooow.”

Haru just shrugs, not even remotely taking Rin's bait. Haru isn't stupid, he knows his times are good. “Hmm, I remember seeing your time too. A whole two hundredths of a second slower than mine,” he says, baiting his own hook for Rin. He waits to see if Rin will bite.

“Pshh,” Rin scoffs, “That meet was such crap, and I had jet lag since I had to come back to Japan for such a quick trip. I like the advantage of surprise, anyway. My actual times will blow you out of the water.”

Haru's expression changes from mildly bored, to ever-so-slightly amused. He even raises an eyebrow at Rin's boasting. “We'll see,” he says, and Rin thinks this is the most animated he has seen Haru since FINA last year.

Sounds of Sousuke prepping and starting to cook in the kitchen draws Haru's attention. His eyes narrow, and he makes way to the galley kitchen. Rin can see into it over the counter cutout, and it looks almost exactly like his own.

Haru promptly kicks Makoto out, and Makoto looks hurt at first, but honestly, it is probably best to leave the cooking to those who do it well. Rin laughs and walks over and puts a hand on Makoto's shoulder to console him.

“It is way too small for everyone,” Rin says, but Makoto still aims a pout at his kitchen. Well, it is his kitchen, Rin muses, he has reason to be a little offended.

“Yeah, but Sousuke was making me a list of ingredients I'm missing. I need to run to the convenience store and pick up a couple of things,” he says, giving Haru a sour look.

Haru doesn't notice, and he hipchecks Sousuke to make space to prep his Mackerel. Sousuke looks like he wants to take the frying pan in his hand and hit Haru over the head with it, but Sousuke just puts the pan on the unlit stove burner for later, and then takes his ingredients to another part of the counter to prep them.

The two cooks have seem to have found some kind of tenuous peace, so Makoto motions to Rin. “Want to come with me to the convenience store?” I need more eggs. Sousuke says I don't have enough for all of us. And ketchup. I think the convenience store carries it.”

“It does,” Sousuke calls from the kitchen. “I saw it in the back aisle when I was there last week.”

Makoto goes to put on his shoes. He looks up at Rin and asks again, “So, are you going to come?”

Rin isn't sure leaving Sousuke and Haru alone with one another is the best idea, but he supposes the two of them are going to have to learn to get along sometime. Though Rin is sure Makoto will continue to have one-on-one time with Haru, there is no doubt that Rin and Sousuke will be hanging around Makoto a lot more now. That means Haru and Sousuke will have to learn to tolerate each other, and Haru is going to have to deal with it, and Sousuke too for that matter. However, despite their tendency to get into minor arguments, Sousuke and Haru do have a lot in common, and Rin can tell they do have the potential to be close friends, if they'd just calm their weird rivalry.

Rin slips on his sandals and follows Makoto out the door. They make their way to the street, and Rin notices the sun is starting to set. The haze over Tokyo is beginning to turn that golden orange. The sounds of a sleepy spring evening are in the air, and it is a really beautiful night out. The neighborhood their apartment highrise is in is more houses than apartments, so it still feels a little more suburban than some parts of Tokyo.

Makoto makes a motion up the street, and Rin follows the gesture. “There is a really nice park up this road,” Makoto tells Rin. “I like to go for a morning run there sometimes. There are several ponds, one bigger lake, and lots of trees, and the neighborhood does a great job of taking care of it. One of the local high school's gardening club does some of the landscaping, and the city provides a modest beautification budget too.”

Rin listens as Makoto talks about his favorite running spot. Makoto also mentions he likes this park because it has two trails. One is flat, and is good if you need a couple of quick laps. The other has two hills that supposedly can even give an athlete like Rin a good workout. Makoto personally likes splitting his run between the two trails, and he begins with a flat lap, followed by two hills, and then he runs on the flat again until he feels he has done enough running.

“How often do you run?” Rin asks, curious how intense Makoto's workout schedule is.

“Almost every morning. I have two afternoons open from classes, and I use the athletic complex's weight room those days. I like to swim in the pool's open times most days after I finish my classes. When the semester begins, that will be after the swim team's practice is over.”

Rin perks up when he hears this. He is glad to know Makoto still swims. He also knows, this is a point of contention with him and Makoto, seeing as Rin desperately wants to get Makoto back into competition, because he really could be a threat in backstroke if he wanted to be.

“So, you _do_ still swim,” Rin says, hoping he isn't being too obvious.

“I do,” Makoto confirms, somewhat hesitantly. The one thing Makoto is very good at, is reading people, and Rin has no doubt Makoto has seen through Rin's intentions.

“You time yourself?” Rin asks, hoping he isn't prodding too much, but he is a little desperate for these answers.

“Sometimes, if someone is there to assist,” is all Makoto says in response.

“So? Where do you stand?”

Rin doesn't need to explain his question. He knows Makoto understands what he is asking. He is asking, “Are you competitive? Could you qualify?”

“I haven't compared them,” Makoto says, and he gives Rin the smile he gives people when he isn't being truthful, or when Makoto is trying to dodge something that makes him uncomfortable. Rin knows Makoto well enough to see through Makoto's bullshit.

“No, seriously...” Rin starts, but he is almost immediately cut off.

“Rin, I don't want to fight. Let's not discuss this tonight,” and Makoto gives Rin a pleading look, like he really doesn't want to fight about this.

Rin decides to leave this battle for another day. “Fine,” Rin grumbles, frustrated that he barely made any headway with Makoto about swimming. He scuffs his foot against the pavement as they walk, and he looks up to see that they are passing the entrance to the park Makoto had told him about.

“Oh, that is nice,” Rin says, because he can see some flowers and a pond, and there are cherry trees fully in bloom. The romantic side of Rin really wants to take a jog through it right now, because it looks absolutely lovely.

Rin's reaction to the park seems to make Makoto perk up, bringing a true smile to Makoto's lips instead of the fake one he had tried to pass off on Rin a few seconds ago. “Well, you are always welcome to come with me if you don't think it would be too much with the rest of your training regimen.”

Well, Rin _is_ the kind of athlete who coaches often have to force to par down their training. Rin loves training—the swimming, running, weight training. Back at Samezuka, Sousuke used to pester him to not overdo it, and that made sense after Rin found out about Sousuke's shoulder. So Rin makes sure to be careful with everything he does, but he still pours himself into honing his body into the absolute best it can be.

Running is something he is likely to do anyway, so he might as well do it with Makoto. Perhaps, he can even breech the taboo topic of Makoto returning to competitive swimming after awhile. At the very least, Rin knows it will be a good way to bond with Makoto. Rin has always preferred running with a partner than to running alone, and he knows Sousuke is likely to bow out of running with him since the coaches have him doing so much of it during practice.

“I think I will,” Rin tells Makoto, and Makoto's face seems to light up.

Makoto is so happy, in fact, that they almost walk right past the convenience store, which Rin sees, and points to. Rin laughs as Makoto gives him an embarrassed smile, and they go inside and get the eggs and ketchup.

\---------------------

Rin and Makoto return to the apartment, and Rin is surprised to see that it is still intact, not burnt to the ground. Rin was worried he and Makoto might come back to Haru shoved in the oven, or Sousuke impaled by a boning knife. Neither Sousuke or Haru are prone to sharing, especially anything they perceive as their domain, but Rin walks in and finds Haru grilling his mackerel and chatting quietly with Sousuke. He listens in on their conversation just long enough to find out that Haru and Sousuke are discussing cooking techniques. It is a little unnerving to hear them getting along, but it also brings a tentative smile to Rin's face.

Makoto, of course, is absolutely delighted by this revelation. He hands the ketchup and the eggs to Sousuke, who thanks Makoto and promptly shoos him back out of the kitchen again. Makoto and Rin sit on the couch together and chat while they wait for Sousuke and Haru to finish preparing the meal.

When Haru and Sousuke finally bring out plates to serve, Rin notices that Haru also has omurice, and he cringes. “Please tell me you didn't,” and Rin gives Haru a wilting look.

Haru doesn't respond to Rin, only gives thanks for the meal and starts eating what is obviously a mackerel bastardized version of omurice. Rin scrunches his face at Haru. At least he didn't put pineapple on it. When Haru is feeling extra disgusting, he likes to garnish his mackerel with pineapple, much to Rin's chagrin.

Haru looks really pleased with his creation, and works his way through his food, taking small bites. Haru had always been such a polite and dainty eater, but also, picky as hell.

Rin decides he has spent enough time worrying over the crap Haru feeds himself and digs into his own food instead. “Itadakimasu,” he says, and then takes a big bite.

Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, Sousuke has definitely gotten better in the kitchen, and he was good before Rin left for Australia. Rin knows both of Sousuke's parents often spend long hours at their respective jobs. Sousuke probably had to fend for himself a lot during his year at home.

Makoto looks almost beside himself as he shovels another big bite into his mouth. “This is so good,” Makoto says to Sousuke after swallowing his mouthful of food. “Even better than last time.”

Sousuke tips his head at Haru, and begrudgingly gives credit where credit is due. “Nanase helped me improve the recipe a bit.”

Haru takes another bite of his food, then nods. “It was a joint effort. Yamazaki helped me adapt it for mackerel.”

Rin goes from impressed to pissed in a heartbeat. “You did _that_?” he asks his friend, not even sure he wants to call Sousuke his friend after finding that out he ruined perfectly good omurice by letting Haru stick his filthy mackerel in it.

Not only that, but Sousuke and Haru seem pleased by their adventures in cooking together. What parallel universe from hell has Rin fallen into? Then again, they got along well when they cooked with one another in high school during the joint cafe the swimteams did. Rin had thought that was a fluke, but perhaps the two of them can actually display teamwork, as long as it is in a kitchen.

Sousuke stands and takes Makoto's plate. Rin noctices Makoto has practically licked it clean. Sousuke walks to the kitchen and returns with another helping. Someone even went to the trouble of drawing a cat on it in the ketchup. Makoto, unable to hide his pleasure, politely says, “I really shouldn't,” but Sousuke motions at the food and Makoto gives in easily.

“Hey,” Rin complains, finishing up his own omurice. He kicks Sousuke under the table. “Where is my second helping?”

Sousuke lifts an eyebrow, and then being the cocky jerk he is, “Oh, I thought you said your body is a temple, and temples don't get second helpings.”

Rin gives Sousuke a rather irritated scowl, and Sousuke can only keep a straight face for a few more seconds before chuckling and hooking a thumb back in the direction of the kitchen, “There is more in there, serve yourself.”

Rin, kind of pissed that Sousuke felt the need to serve Makoto's food to him, but then left Rin to his own devices, goes into the kitchen and finds his second helping with “Rin” drawn in ketchup next to a picture of a little shark. His name is beautifully scripted, but the shark looks like shit. This is obviously a joint venture between Haru and Sousuke. He tries to stay angry, but can't. It's cute. Rin also guesses that this is why Sousuke made him get it himself. This kind of thing embarrasses Rin a lot, and yeah, he is definitely blushing at the gesture.

“There better not be any shitty mackerel in my omurice,” he calls from the kitchen.

“I put the biggest helping of mackerel inside of it for you, since I know how much you love it,” Sousuke calls back, because he is a dick. A big, sweet dick.

Oh wow, that sounds wrong. Even in Rin's head that sounds terrible, and so he starts laughing. Rin laughs so hard that he actually snorts, which only makes it worse.

“He's cracked,” Rin hears Haru say in his quiet, monotone voice. And that only adds to the hilarity. Rin wipes at his eyes, because he has laughed so hard that his eyes are watering.

“It was the shark,” he hears Sousuke tell Haru.

“That was a terrible shark,” Haru says, obviously not impressed with Sousuke's ketchup art skills.

Rin grabs his plate and joins his friends. He also grabbed the second serving Sousuke had made for himself, and Rin might have snuck in the word, “Dick,” on it, in English, of course.

“What the hell does this say?” Sousuke asks, and Rin just takes a bite of food and smirks, willing himself not to start laughing again. Rin will probably choke on his food if he does.

Haru stares at the omurice for a long time, and finally sounds out the word, because Haru, though terrible at English, is the best at it between himself, Makoto, and Sousuke.

“D-iii-ck,” Haru sounds the word out.

Rin snorts again, trying really hard not to choke and die on his food. Sousuke levels him with a very disappointed look.

“Rin, that isn't nice. And after Sousuke made you a really nice meal,” Makoto admonishes him, finishing up the last bite of his second helping. Mako eyes Sousuke's omurice with a look in his eyes that is suspiciously similar to how Haru looks at water.

“You know retribution is coming, right?” Sousuke asks, looking for all intents and purposes, completely serious. “I know where you sleep.”

This would, no doubt, start one of Rin and Sousuke's epic prank wars. And honestly, Rin really missed them. He and Sousuke would do the stupidest shit to each other back at Samezuka. Sousuke was always fond of the shaving cream in the hand trick. Rin smacked himself awake with a handful of shaving cream on more than one occasion thanks to that asshole.

Rin just smirks at his friend and says, “Bring it.”

\------------------

When everyone is finally done with the meal, Rin and Makoto agree to do the dishes. The peace Sousuke and Haru enjoyed while cooking is broken, and Rin can hear Sousuke bitching at Haru about all manner of things in the living room. He decides it is best to just tune them out.

Makoto, arms in the sink, soap suds all the way up to his elbows, scrubs at one of the plates. He takes it out, rinses it, and hand the plate to Rin to dry. This is just like this morning, except their roles are reversed.

“Rin,” Makoto says quietly, and Rin can barely hear Makoto over the din that is Haru and Sousuke's bickering.

“Hmmm?” Rin asks, bumping his hip into Makoto's as he takes another clean plate from his friend.

“I really am glad you're here,” he says. And Rin watches as Makoto gives him a sad, almost rueful smile. “And I'm sorry about the...the swimming thing.”

Rin sighs, because he wishes he knew how to explain all of this to Makoto. Rin only pushes the issue because he cares, and because he sees Makoto's love of swimming and competition, and all of the wasted potential.

In their Skype conversations, in those rare instances Rin could get Makoto to talk about swimming, Makoto made the excuse that he didn't like the stress of competition. Bullshit. Makoto loves competition. What Makoto doesn't like is losing. Makoto has always felt losing harder than most people, even struggling with it almost as much as Rin.

Rin has a sneaking suspicion that Makoto aligns his ability to win with his own self-worth. But win or lose, Makoto is worth his weight in gold. He is one of the kindest, hardest working, most inspiring people Rin knows, but Rin doesn't have a clue about how to communicate any of that to Makoto. How do you explain someone's importance? Rin desperately wants Makoto to realize he is worth so much more than he thinks he is.

Ever since that first day at Iwatobi Elementary School, when Makoto welcomed him warmly, Rin has always been able to open up to him. Makoto was the first to offer friendship to Rin after he moved. Rin always enjoyed being able to swim with Haru when they were young, but it was Makoto who filled much of the void in his life that Sousuke had occupied. Makoto helped to dampen the loneliness when Makoto had to go three weeks between having Sousuke visit, or when he visited Sousuke. Makoto and Sousuke are so similar, Rin realizes, and yet, completely different at the same time.

Rin always used to sit and talk with Makoto. Makoto cheered Rin on, and encouraged him. Honestly, without Makoto in his life, he might not have had the courage to follow his dream to Australia the first time. Makoto's words were always positive, and always uplifting.

Makoto always had a smile on his face, even when he didn't want to. Rin hates that part of Makoto—the part that tries to save his friends from being hurt , even if it is at his own expense. Makoto sacrifices himself far too often, and Rin wishes Makoto was just a bit more selfish. Maybe then Makoto would still be swimming, because he'd have wanted it for himself. Makoto wouldn't have taken the anger of loss and pushed it aside for Haru's well-being.

Rin has pushed Haru to make his dreams come true, but now he wants Makoto to realize his dreams too. And if Makoto decides that his dream actually is just coaching, then that's fine, Rin will support him. But if Makoto can't even handle talking about competitive swimming, well, that tells Rin more than any conversation ever could. Makoto only avoids things if he is torn by them—like when he avoided telling Haru about wanting to study in Tokyo.

 _Why can't you be more selfish, dammit,_ Rin thinks as he looks over at his friend.

Makoto rinses a pan, and as Rin takes it. Rins fingers skim over Makoto's fingers. Rin lets his hand linger, touching Makoto, trying to convey the confusing mess of feelings Makoto seems to cause. Rin sucks in a breath, and before his courage leaves him, he decides he is just going to say it. Being direct has always been Rin's style, and he supposes this isn’t the time to change that.

“Mako,” he starts, and Rin almost has to look away from Makoto's expectant gaze. Rin's hand is still touching Makoto's hand. “You know you are someone who is precious to me, right?”

Makoto freezes, his eyes growing wide before he gives Rin a confused look. His mouth opens just a bit, like he wants to say something, but can't make himself actually speak it. Makoto tries to find words a couple more times, but in the end, stays silent. Rin, embarrassed by this odd confession, starts to dry the pan Makoto handed to him. The two of them work wordlessly for a few moments.

Rin finally finds the courage to add, “You're worth so much more than you think you are. Don't sell your self short, okay?”

Makoto, his gaze focused on the soapy water and the unwashed dishes just nods, and whispers, “Okay.”

Rin notices that Makoto is barely smiling, in fact, he looks almost wounded by Rin's words, like they have hurt him more than helped. Rin is so afraid he said the wrong thing, that he might have broken something between him and Makoto.

But Makoto takes a deep breath and leans toward Rin, bringing his face close enough so Rin can see how Makoto presses his lips together ever so slightly, and barely furrows his brows. Rin isn't sure what to expect, but Makoto's expression softens as he takes a shaky breath, and in a trembling voice he admits, “Rin is someone precious to me too.”

This all feels far more intimate than Rin had intended. But it also feels true. And as Rin looks at Makoto's embarrassed expression, Makoto's ears and cheeks reddening, Rin knows this kind of truth can shatter if not handled properly, so he treats it with care. He takes Makoto's words, and he holds them close, just as he hopes Makoto does with his.

Makoto turns back to the water and gets the last plate. He scrubs it clean, rinses it, and then hands it to Rin to dry. The silence is broken by Sousuke saying something entirely too rude to Haru in the other room, and Rin chuckles. “We probably shouldn't leave them alone for much longer, they might kill each other.”

This gets Makoto to smile, really smile. Makoto glances over his shoulder at Sousuke and Haru and sighs his disappointment. “They were doing so well, too,” Makoto tells Rin. “I thought they had made some progress.”

Rin shrugs, because even with Haru and Sousuke bickering like petty children, Rin can tell it is might be affectionate. Sousuke gets this way sometimes, especially with people like Momo or Kisumi. Because he still cares, but the person has crossed a line with him. And perhaps it is good for Haru to have someone other than Makoto who can drag him out of his shell. Sousuke might accomplish it in the exact opposite way than how Makoto does, but Haru still engages, which is so rare for him.

Makoto lets the water drain out the sink and then wipes it down while Rin puts the dishes away in the cupboards. Rin and Makoto share one last quick glance at each other, and then they go and join Sousuke and Haru in the living room.

\----------------

The movie is a resounding success, especially with Haru, which Rin is sure that was the opposite reaction than Sousuke had hoped for. The B-side monster movie, made sometime back in the 1970's, was made with the finest monster costumes of its day. Haru is particularly enamored with the details of one of the giant sea monsters.

During the movie, Rin watches as Haru grips the arms of the chair he sits in so hard that his knuckles turn white. Rin also hears the weirdo whisper, “So cool,” no less than three times.

Rin resigns himself to the fact that he will never understand Haru.

The seating in Makoto's living room is limited, so when Haru steals the only single chair other than those at Makoto's dining room table, that leaves the remaining three to the couch. And yes, the couch does seat three people easily, but only if two of those people aren't giants.

Rin, unlucky bastard that he is, wins a spot right in the middle of Sousuke and Makoto, and there is no room to stretch out and relax between them. Sousuke drapes his arm over the back of the couch and behind Rin for the duration of the movie, and Makoto squishes himself toward his corner, trying to make himself as small as possible as to not inconvenience his guests.

After the movie is over, Haru is still mooning over the movie. The movie was practically made for him— water, bad costumes, terrible acting. Rin expects Sousuke to be pissed that he didn't rile Haru up, but Sousuke just sits on the couch looking as impassive as ever. Perhaps, Rin thinks, Sousuke picked the movie knowing Haru might like it. Rin isn't sure he can handle much more of this Sousuke and Haru being nice to each other time. It weirds him out.

Haru gets up and goes to the kitchen. He pulls something out of the fridge and then gets small plates from the cupboard. He puts water on the stove to boil. Rin thinks about stealing Haru's seat while he is gone, because being stuck on the couch between Sousuke and Makoto for over an hour was...oh fuck everything, it was nice. Nice and confusing. Rin has had quite enough of confusing for tonight though.

As if Haru knows, the moment Rin shifts to stand, Haru turns and looks over the cutout, and glares. It says, “Don't steal my seat.” Makoto must see it too, because he tugs at the edge of Rin's shirt, pulling Rin back down onto the couch securely next to him.

After the kettle whistles, and the tea seeps, Haru brings out a tray of cups and small plates of desert to the dining table. He invites all of them to join him. There is a delicate looking miniature chocolate cake for Makoto, whose addiction to chocolate and sweets is legendary. Rin finds a cinnamon biscotti for himself, and there is a honey one for Sousuke. Haru doesn't have any desert for himself, and instead just sips at his tea.

Makoto thanks Haru, and then he takes a bite of his cake. Rin tries the cinnamon biscotti, and there is just a hint of sweetness, perfectly to Rin's liking. Sousuke's eyebrows raise and he also nods in approval when he tries the honey one.

“Did you make these, Haru?” Rin asks.

Haru doesn't say anything, he just nods and takes another sip of his tea. When Makoto finishes his cake, Haru lets him know there is a second one in the fridge if he wants it, but Makoto decides to save it for tomorrow, because he is stuffed. There is such an ease between Haru and Makoto—a friendship and bond that is almost two decades old. Rin can understand why Haru's girlfriend might be a little jealous of something like that.

The mere thought of Haru's girlfriend sours Rin's mood. Ugh, why couldn't he have just forgotten that fact for one night?

“What's wrong?” Makoto asks, sensing that their friendgroup's serene happiness has just been broken.

Rin waves him off, knowing there is no use in starting fights tonight. If Haru wants to talk about his girlfriend, then he can bring up the topic.

Rin finishes his biscotti, and his tea, and he is about to stand and start clearing the table when Haru makes a small motion. Rin realizes that Haru is asking him to sit down again, so he does. Rin notices Haru's unease almost immediately, and Rin can tell Makoto has also sensed it.

Makoto turns his chair toward Haru, and puts a hand on Haru's shoulder. “Haru-chan, are you okay.”

Rin waits for Haru's normal response, _“Drop the chan,”_ but it doesn't come. If he is being honest, Haru looks a little panicked. Rin hasn't seen this expression from Haru since their last year of high school.

He is very quiet when he starts. “I need...I need to tell all of you something,” Haru almost whispers. His eyes are focused on his tea cup. He doesn't shift his gaze a single millimeter.

Makoto, using their telepathic link, or whatever that weird thing is that they have, draws closer to Haru, lending him strength as Haru tries to find the words to say.

Rin starts to let ideas run through his head. What if this has to do with Midori? Or swimming? What if Haru's stupid girlfriend actually convinced Haru to give up competitive swimming? Oh hell no. Hell. No.

Rin can't help but bristle at the possibilities, and Haru, sensing the anger, shrinks back. Makoto sends Rin a look, and it clearly says _stop._ Rin tries to calm himself, but he can tell, just by how Haru is unnerved, and how Makoto's Haru-sense is practically shrieking in alarm, that this news is going to be bad.

Makoto tries to soothe Haru again, encouraging his best friend to tell them whatever he has to. Makoto starts giving prompts.

“Does this have to do with swimming?”

Thank the heavens above, Haru shakes his head no.

“Does this have to do with your college?”

Haru thinks, gives a half-shrug, and then shakes his head no.

“Does this have to do with Midori-kun?”

And, Haru considers this, gives a half-shrug, and shakes his head no.

“Then what, Haru? What's wrong?”

Rin sees how much it bothers Makoto that he can't uncover the source of Haru's discomfort. It is rare that Makoto isn't able to pick whatever thought Haru is thinking straight out of thin air, because he has been translating for Haru for so many years. Rin sees Makoto is trying his best to stay calm, but the lack of connection panics him.

Haru, finally moves and pulls something out of his back pocket. It is a folded letter. It is crumpled a bit from being in the pocket of his pants, but he hands it to Makoto.

Makoto takes it and opens the envelope. It isn't sealed, and inside is a letter. Makoto reads through it, and his eyes widen as he gets to the middle. When he is finished, he puts the letter back on the table and stares at it for a moment.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Rin shouts and snatches the letter, because honestly, the waiting is killing him. Sousuke leans in and reads over Rin's shoulder. The letter is on letterhead from a doctor, and the first thought that Rin has is that Haru has some injury, or is dying, but it isn't that. It is a letter addressed to Haru's college. It is written in that dry, formal way that doctors often write things.

“This is a request for accommodation,” Sousuke says, further in the letter than Rin is. Rin rushes through it to catch up. Then Rin reads it, and he is confused. There is a diagnosis and a request for accommodation, and Rin isn't sure what it means.

“I didn't want to say anything until it was official,” Haru says. “But I finished testing, and my doctor agrees that I am on the spectrum, and that I should have been diagnosed sooner, but it is often under-diagnosed in Japan.”

Rin, like Makoto, puts the letter on the table, and doesn't speak. He doesn't know what to say, and thankfully, it is Sousuke who responds.

“It doesn't really change much,” Sousuke tells Haru. “I have an aunt who is autistic. To be honest, I wondered about it, Nanase.”

And somehow, though ninety percent of the conversation that happens between Haru and Sousuke is antagonistic, this bit of comfort from Sousuke is what makes Haru finally relax and start to talk.

“I was struggling,” Haru admits, “In my classes. Without Makoto there to help me, I struggled.” Makoto tenses next to Haru, obviously bothered by the fact Haru had trouble without him there.

Haru pauses, gathers his thoughts, and then continues after a few moments. “Rei and Nagisa introduced me to Midori, because she is Rei's cousin. Nagisa bribed me with mackerel to go on a date with her. I didn't like her at all.”

Rin wants to ask why the hell Haru had started dating her then, because if Haru doesn't like her, and no one else likes her, then why is she Haru's girlfriend?

“We became friends...more than friends. Dated some. She is an art major, so we had a lot of classes together. My second semester she took the same general classes as me and helped me with notes. She is also on the spectrum. She asked if I had ever been tested. So I got tested. I thought it would be a blood test, but you can't test it like that.”

Haru stops. For the first time in the conversation, he looks up very slightly. He doesn't look at Sousuke or Rin, but rather, at Makoto, whose eyes are glassy with unshed tears. Makoto is absolutely distraught by Haru's confession. This, of course, makes Haru tense and upset. Makoto never cries, never even mists up, even at the very worst or best of times. So when Rin sees the unshed tears hanging stubbornly in the corners of Makoto's eyes, it makes him want to cry. He knows that this has to dig deeply into Makoto.

Makoto starts making soft apologies, “I'm so sorry, Haru,” and “I didn't know, I'm such a bad friend,” and “I would have helped if I had realized.”

Haru reaches over and takes one of Makoto's hands in his own, touch being something that Haru rarely does, and initiates even less. “I'm fine, Makoto,” he says. “Yamazaki is right, it doesn't change much.” Haru is quiet for a moment and then he says, “It does explain why I feel the way I feel sometimes.”

Makoto chokes, but manages to ask, “How do you feel, Haru?”

Haru's lip quivers just a little, then he says in a sad, resigned voice, “Different.”

Rin, unable to take anymore of this, stands and walks to Haru. Rin bends so that he is on Haru's level, and then gently wraps his arms around Haru. When Haru doesn't move, Rin tightens the hug, trying to give his friend as much reassurance as he possibly can.

Haru has the audacity to mumble, “It also explains why water feels so alive to me , or why I don't really like to be touched. Or hugged. It is a sensory thing.”

That bastard. Rin starts to pull back, but Haru wraps one arm around Rin's back and gives him a half-hearted squeeze. He whispers into Rin's ear, “Thank you, Rin.”

Rin, then turns to Makoto, who has lost his battle with holding back his tears, and is wiping them from his face. Fine, if Haru didn't like to be hugged, whatever, he'll give it to someone more worthy. Rin takes a step and puts an arm around Makoto's shoulders. “He'll be alright,” Rin tells Makoto. He has made it this far, right?” Rin turns toward Haru and asks, “You're going to be fine, right?”

Haru looks annoyed. “I'm not dying, Rin. I have Aspergers.”

Makoto pulls Rin closer and cries quietly into Rin's shoulder. There is nothing that hurts Makoto more than failing a friend. And failing Haru? Rin suspects that Haru has the easy role to play in this situation.

It takes a moment for Makoto to pull himself together, but he releases Rin, and wipes the last tears away. Rin can count the times he has seen Makoto cry on one hand. He could count it on one hand if he had been born without fingers. To be honest, Haru's news is shocking, but seeing Makoto cry is the devastating thing this evening. Haru is Haru, and like always, the bastard will survive. Haru is made of tougher things than most people give him credit for.

Sousuke goes to the fridge and pulls the second cake out. He puts it in front of Makoto and orders hims to eat it.

Makoto pushes the little cake away. Sousuke pushes it back. “Don't make me force-feed you,” he says and urges a fork into Makoto's hand.

Still clearly moping, Makoto picks at the cake, but Rin can see some of the worst pain lifting from Makoto. Rin feels a little guilty that he is so worried over Makoto, when it is Haru the one who revealed something so difficult and personal. Rin lets Sousuke handle Makoto, because Rin is too softhearted to deal with Makoto's sadness. Sousuke is the perfect balance of tough and love, and there is nothing better than Sousuke's encouraging words when he wants to share them.

Rin, arguably Haru's second-best friend in the world, decides to tend to him. “So,” he starts, “What do you want us to do?”

“Nothing,” Haru answers.

Per usual, Haru is being difficult. Rin is filled with so many confusing questions, is this because Haru is autistic? Is Haru's antagonizing nature because of the Aspergers? Rin knows he'll need to google some stuff tonight, because he doesn't really know much about autism.

“Do you need help?” Rin asks, trying to offer Haru help in the gentlest way he can. Though, Rin being Rin, he can't help but feel flustered and stuck. He hates that feeling, because it is just a step away from anger and shouting.

“Rin,” Haru says seriously, eyes focusing on Rin's chin, “It doesn't change anything. I'm tired. I want to go home.”

“Do you need someone to take you?” Rin asks, stupidly worried that perhaps Haru can't make it back to his apartment on his own.

Haru's expression really does turn exasperated now. “Have I ever needed help going home? No. I don't. I'm going home. Alone.”

Haru stands, and the only thing that stops him is Makoto's soft voice, raspy from the brief cry he had. “Haru, wait.”

Haru waits for Makoto, who wipes chocolate crumbs from the corner of his mouth. “I'm sorry, Haru,” he says again, as if Haru didn't hear his apologies earlier.

Haru gives Makoto a look, and Rin notices Haru actually maintains eye contact with Makoto, something that is exceedingly rare for Haruka. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Makoto,” Haru says, and he gives his best friend a soft, barely-there smile. “Now we know.”

Makoto repeats this, returning the soft smile with the words, “Now we know.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know that:  
> 1) Rin knows shit about autism  
> 2) Because Rin is my unreliable narrator, the story comes across a little ignorant about autistic spectrum disorders  
> 3) I am not ignorant of autistic spectrum disorders, and it was really hard to write from the point of view of someone who is (I worry that I didn't do it well).
> 
> Knowing this, please excuse Rin if he says something particularly insensitive. He doesn't mean it. But we all know that Rin can be insensitive at times, as it is in his nature. So I tried to ask myself, if I didn't know what I know, what stupid shit would I say? And then I had Rin say that. I also plan on using things that I have heard people say over the years that made me cringe.
> 
> Haru being diagnosed with autism is something that I have had as a head canon for a long time. I even have a MaRinKa fic planned that revolves around it. But know that Haru is still Haru. Haru isn't his autism, it is just one aspect that makes him, _him_. I have spent almost fifteen years working day in and day out with many people who have autism, and I have several friends who have been diagnosed with Aspergers. You quickly learn that it is just a part of them, and though it is important to not dismiss that part, it is just as important to not use it to define someone. It is the difference between saying “ wheelchair person” and “the person in the wheelchair”, because it is so important to recognize the person before the disability (and honestly, some of my friends don't see their autism as a disability, and others do, I go with their preferences, as I do with any friends who are diagnosed).
> 
> That said, I am not diagnosed with autism, so if you feel I am writing any of this incorrectly, or would just like to discuss how I handle it in this fic, please feel free to comment here, or come chat in private with me about it on my tumblr. Pspwrites.tumblr.com


	4. Breech the Surface

Makoto shows Haru out.  When Makoto doesn’t return right away, Rin figures pretty quickly that he is probably outside with Haru.  Rin can hear the hushed sounds of the two talking just beyond the door. 

Sousuke picks up what Makoto left of the cake, wraps it up in some plastic, and puts it back in the fridge.  When Sousuke comes back, Rin gives him a questioning look. 

“Is there a reason for threatening Makoto with cake?” Rin asks, still confused by how Sousuke said he would force feed it to Makoto.

Sousuke shrugs, “Chocolate makes him feel better,” but he doesn’t say any more than that, as if it explains everything. 

Great, Rin thinks, Haru is autistic, Sousuke is encouraging Makoto to emotionally eat, and Makoto cried.  Yep, it has been an absolutely great evening.  Rin pauses, and remembers back—well, the movie was pretty fun, the omurice was delicious, and walking to the convenience store with Makoto had been nice as well.  Some good, some bad, Rin supposes.  Things do have a way of balancing themselves out. 

Makoto walks back into the apartment and joins Rin and Sousuke at the table.  Whenever Makoto is genuinely upset, he loses all of his soft edges.  He doesn’t become sharp and dangerous like Rin can, but Makoto ceases to emanate that special essence that makes him so _Makoto_.  It is sad to see him be so quiet, sitting rigidly with them, not a trace of a warm smile anywhere.

Rin hesitantly reaches over and puts his hand atop one of Makoto’s hands, and gives it a gentle squeeze.  Makoto returns the gesture with a small, but fake smile.  It is meant to placate Rin.  It is meant to say, _don’t worry about me, I’m fine,_ but Rin sees right through it.  Makoto is a bright, warm beacon most of the time, and whenever Rin feels lost, Makoto is someone who can find and calm him.  It is difficult to see Makoto being the one who is lost.

Sousuke, usually never harsh with Makoto, says in that grating, insensitive way of his, “You know he’ll be fine, right?  Nanase is an adult and can take care of himself.”

Makoto breathes in, holds the breath for a few seconds, and then lets it out shakily.  “But I knew.  I knew something was wrong.  Not specifically, of course, but I saw Haru struggling and thought it was best to let him figure it out.”

Sousuke leans back in his chair and nods.  “Which he did.  Nanase struggled, found support, and figured out the issue.  He did all that without you.”

That is the wrong thing to say, definitely the wrong thing to say.  Rin bites the inside of his cheek as he watches Makoto turn and level Sousuke with an icy glare.  Makoto isn’t one for anger, but this is possibly the angriest Rin has seen Makoto.  Ever. 

Sousuke, not leaving well enough alone, leans back in, and repeats the part that wounded Makoto and made him practically seethe, “He did it without you, Makoto.  You said you wanted that.” 

Makoto turns his angry gaze to the tabletop, unable to look at Sousuke any longer.  Makoto flinches when Sousuke reaches over and puts a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Except you didn’t, did you?  You wanted him to need you.”

Sousuke, unnervingly perceptive when he wants to be, seems to have hit the nail on the head.  Makoto’s face goes slack, the anger slips away almost instantly, and then Rin sees how embarrassment and regret replace it.  Rin understands.  This is how Makoto is selfish.  Makoto wants people to need him, and it must hurt so much to know that Haru—the person who always needed Makoto the most—was able to solve this alone.  Not alone, Rin reminds himself, but with someone who wasn't Makoto.

They all stay silent for a few moments, Rin and Sousuke don’t move.  They give Makoto comfort the best they can.  Eventually, Makoto gives them a tiny nod. It is so small that Rin barely notices it.  

“I’m sorry I overreacted,” Makoto says faintly, “It’s just… _it’s Haru_.”

Two words have never explained the entirety of a relationship better.  Rin is very aware of how Makoto and Haru are, and how intimate their friendship is.  To be honest, even though he and Sousuke also share a very close bond, Rin has been jealous of Makoto and Haru’s friendship in the past.  To know someone so well that you don’t even have to talk to understand what the other is thinking?  That is another level of friendship.  Rin, the kind of person who has always been enamored by romantic notions, thinks there have never been two people more suited for the word “soulmate” before.

“You know you’ll never lose him, right?  He’ll always be a part of you?” Rin says, trying to explain what he sees when he looks at his two friends.

Makoto, often unsure of himself, and now being no exception, says, “I hope that’s true, Rin.”  Makoto is quiet for a long time again, but then he adds, “Ever since our fight in high school I feel like we’ve been drifting further and further apart.”

Rin, shocked that Makoto would bring up things that happened in high school, says, “But you guys made up as soon as Haru and I got back from Australia.  He fucking came to Tokyo with you, Makoto.”

Makoto lets out a bitter sound, and then says, “Coincidence.  Haru didn’t really have a choice.  The university he is at was the only one who showed interest in him after the incident at regionals.  He didn’t come here for me.”

There is a profound sadness in this secret this Makoto confesses to Sousuke and Rin.  It is obvious Makoto is convinced that him going to school in Tokyo had no bearing whatsoever on Haru’s choice to come to Tokyo. 

Rin refuses to believe that.  No, he _knows_ it isn’t true.  Haru could have trained in Australia.  Rin’s coach had been enamored with the friend Rin had dragged to Australia with him, saying how much promise Haruka showed.  And yeah, the language barrier thing would have been hell, but Haru could have managed.  Rin is positive Haru chose Tokyo because of Makoto.  If only Makoto could see that.  Rin wishes, not for the first time this evening, that he was better with explaining himself.  However, Rin is the demonstrative sort, but not so much for consoling words.

“Makoto,” Sousuke says, getting their distraught friend’s attention.  “Haru and you will always be friends.  Your being here has so much to do with him being here.  Trust me.  When your best friend decides to come to Tokyo, sometimes you just find a way to follow.”

Rin watches as Sousuke’s attention diverts from Makoto to him as he finishes the last part.  Rin knows he demanded Sousuke come to Tokyo, but Sousuke makes it sound like he might have done it with or without Rin ordering him here.  Rin’s face flushes hotly at the realization. 

Rin allows himself to admit that Sousuke might be the biggest reason why he is in Tokyo too.  Sousuke is someone who often chooses to follow Rin, always standing beside him.  For once, Rin wants to be the person who stands beside Sousuke.  This is something Rin wants just as much as he wants to be on a national relay, or to go to the Olympics.

Speaking to Makoto, but looking at Sousuke, Rin says, “Trust me, Makoto.  He is your best friend.  He came here for you.”

\--------------------

Back in their apartment, Sousuke and Rin get ready for bed.  They have practice in the morning again, something that Rin is excited about, but Sousuke is obviously not.  Rin also has his run with Makoto before breakfast, which Makoto reluctantly agreed to when Rin reminded him. 

It’ll be good for him, Rin thinks.  Rin knows that running is a great way to alleviate anger or frustration.  He ran so many miles those first few weeks when he came back to Japan his second year of high school.  The thing Rin knows now, that he did not know then, is it can’t be the only thing.  Makoto needs to talk to Haru.  So now there are two things Rin needs to convince Makoto to do—start swimming competitively again, and talk to Haru.

“I bet they go easier on us tomorrow,” Rin says as he shucks off his hoodie and pants.  He crawls into bed just wearing boxers and a tank top.  Rin decides to sleep on his stomach tonight, still avoiding his preference to lie on his side, specifically his left side, because it means facing Sousuke all night.

“They better go easier on us tomorrow,” Sousuke grumbles, removing his dress shirt and his tank top.  He looks over at Rin, considers something, and then kicks off his jeans too.  Only left in a pair of dark maroon boxer-briefs, he asks Rin, “You don’t mind if I sleep like this, do you?”

Rin glances over, not able to keep his eyes off of Sousuke’s snug underwear.  Sousuke used to wear boxers, so Rin wonders what is with the change in preference.  “Tch,” he says, forcing himself to look somewhere other than Sousuke’s crotch, “I’m sleeping in my boxers, why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“You look uncomfortable.  That’s why.  You’ve always been such a prude like that,” Sousuke says.

Rin rolls his eyes, not giving Sousuke the satisfaction of a comment.  Most likely, Sousuke is just poking at him to rile him up, so Rin decides not to take the bait.

Sousuke, predictively, doesn’t say anything else to Rin about his “prudishness” and sits down on the edge of his bed.  He rubs his shoulder, and checks it by rotating it.  After a moment Sousuke looks satisfied and crawls under his bed’s covers.

Rin, noticing what Sousuke did, is unable to squash his worry, and asks, “Is it doing okay?  Still feel good?”

Sousuke laughs and settles down on his back.  He holds his right arm up and reaches straight toward the ceiling.  “I think it is the only part of me that isn’t sore.  I’ve been working with it so much that it’s loose and ready for more.  The rest of me,” he pauses to chuckle, “I fucking hurt.  But it is a good hurt.”

Rin lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, and smiles into his pillow.  He cannot explain the happiness he feels when he thinks about swimming with Sousuke.  Last year, when Rin started hatching this little plan of his, he promised himself that he would never take Sousuke for granted again.  Not easy for someone like Matsuoka Rin, to be honest.  Rin knows he is the selfish sort.  

“Goodnight,” Sousuke says, forcing the word through a yawn. 

“Goodnight,” Rin echoes, and closes his eyes to sleep.

\-----------------------

Rin is lacing up his running shoes when he hears a quiet knock on the door.  It is probably meant to be polite, just in case Sousuke is still sleeping.  Rin opens the door to find a slightly tired looking Makoto on the other side.  Makoto peeks in when he sees Sousuke wander by the entrance hallway in sweatpants on his way to the bathroom. 

“He’s awake,” Makoto says, obviously surprised that Sousuke is conscious.

So, Makoto is aware of Sousuke’s proclivities toward sleep.  Well, Rin muses, Makoto did let Sousuke stay with him for three weeks.  It doesn’t really take that long to realize that Sousuke can be a lazy sack of crap in the morning, or that the snooze button might have been invented just to keep Sousuke sane. 

Rin finishes tying up his shoes and out the door they go.  Makoto, who normally makes questionable casual fashion choices, actually looks pretty stylish in his running gear this morning.  Makoto is wearing a pair of ankle-length black running tights, and long charcoal shorts over them.  He layers a dark green mesh athletic shirt, accented with black and white, over a long-sleeved black shirt.  Though Rin notices that Makoto’s pair of running shoes are reminiscent of the green and orange pair he favored while living back in Iwatobi, overall, he looks good.

They start with a casual jog to the entrance of the park.  They run in silence and enjoy the cool morning air for a while.  Makoto is the first one to say something.  “Should we start with the hills or take a warm-up lap?”

“Warm-up lap,” Rin says, and checks his wrist, his watch doubling as a heart rate monitor.  He adjusts his stride, aiming for target heart rate.  Makoto settles into the same pace, right next to Rin.  When they come to a fork in the path, Makoto indicates to take the route on the left. 

A sweaty strand of hair falls into Rin’s eyes, and he realizes he forgot a tie for his hair.  His hair is longer than normal, which Rin prefers, but with the upcoming competitive season Rin knows he’ll have to trim it at least a few centimeters.  He hopes his coach isn’t someone who requires very short hair.  Rin looks terrible like that, and it is hard to admit, but Rin can be somewhat vain when it comes to his appearance.  He pushes the strand back out of his face, and curses his forgetfulness. 

Makoto and Rin finish the first lap, and it is easy enough. The next time when they reach the fork, the two of them veer to the right.  Almost immediately the path drops into a decline, and Rin has to watch his footing since this hill is steep.  There is a small curve and then a punishing incline.  Rin feels his calves burn as he presses up the hill, adjusting his stride to stay within his target heart rate. 

Makoto falls back a couple of paces, because he has never been one for endurance.  Rin makes a promise to get Makoto there.  If Makoto can pick up a longer distance backstroke race, and control that powerful stroke of his, he’d be more than competitive.  The key to that is endurance and teaching Makoto to pace himself, something Makoto has never been good at.  Makoto is all go-go-go, and force and strength.  There is a certain finesse he lacks, and Rin is determined to teach his friend. 

Makoto pushes forward toward the top of the hill, panting hard to keep up with Rin, who has been steady since his initial adjustment at the start of the incline.  “Slow down, catch up with me on the flat path,” Rin tells Makoto, “We’ll switch to that one next.  Keep steady.”

Makoto drops away from him again, letting a few meters drift between them.  The two of them hit the second hill, first down, then up, and Makoto catches up on the decline, but falls even further behind on the incline.  They keep going, reaching the fork again, and Rin takes the left, the flat path.  By the time Rin is about a quarter of the way through this lap, Makoto is next to him again. 

“You know,” Makoto says, sounding a bit winded, “I’m not out of shape.  You’re just on another level, Rin.”

“Olympic dreams,” Rin says with a grin, and Makoto smiles back at him.  It is the first time Makoto has smiled like that since Haru’s confession.  It is good to see true happiness grace Makoto’s lips again.

They decide to take another flat lap, and chat periodically.  Makoto, looking like he is dreading it, motions toward the hill path for their next lap.  Rin nods and down they go.  This time Makoto lets himself fall back when needed, but he doesn’t lose as much ground as the first time.  By the end, he is only a few meters back, and easily catches up to Rin for their last lap.  Once again they chat about random things until they find themselves back at the park entrance. 

They jog home, keeping it easy and slow.  Rin stretches as soon as they enter their building’s parking lot.  He leans against the stairway and makes sure to do a good job stretching his hamstrings.  It is the only thing he had any problems with last year in Australia, straining his left hammy after a particularly exhausting run on the beach.  Understanding hamstring problems can become chronic, and knowing that his wall kicks are particularly important to his swimming style, Rin tends to be extra careful with stretching them now.

It hadn’t taken Rin and Makoto as long to finish the run as Rin had thought it would.  He wonders if Sousuke has finished breakfast yet.  Makoto finishes stretching first and sits on the apartment steps that lead to the second floor landing.  He watches as Rin does a few more stretches, and Rin plops down next to him on the step. 

Rin pushes back another strand of wayward hair, trying to keep it out of his eyes.  Makoto notices and reaches over to tuck a different lock of hair behind Rin’s left ear.  Makoto does this with such focused care.  Makoto’s fingertips brush gently over the shell of Rin’s ear as he pushes the hair behind it, and Rin shivers from the touch.

Makoto’s voice is low and soft when he says, “It’s a lot longer than the last time I saw you.”

Before Rin moved to Tokyo, the last time Makoto and Rin saw each other in person was the week Rin spent in Tokyo.  It was for a mandatory national team practice, just before he and Haru were whisked away to compete in the 2009 FINA world championships in Rome.  That was last July.  Rin can barely believe that he went nine months without seeing Makoto. 

Sure, there were video chats, and their friend group chats too, where Haru was an ass, Sousuke seemed bored, Nagisa excitedly bothered everyone as Rei scolded him, and Rin and Makoto spent a good portion of the time pouring over each other.  There has always been an ease between himself and Makoto.  Talking with Makoto is something that comes naturally.

Rin pushes more hair behind his other ear, not chancing Makoto doing it for him, because Rin is already some awkward shade of red from Makoto doing it to the the other side.  “Are there team standards for length?” Rin asks, hoping that there isn’t. 

“Under the cap, coach says,” Makoto tells Rin.  “If it pokes out, he’ll take clippers to you himself.  He isn’t too tough though.  I know he seems like he’s strict, but he’s a good coach.”

Rin can tell.  During their first practice Rin witnessed the kind of respect the team had for their coach.  Seijuro’s silent reverence had been the best indicator of this.  It is hard to make someone like Sei stay quiet for any amount of time.

Rin nods as his own fingers absently brush over the tips of his hair.  Rin is shocked out of his thoughts by the large, warm hand at the nape of his neck, fingers lingering in his hair before massaging gently into the base of Rin’s scalp.  Rin doesn’t lie to himself, it feels nice. 

“Makoto, stop, I'm sweaty and gross,” is the only thing he can think to say to get Makoto to stop, because Rin really doesn’t want Makoto to stop.

“RinRin isn’t gross,” Makoto murmurs, using the nickname that Rin hates if anyone other than Makoto says it.  But Makoto’s fingers drop from Rin’s hair, and he chooses to rub absent circles down Rin’s spine instead.  When Rin doesn’t say anything, Makoto reverses directions and works his fingers up Rin’s back, only to repeat the process.  Never has touch both soothed and unnerved Rin so equally.

Finally, as Makoto’s hand moves downward along Rin’s spine for a third time, Rin finds his voice.  “Sou probably has breakfast ready,” he says, sounding shaky.  As Makoto’s fingers drop away, Rin realizes how much he wishes he had let Makoto continue. 

Makoto stands and offers to help Rin up.  The strong grip of Makoto’s hand around Rin’s hand makes Rin’s stomach flip.  And for a second, it feels like Rin’s stomach is almost in his throat.  Or maybe it feels more like he is falling—the feeling of drifting through empty space until you drop fast and hard.

“I can’t wait to eat more of Sousuke’s cooking,” Makoto says, giving Rin’s apartment door a longing glance.  “He is so good at it.”

Sousuke really is, and Rin wonders if the culinary arts would be a good backup plan for his friend. 

“Our fridge is pretty bare, so I think it is probably fried eggs, rice, natto, salad, and maybe some tofu.” Rin informs Makoto, “But starting tomorrow, we are going to go off of some meal plans I got from my dietitian in Australia.  I hope you don’t mind a mix of western style cooking too.”

Makoto looks impressed, and still ridiculously happy to be eating Sousuke’s cooking.  “I trust Sousuke.  He is very impressive in the kitchen.”

“You make it sound like he is your wife,” Rin laughs, and Makoto laughs too.

Makoto stifles his chuckle behind one hand shyly, and with a quiet snort he adds, “ _Our_ wife.”

Rin nearly loses it at that.  “Let’s get him a frilly apron that says, ‘Best Wife’ and make him wear it when he cooks.”

Makoto covers his mouth with both hands, laughing in that adorable way of his.  It is so strange to see a big guy like Makoto trying to politely hide his laugh behind his hands. 

“Sousuke-kun will kill us if we do that,” Makoto says, finally quieting down his laughter. 

“Probably with a frying pan,” Rin says, and he and Makoto start laughing all over again.

\-----------------------

Sousuke, looking a small bit more awake than the previous day, has everything set out for Makoto and Rin when they finally come inside.  There is a cup of coffee beside Rin’s food, which Rin promptly gives Sousuke a glare for.

“What?” Sousuke asks, “We have to use it up.  I’m not wasting food.”

Rin tries to look angry, but as he sips at the warm coffee, he practically melts.  Makoto has already dug in, and like yesterday, looks absolutely delighted by what he is eating.  There is a soft expression on Sousuke’s face as he watches Rin and Makoto eat, and when Rin notices it, he reaches over and cuffs Sousuke on the arm.

“Eat, you sentimental idiot, or we’ll be late,” Rin says, no harshness in his admonishment.  Sousuke frowns and shoves a bite of leafy greens into his mouth and chews them. 

\-----------------------

Today’s practice goes as well as the first practice.  The team is made aware of the timed races that will occur next week to figure placements.  Coach Oda will make determinations as to who will be swimming in what races in their first upcoming intercollegiate meet, which is in the beginning of May, and coming up fast.  They also receive a schedule with the different invitationals and duels. Rin makes note of a duel between Haru’s university in early June. 

The regional intercollegiate championships take place late in summer.  Then, there is the option to train for short course during the winter, after the regular season is over, specifically to try and compete in Dubai at the FINA’s 25m world championship.  Rin doesn’t particularly care for short course, but he’ll take any chance to compete.

Coach Oda also says he will consider the team’s deficiencies, and there is a possibility that he might slot swimmers into races that aren’t their specialty if there is a need.  Secretly, Rin hopes there aren’t enough backstroke swimmers, so he can push Makoto into trying for a spot.  But Sei is strong in backstroke, and there are several others on the team who have builds similar to Makoto’s, which often indicates a specialty in back.  Rin secretly hopes they all suck.

What Rin realizes right away, is that butterfly is a stroke his team lacks swimmers for.  Seijuro doesn’t really specialize in anything, being the beast that he is.  He can do every stroke, and every distance.  However, Sei’s best times are in the 50m and 100m butterfly races, and 50m free; but hypothetically he could get tossed into the 200m breast or the 800m free and stay competitive.  So it really depends on where Oda needs Seijuro to be.  That leaves a distinct possibility that Sousuke might be needed to step up and take an official spot doing butterfly.  Rin grins that the thought, because having Sousuke next to him all season would be amazing.

When the practice is over, some of the assistants hand out practice schedules for the following week.  With classes starting, practice shifts to the afternoon.  There is also an optional Saturday practice, which Seijuro informs Rin, is not really as optional as it sounds.  The only people who tend to treat it that way are those who don’t garner any of the competition spots.  If you are on a relay, the Saturday practices are definitely mandatory. 

As the season progresses, the schedule shifts to double practices on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday; and singles on Thursday, Saturday and Wednesday.  Wednesday is usually easy during doubles training, and Sei tells Rin they use it more as a team-bonding day and to keep everyone on a schedule.  Sunday is always a rest day. 

Rin is relieved to see that the schedule is similar to what he had back in Australia.  He is also happy that team unity seems to play a big part into Coach Oda’s philosophy.  _For the team_ wasn’t just some childish notion that Rin swore by, it is still something he holds close to his heart. 

When Rin and Sousuke make it back to the showers, Sousuke is more human than sentient zombie today.  “So how was it?” Rin asks, trying to hold back his excitement.  Sousuke looked really good in the water. 

“I still hurt, mostly from yesterday, but it was easier,” Sousuke mumbles as he bobs his head under the spray. 

When they get out, Makoto is standing in the locker room, but unlike yesterday, he is dressed in his legskins.  “I’m going to get in a few laps,” he says, and motions toward the pool.  “You don’t have to wait for me.”

Rin scoffs at that, of course they are going to wait for Makoto.  In fact, Rin rushes to dress and grab a stopwatch.  Rin is also going to time Makoto, since Makoto isn’t exactly forthcoming with the information like that. 

Sousuke and Rin stand by the pool and watch as Makoto takes a couple of warm-up laps.  There is one other person in the pool, but they are taking lazy laps and Rin can tell they are probably just a random student taking advantage of the pool’s open hours. 

When Makoto finishes warming up, he pulls up to the side of the pool and gives Rin a look.  “Are you going to stand there and watch me the entire time?”

“Not like it is much different than what you do with us,” Rin says in reply.

This garners a sigh from Makoto.  “No, I watch the entire team.  I also do errands for Coach Oda, track times, run the cameras, and a dozen other things.  You two are just standing and staring at me swim.”

Nothing wrong with that, but Rin knows Makoto doesn’t necessarily like to be the center of attention.  Rin holds up his stop watch and shakes it at Makoto.  “How about I do something useful then?”

Makoto lets go of the side and bobs his head underneath the water.  When he comes up again, Rin can see the look of frustration Makoto has.  “Riiin,” Makoto whines quietly, “I thought we agreed to drop that.”

“I did no such thing,” Rin says with a smirk.  “Come on, please?  Show me your best.”

Rin thinks Makoto is going to kick off and just do more laps, but Sousuke give a slight nod and Makoto gives a huff of defeat.  He still doesn’t look too pleased as he puts his hands on the starting block for the backstroke and pulls his feet up onto the side of the wall.  “One hundred meters, call it,” he tells Rin, and sets his position.

“Go!” Rin says and clicks the stopwatch.  It isn’t as efficient as the automatic timer, but that has been turned off for the day, and the masterboard locked up.  Rin knows that he has a good enough eye and reflexes to track Makoto’s time manually, even if it won’t be quite as accurate as if they had used the electronic starting device and touchpad.  This is just for Rin’s curiosity anyway—anything that gives him ammunition to get Makoto to swim with them again.

Makoto arches back and into the water.  It is clean and his angle of entry is good, at least from what Rin can tell.  Back has never been a stroke Rin was particularly good at.  Rin and Sousuke watch as Makoto dolphin kicks and then breeches the surface to begin the stroke.

“His style has a lot of strength,” Sousuke says, watching as Makoto slips down the lane, making decent time. 

Rin nods, but he can see the places where Makoto exerts too much energy, and tries to force his way through the water rather than slice through it easily.  And his dolphin kick might be just a smidge too big, also wasting energy.  These are all slight, but if they can fix these things, Makoto’s time could improve quite a bit, and fixing the expended energy issue would help with endurance if he decided to do the 200m back. 

Makoto makes his flip turn, and heads back toward them.  Rin is pleased to see Makoto pick up a lot of time on the turn, and when he breaks the surface of the water a second time, Rin notices that Makoto has eased into the stroke more, not forcing it quite as much.  Looking down at the stop watch, Rin finds that Makoto is putting up a fairly decent time.

Sousuke looks over Rin’s shoulder and glances at the time too.  “He hasn’t lost much from when he was training for nationals.  In fact, he might end better.”

Rin doesn’t even try to hide his sharp-toothed smile as Makoto touches the wall and Rin clicks the stopwatch.  Oh wow, yes, this will work.  It might not be enough to be competitive on a national level, but it is more than enough reason to push Makoto to join him and Sousuke. 

“Good job,” Sousuke tells Makoto and reaches down to pull the bigger man out of the water.

“It felt good,” Makoto says with a nod, and then sneaks over to Rin to glance at his time.  Rin practically beams as he holds up the stopwatch for his friend to see.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?” Makoto asks with a frustrated groan. 

“Nope!” Rin almost shouts.  “Now, get back in the water.”  And with that, Rin takes the towel draped around his shoulders, and whips it at Makoto, landing the shot squarely on Makoto’s backside. 

Makoto yelps and his hands immediately drop into a protective cover over his rear.  When he decides that Rin is done, he rubs his sore buttcheek and says, “Rin,” a low warning tone evident in how Makoto says Rin’s name. 

“Take a couple minutes to recover and let me time your free hundred meters,” Rin tells him, and Makoto walks over to the starting block without complaint.

“I just want you to know that this doesn’t change my decision, and I’m only doing this so you won’t bother me about it for weeks.  I know how you can be.”

Oh yes, Rin doesn’t even try to deny it.  He is definitely stubborn and persistent, and Rin has no qualms with being the little bug in Makoto’s ear, whispering about how great it would be to get back into competitive swimming.  The only thing Makoto has wrong is thinking that this will be the end if he lets Rin time him, not even close.

There aren't any big qualifier meets they need to worry about this year.  Other than the 25m pool races with FINA in the winter, 2010 is an off year.  No Olympics and no regular FINA world swimming championship.  Next year’s FINA is the important year, because it is like a prequel for the 2012 Olympics, and the national team will be watching carefully.  Rin has it all planned out—settle into Tokyo, put up times that get himself noticed, get on a national relay for FINA, get on a national relay for the Olympics, and finally, drag Sousuke (and now Makoto as well) along for the whole ride. 

After a few minutes Makoto lets Rin know he is ready to go again.  This time, in particular, will probably be slow, because of the 100m back race Makoto did, and because free isn't Makoto's specialty. Makoto positions himself on the blocks, and he nods to show he is ready.  “Go!” Rin barks, and Makoto is in the air without a second’s hesitation.  At least the start wasn’t late, something that Rin knows Makoto used to have issues with in freestyle races.  His angle is just a touch low, but only if Rin is being super picky.  Free is Makoto’s second stroke, he is sure to have some deficiencies that need to be fixed. 

Rin is so enraptured in Makoto’s swimming, that he almost ignores it when Sousuke elbows him in the ribs.  Rin makes a vague hand motion, meant to wave him off, but Sousuke elbows Rin again, a bit harder this time.  Makoto is nearing the opposite wall and is about to turn, but Rin looks over at his other friend.  Sousuke just motions silently toward one of the pool entryways and Rin sees Coach Oda standing there. 

“As you were,” Oda says softly.  The old bastard lifts a finger to his smirking lips and pantomimes for them to stay quiet.  It makes Rin grin from ear to ear, because he sees the ally he and Sousuke have just gained.  Rin wonders if Oda saw Makoto’s backstroke too?  Rin really hopes he did.

Makoto comes up out of the turn, and his stroke is getting tired and a little sloppy.  He is exerting too much energy, especially for freestyle, and his time shows it.  But, honestly, it isn’t bad, and sometimes it is okay to have things to fix.  Being slow and perfect just means you’ll never amount to much.  Being slow and sloppy means a good coach can get you in line with the right routine. 

As Makoto nears the end of the race, Rin notices as Coach Oda slips out of sight, almost like he had never been there.  When Makoto touches the wall Rin clicks stop and is still decently impressed.  He can work with this.  It isn’t great, but it is a start.  Rin has done more with worse, and since it is Makoto, Rin certainly doesn’t mind putting in the time to get his friend where he needs to be.

Sousuke drags Makoto out of the water, and Rin practically jumps for joy.  Makoto gives Rin a look of, _oh_ _crap, what have I gotten myself into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little short (only 6000ish words instead of 8000), but if I started the next part I could tell this chapter would be well over 10k. Who wants to wait for that? Not me. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has commented and chatted with me about this fic. I appreciate all of you very, very much. It is because of you that I feel so motivated and inspired to write this. Writing is easier when you are excited about the upcoming content, or because you know you have a supportive audience for the work. 
> 
> I for sure will update this next week, but I'll shoot for another update later this week. Perhaps Rin will start to realize that his "friendly" feelings for Makoto and Sousuke are less "friendly" than they are actual feelings. At the very least, you are going to see an escalation in touch and physical affection. Sousuke does need his massages, you know. ;)
> 
> Don't be afraid to chat with me in the comments. I love to talk about this story, or about character headcanons, or really anything having to do with Free!. I hope you all have a lovely day, and thank you for taking the time to read my fanfic.


	5. To See You Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for ridiculous self-indulgent rough-housing between Sousuke and Rin. I had planned on them wrestling with each other, but halfway through writing it I realized that perhaps it might have been better to do it when they were both fully clothed. Oh well. What is fanfiction without a little self-indulgent half-naked guy wrestling?

The next three days go by in a blur.  Classes will start Monday, and Makoto warns that Sunday’s rest day is to be strictly adhered to.  If Coach Oda catches you in the pool on a Sunday, you can bet there will be hell to pay, so Rin finds himself with no immediate plans.  He doesn’t have homework, he doesn’t have practice, and so he is left with a lazy Sunday.

Rin wakes up early, per usual.  Sousuke is still asleep, taking advantage of the one day of the week he can sleep in.  Rin watches Sousuke for a few minutes, and no, it isn’t _that_ weird.  Sousuke makes the most hilarious noises while sleeping.  He snores, but his snoring is broken up by these ridiculous snuffles and half snorts.  Rin pulls out his phone and takes some video, trying not to laugh.  Sousuke will kill him for this if he ever finds out, but Rin can’t help himself.  Rin has a couple of other sleeping Sousuke videos from back in Samezuka stored somewhere on his laptop since he has changed phones since then.  Perhaps someday he’ll post bits of them online.

Rin puts on a well-worn pair of sweatpants and slips out of the bedroom.  He sits down on the plush chair with a book and gets through a chapter before the apartment buzzer rings. 

Rin answers the door, and it is no surprise to find Makoto on the other side.  “Good morning, Rin,” Makoto says with his patented smile.

Oh.  Breakfast.  Shit. 

Rin and Makoto had decided to forego their morning run on Sundays a few days ago, but Rin realizes that they never discussed breakfast.  Rin lets Makoto in, but puts a finger to his lips.  “Sousuke is sleeping,” Rin whispers to Makoto, and he bites back a chuckle when he sees the disappointed look on Makoto’s face.

“I thought he might be,” Makoto says.  “I suppose we could go get breakfast at the diner up the street if you want.”

That isn’t a bad idea.  Okay, it is a bad idea, because it’ll probably wreck the diet Rin has already been so strict about, but it is the last Sunday before classes start and the swim season really gets going.  Rin nods, and tells Makoto to hang on while he puts on some different clothes.  Rin sneaks back into his bedroom, and Sousuke is still dead to the world, a soft snore coming from him on each inhale.  Rin changes into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  He gets a light jacket from the closet and creeps back out of the room, leaving Sousuke in the nearly pitch black to get some more rest. 

Rin shoves his wallet in his back pocket and motions to Makoto, who took Rin’s seat on the plush chair.  “Alright, you know where we are going, lead the way.”

It is only a short walk up the street until they come to a tiny shopfront in a small strip mall.  It doesn’t look like anything special, but Makoto seems to approve of it, so the food is likely decent.  There isn’t a hostess, and Makoto tells Rin that it is a local family-owned joint.  The owner waves to Makoto and welcomes him in before telling them to pick any seat.  Makoto grabs a couple of menus from a pile at the door, and chooses the booth in the back corner. 

“It’s all really good,” Makoto tells him as Rin flips through the menu.  Rin notices that it is a mix of more traditional Japanese fare, but also a few dishes that he hasn’t had since leaving Australia.  A western style, horribly unhealthy breakfast—Rin’s mouth starts salivating at the thought of it.  It is definitely the very last thing he should choose, so of course, he chooses it.

James and some of the other swim team members used to drag Rin to an all-night diner back in Australia.  Rin only allowed it in the off-season, because the place was a complete dive, and the grease content would probably kill lesser men, but it was delicious and the memories of going there are precious to Rin.  He learned a lot of things on those 2 a.m. outings with his teammates.  They were a loud, raucous group, and it was one of the few times that Rin actually felt a bit out of sorts.  Rin has never been known as a quiet or reserved person among his Japanese friends, but among his Aussie friends, Rin was always getting teased for that kind of thing. 

“Relax, Matsuoka!” James insisted when Rin apologized to the waitress for how loud they were getting. 

Rin hasn’t completely assimilated back into Japanese culture yet.  He wonders how people perceive him now.  He has certainly picked up a few habits from his time in another country, like his Japanese is rusty, and there is a slight Australian accent that slips into his words sometimes.  Rin has also caught himself being too familiar with a few of his new teammates. 

There are things Rin never felt completely comfortable with in Australia, but there are also things he misses so much now that he isn’t there, things he didn’t even know he was attached to until returning to Japan.  Is it possible to be homesick for a place that isn’t actually your home?  Maybe Australia had been a home of sorts.  Perhaps Rin is doomed to be forever stuck in the space between Australia and Japan.

Rin wonders if he will ever return to train or live in Australia.  He’ll definitely go back for a short visit.  Maybe when he isn’t so damn broke Rin will take Sousuke, or Makoto, or maybe both of them, to see the sights.  There are so many amazing things that Rin got to explore there as an adult that he never did as a kid.  Rin enjoyed Australia the first time he went, even if it was tainted by loneliness and the cultural barrier, but last year was definitely better.  Australia is this big, beautiful, weird place; and Rin still loves it with all his heart. 

“Rin, are you okay?” Makoto asks, and Rin realizes he has just been pushing his food around on his plate.  “Don’t you like your food?”

Rin does like his food.  Actually, it falls just enough on the side of unhealthy that he is delighting in it.  “It’s good, Makoto.  I’m just thinking.”

Makoto gives Rin a smile that encourages him to elaborate, but Rin isn’t sure he wants to talk about this right now, not while the wound is still open and raw.  Instead of talking about Australia, Rin asks Makoto how his food is.  Makoto lights up and tells him it is great.

Makoto’s sweet tooth definitely played a part in his choice of breakfasts.  Makoto has all but demolished the chocolate crepe with fresh strawberries and sweetened whipped cream he ordered.  Rin scrunches his nose.  It is definitely not something Rin considers breakfast food.  Makoto could have at least ordered the savory crepes, because then Rin might have stolen a bite. 

Makoto also has a mocha-flavored sweet coffee monstrosity.  Makoto takes a sip and Rin laughs when the dollop of whipped cream shifts and some ends up on Makoto’s upper lip and the tip of his nose.  Makoto looks down sheepishly and licks the cream off.   Rin reaches over with a napkin and wipes at the bit on Makoto’s nose that Makoto couldn’t get with his tongue. 

“I can get it,” Makoto says, taking the napkin and blotting his nose before blushing hard and looking at the table instead of at Rin.

“You’re always mothering everyone, Makoto.  Let me return the favor,” Rin says, but still relinquishes the napkin to his friend.  He doesn’t want to make Makoto uncomfortable, because Makoto has never been someone who enjoys when people dote on him, despite how much he does it to others. 

They finish and Rin tries to take the ticket to see how much he owes, but Makoto insists on paying for the meal.

“To say welcome back, and to thank you for inviting me over to your place to eat with you and Sousuke,” Makoto tells Rin.

Rin scratches his neck, “Sousuke does the cooking, and you pitch in money for the food.  No need to thank me,” Rin mumbles.  He isn’t sure how he deserves any of the credit, but Makoto is adamant that he does.

“You’re the catalyst,” Makoto tells him, as if that is supposed to explain it.  It explains exactly shit all, at least to Rin.  Makoto continues, looking at his mocha instead of Rin.  His expression settles into something soft, and Rin doesn’t know what he has done to earn that kind of reverence from Makoto. 

“You make things happen, Rin,” Makoto tells him.  “You did it with Haru in high school, and now with Sousuke in college.  You are the kind of person who has goals and works hard to accomplish them.  But you are also the type of person who shares his dreams.” 

Rin gives Makoto a confused look, trying to extrapolate what in the heck that has to do with Makoto needing to thank him.  “I’m not following, Makoto.”

There is this momentary wistful look in Makoto’s eyes, and he glances up at Rin, the excitement evident in his expression.  “It’s like our relay back in elementary school.  Your dream was to do a relay with friends.  Rin, you’ve always been an accomplished swimmer, and you could have spent your time training alone.  Without a relay you could have done more individual events, won more medals, but you put your heart into something you could share.  _For the team,_ ” Makoto whispers, remembering the words that Rin had written on his brick.  “I’m thanking you for sharing your dream, for…for letting me be a part of it.”

“Damn right you’re a part of it!” Rin interjects.  He knows it comes out harsh, but what Makoto said is starting to get to him, and there is no way that he is shedding a single tear over an omelet in some diner. 

“Literally, Makoto, I want you swimming with me again.  We could…” and Rin hesitates as he finally puts to words what he really wants, “We could swim a relay again.  You, me, Sousuke—we’d be a good team.”

Makoto purses his lips, and his brows draw together, not into something angry, but rather in a contemplative way.  It is the first time Rin has seen Makoto look like he is actually considering Rin’s suggestion to pursue swimming again.

“Rin, I’m not good enough to be a pro swimmer,” and Rin sees the doubt Makoto shrouds himself in, because his shoulders drop and he pulls in on himself.  Rin desperately wants to shake him out of it.

“Okay, you aren’t good enough _yet_ ,” Rin says, “But even if you never get good enough to go pro, I looked at college competitive times on my phone last night, and you are already sitting somewhere in the middle.  You are aware that over half of the Japanese National team also competes in collegiate races, right?  Which means you _are_ good enough, Makoto.  Not for just college either, you could get serious and try to compete nationally.  You’ve been out of practice for almost a year, with training…”

Makoto’s doubt seems to give way to panic.  Rin knows he has said too much, pushed too hard.  Makoto isn’t ready to know that he could be a contender.  Rin desperately tries to backtrack, not wanting to spook his friend from the idea any more than he already has. 

“Look, just do a relay with me.  See what Coach Oda says,” Rin tells Makoto gently.

“Team tryouts are over, Rin, and we have several strong back swimmers…” Makoto tries, but Rin is already there, cutting off his argument before it gets traction.

“Look, if Oda is willing to have you coach, I’m sure he’s willing to let you swim if you put up the right times.  Just do the timed races this upcoming week and see where you stand.  If you don’t do well, or Coach doesn’t allow it, then I’ll drop it.” 

Rin doesn’t tell Makoto about his suspicions that Coach Oda wants Makoto on the team too.  Rin knows he has to keep this as simple and straightforward as possible in order to convince Makoto. 

Makoto lets out a long, frustrated breath, and breathes in another slowly through his nose.  He holds it for a moment, and then exhales the air, this time calmly.  “Only if Coach Oda approves it,” Makoto finally tells Rin.  Rin has to bite back a happy whoop, but he gives Makoto his very best toothy grin.

“Don’t look so happy with yourself,” Makoto admonishes Rin, and so Rin shoves another bite of food into his mouth in order to distract himself from the happiness threatening to overtake him.  Rin chews, swallows, takes another bite, chews, swallows—only then does he feel like he has squashed enough of his happiness to continue their conversation.

\--------------------------

When Makoto and Rin return to their apartment complex, Makoto apologizes and tells Rin that he and Haru are getting together during the afternoon, and he needs to run some errands on his way to Haru’s apartment.  Rin considers seeing if he can tag along, but he knows that Makoto and Haru probably need the alone time. 

Those two need to air out their grievances.  Rin is positive they will never get there alone, but that’s okay, it’s a process he is willing to help with.  Step one will be just getting comfortable enough to slog through all the really difficult emotional baggage they have kept from each other.  Step two will be to get them to admit the failings in their relationship.  Step three is forgiveness.  Right now, Rin guesses, neither is even on step one.  This will obviously take time, and Rin knows he has to give that to them.

Rin walks into the apartment and toes off his shoes.  It is dark and quiet save for the snoring coming from the bedroom.  Really?  It is almost eleven.  Rin and Makoto spent a long time with each other in the diner after they finished eating.  Rin even broke down and got some coffee, black of course.  Rin doesn’t stand for any of that sweet frou-frou shit that Makoto pours in his.  Makoto even enjoys those silly cocoa designs that they shake on the whipped cream. 

Rin, not trying to be silent, steps into the bedroom, and after about three seconds of consideration, smirks and takes a running leap onto Sousuke’s bed.

Sousuke wakes with a start, complaining loudly as Rin tears his covers off.  It only takes one good shove and kick to knock Rin off the bed and onto the floor, but hey, at least Rin has the covers too.

“You complete fucking asshole,” Sousuke grumbles as he tries to lie back down without his top sheet and comforter.  Sousuke is wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxerbriefs, and Rin had managed to grab all the bedding too, save for a single pillow.  Thanks to Sousuke’s sleepy stupor, Rin is able to reach up and steal the pillow too.  “That is low.  That is so fucking low,” Sousuke says and tries to use his arms to cushion his head instead.

“Come on, you lazy shit, get up.  I’m not letting you sleep your life away,” Rin tells him. 

Sousuke makes an irritated sound, and then says, “No,” as if that is the end of it.

Rin, not at all deterred, unhooks the fitted sheet from the head of the bed before Sousuke can realize what he is doing, and then unhooks and pulls the corners off the other end.  Tugging the sheet, it starts to slip off the bed with Sousuke on it.  Sousuke has two options: 1) let Rin pull him off the bed with the sheet, or 2) shuffle up as the sheet comes off, and sleep on a completely bare bed.

Sousuke, unfortunately, picks an unforeseen third option, which is to sit straight up, and come at Rin.  He is still sluggish with sleep, so there is little grace in his movements as Sousuke tries to wrestle Rin to the floor. 

“You are the worst friend,” Sousuke grumbles as Rin hooks one of his ankles around Sousuke’s calf and drops him to the floor.  An arm goes around one of Rin’s shoulders as Sousuke tries to maneuver him into a hold.  Rin isn’t exactly the best wrestler, and Sousuke easily has ten kilograms on him, but there is something to be said for how out of it Sousuke is when sleepy.

They used to do this kind of thing all the time when they were kids.  That was back when Rin hadn’t settled on a single sport, and hadn’t decided that his father’s dream was his dream.  When Rin was seven, he had been into everything—swimming, soccer, basketball, wrestling, sumo, and even skateboarding.  Rin had also considered judo and baseball at one point, but his mother told him that she couldn’t afford that many lessons and sports leagues.  Swimming is what stuck, but that doesn’t mean Rin doesn’t have a fondness for all sports.

Sousuke’s grogginess starts to wear off, and at some point Rin gets turned on his back.  Sousuke has an arm hooked under one of Rin’s knees, and the other under his shoulder blade.  Rin feels when Sousuke tips Rin’s shoulders down and pins him. 

“I win,” Sousuke says with a satisfied smirk.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rin says back, somewhat disappointed by his defeat, but also happy that Sousuke is awake. 

Sousuke laughs at him and rolls off, relieving Rin of the heavy weight atop his body, and that is when Rin realizes he’d been wrestling with a grown, nearly naked man.  Rin is mortified when he notices the state of Sousuke’s undress.  What in the hell had he been thinking?

Sousuke isn’t far behind in figuring out the issue, because he follows Rin’s gaze, which is stupidly locked on Sousuke’s boxerbriefs, and therefore, Sousuke’s crotch.  “You did this to yourself,” Sousuke says matter-of-factly, and makes no effort to apologize or cover up. 

Rin tries to convince himself that it is just Sousuke in his underwear.  It shouldn’t be anything weird.  It isn’t like Sousuke got turned on by their little match.  And even if he had been turned on, morning wood is a thing.  It is a _thing_ Sousuke happens to be afflicted with quite a bit.  Rin doesn’t know if it happened at Samezuka, because maybe the bunkbeds made it easier to hide, but since Rin always wakes before Sousuke here in Tokyo, it is very obvious.  Perhaps it has something to do with Rin disrupting Sousuke’s masturbation schedule.  Rin really doesn’t want to have that awkward conversation either, but perhaps allotting each other “alone” time might be good.

Rin gets up and mumbles something about letting Sousuke get dressed, and goes to wait in the living room.  “Prude,” Rin hears Sousuke call to him from the bedroom, but Rin doesn’t care. 

Rin tries to scrub his memory of how it felt to have Sousuke lying prone on top of him, body almost bare, Sousuke laughing in that contented way that makes Rin’s heart feel like it might burst.  The thing that bothers Rin the most is how he didn’t dislike it, not at all.  He probably even liked it.  Rin feels absolutely conflicted by that, and thus, redirects this frustration onto Sousuke.  Why in the hell would Sousuke wrestle him while almost naked?  What an asshole.

\--------------------------

The following Wednesday night, Rin is almost done with the reading for his organic chemistry class when his phone chimes.  He picks it up and sees a message from Gou.  She had expressly forbid him from hovering and being her “overprotective big brother” while she got settled into her first week of classes, so Rin hadn’t talked to her in over a week.

 **_Gou_ ** _: My classes aren’t as hard as I worried they would be.  How are yours?  
**Rin** :  I like them.  I have a good organic chemistry teacher.  She makes me want to consider something in that field._

Gou sends a disapproving animated emoji, and Rin rolls his eyes at his sister’s flair for being overdramatic.

 ** _Gou_** _: You still haven’t picked a major?  Don’t you have to declare soon?_  
**Rin** : Not enough of my credits transferred.  Technically, I’m still a first year.  
**Gou** : Don’t tell mom that.   
**Rin** : Don’t you either.

Rin smirks at his phone.  Gou had always been his confidant whenver he needed to keep secrets from his mom.  Sousuke, the big lug, has too many tells, and can’t hide anything for shit.  Rin’s mother knew that and exploited it when they were younger.  If Sousuke and Rin snuck something out of the fridge before supper, all she had to do is put one hand on her hip and give Sousuke a disapproving glare and he’d crack and confess. 

Gou was the kind of person Rin could rely on to keep his secrets, not that he really wanted to keep things from their mother, but Rin’s lack of second year status wasn’t something of great consequence.  He could take extra classes over the next few semesters and catch up on the credits.  Rin didn’t want to worry his mother, because she was already stressed from paying Gou’s tuition, and also dealing with her empty nest syndrome.  Maybe she’ll get a hobby, Rin muses, or maybe even date someone. 

That thought digs at him.  Sure, Rin wants to see his mother happy, but the notion of her loving anyone other than his father just plain hurts.  Rin knows it hurts his mom too, because she always balked at the idea of dating when he and Gou were still kids.  She always said that his father was the love of her life, and losing him was like losing a part of her soul.  Rin got most of his romantic ideals from his mother, and his parents are the reason Rin believes so strongly in love.  Still, he wants his mother to be happy.

 **_Gou_ ** _: you’ll never guess who I ran into on campus today  
**Rin** : Who?_

Gou sends a couple cute, excited emojis, and Rin has to send her an exasperated looking one back.

 **_Gou_ ** _: Haruka-senpai!  I’m taking an introductory sports and leisure management course, and it was in the physical education building.  He was finishing up one of his classes and we both got out at the same time.  
**Rin** : Haru?  You and Haru are at the same university?_

Rin wonders if Gou told him that.  Rin knows he can be oblivious to things he doesn’t deem important, but he is pretty sure that he would have remembered if Gou mentioned going to the same university as Haru.

 **_Gou_ ** _: Yes we do.  Midori suggested it since they have a good physical therapy program.  Though I’m kind of considering doing sports management instead._

Rin grumbles at the mention of Haru’s girlfriend.  And since when is Midori friends with Gou?  Well, she is Rei’s cousin.  Rei, Nagisa, and Gou were pretty inseparable their last year of high school.  It makes sense that people who were important to Rei or Nagisa would also become important to Gou. 

 **_Rin_ ** _: Hey, do me a favor?  
**Gou** : Maybe. What’s in it for me?_

Rin sends another exasperated looking emoji.  He wonders if he can find one that looks like it is flipping someone off.  He has need for an emoji like that.

 ** _Rin_** _: You get the pleasure of knowing you did something nice for your older brother._  
_**Gou** : hmmm…I don’t know_  
_**Rin** : Stop being a baby.  I need you to check up on Haru for me.  Just keep an eye on him and make sure he is doing okay._  
_**Gou** : Why wouldn’t he be doing okay?  He seemed to be doing well when I ran into him._  
_**Rin** : He probably is.  Just do it for me, okay?_  
_**Gou** : yeah, yeah.  I suppose I can do that._  
_**Rin** :  thanks_

Sousuke sticks his head into the study where Rin is currently texting and ignoring his organic chemistry homework.  “Hey,” he says, getting Rin’s attention.  “Dinner is ready.”

Thank goodness for that.  Rin’s stomach has been trying to eat itself for the last half an hour, and whatever Sousuke is cooking smells divine.  Rin joins Sousuke and Makoto, and is welcomed by plates of roasted chicken, salad, pickled vegetables, a bowl of some kind of cut up fruit, and a few other miscellaneous items. 

Makoto, wearing a plain navy apron, is helping Sousuke tonight since he already finished his homework.  Rin notices that the apron was likely a necessity since Makoto has gotten a few stains on the front of it.  Makoto can be clumsy at times, and even moreso in the kitchen.

Makoto sets a bowl on the table and reaches behind his back to untie the apron.  Sousuke looks over and sees that Makoto is struggling with the knot.  “Here, let me help,” he says, pushing Makoto’s hands away and picking at the straps.  “How did you manage to do this?”

Makoto looks embarrassed and shrugs.  “I don’t know.” 

Sousuke finally gets the two ties to come undone, and Sousuke’s hands seem to linger on the small of Makoto’s back for just a moment.  As soon as Sousuke’s fingers release Makoto, the apron comes loose and Makoto takes it off and returns it to its hook in the small pantry closet, then the three of them sit down to eat.

Tonight is going to be an early night, mostly because the timed races take place tomorrow afternoon.  As Rin assumed, Coach Oda was completely fine with Makoto participating.  Rin even thinks he might have seen a twinkle in his coach’s eye.  Makoto hadn’t taken the permission badly, per se, but he certainly hadn’t taken it well either. 

Makoto spent the majority of Monday night worrying himself sick about what the other swimmers on the team would think.  His biggest concern was that everyone would think he was rude for circumventing the swimming tryouts.  Rin attempted to help by pointing out that he hadn’t tried out either, but that seemed to make it worse.

“Of course _you_ didn’t try out Rin.  You were on the national team, you made FINA finals,” Makoto had argued.  “You were scouted.” There was something about how Makoto had said it that had sounded so sad and disappointed.

Hearing that hurt in Makoto's voice had been really difficult.  Rin, not really one to deal with emotions properly, started to get frustrated and Sousuke sent him to go study, because Rin was apparently, “Irritating the hell out of him.”

Thinking back, Rin doesn’t want to admit it, but he might have been a little jealous of how effective Sousuke was with Makoto.  After about thirty minutes of hushed talking between Sousuke and Makoto in the living room, Makoto had seemed more settled with the idea of swimming the timed races.  At one point, and Rin isn’t proud of this, he actually pressed his ear to the door and tried to eavesdrop on the two of them. From what Rin could tell, Sousuke just listened as Makoto poured his worries out.  Sousuke didn’t even say very much, but afterwards Makoto seemed better with the idea. 

Tuesday night Makoto had needed a little encouragement too.  Rin had stayed with him after practice while Sousuke went to a study group.  Rin had changed back into his legskins and jumped into the pool where Makoto was already swimming. 

“Let’s race,” he suggested to Makoto, and at first Makoto didn’t want to.  That is, until Rin agreed to do back. 

Makoto had so completely destroyed him in a 100m back race, that it seemed to help at first.  But Makoto made a self-depreciating comment, “Well, it isn’t one of your specialized strokes, Rin,” which Rin replied to by splashing water at Makoto.

“Stop it,” Rin had demanded of his friend.  “You beat me because you’re talented, Makoto.  I did improve my backstroke in Australia, you know.  I’m not as terrible as I was in high school.”

Which, Makoto responded to by coyly saying, “Well, I don’t know about that.  It’s still pretty terrible.” 

They both laughed hard at Makoto's jab, and Rin was grateful that he could give some reassurance to his friend.

And that leaves them here, tonight, eating dinner together.  Rin can see that Makoto still isn’t completely comfortable.  He fidgets more than usual, and he doesn’t make any of his normal accolades about Sousuke’s cooking.  At one point, Sousuke gets up to get some condiment out of the fridge, and when he gets back he sets a reassuring hand on Makoto’s shoulder for just a moment.  Makoto stills, gives Sousuke and Rin a look, and apologizes.

“Nothing to apologize for, Makoto,” Sousuke says as he squeezes out some sauce next to his chicken. 

“You’ll be fine,” Rin adds.  He already knows it doesn’t help to tell Makoto that he should be more confident in his abilities, so instead he says, “We believe in you.”

Sousuke nods in agreement, and Makoto seems to relax after that.  Makoto might not trust himself, but he does trust Sousuke, and Rin also to an extent.  When both Sousuke and Rin agree on something, it seems to be the consensus that Makoto needs. 

And Rin and Sousuke have come to a consensus.  After spending their post-practices waiting for Makoto while he swims, and even coaching him a little when Makoto allows, Rin and Sousuke agree that he has potential.  Sousuke even brought it up last night after they had crawled into bed.  They talked well past midnight about certain drills and particular coaching methods which could really improve Makoto’s times. 

Seeing Sousuke passionate about coaching is new, but Rin likes it almost as much as he likes having Sousuke swimming with him again.  Sousuke really does have a talent for it.  It is like Ai all over again.  Sousuke had certain style—his no-nonsense approach, the supportive words when necessary, and watchful presence—these are the things that Sousuke offers as a coach, and it seems to work just as well with Makoto as it did with Ai. 

They finish up the meal, and though Sousuke never helps with cleanup, tonight he lets Rin return to his studying as he and Makoto share the chore.  Rin hesitates by the door of the study for just a moment.  He watches as Makoto and Sousuke stand at the sink and do the dishes together.  Makoto washes and Sousuke dries.  Rin hears both of them laughing quietly in that unguarded way that Rin finds so much comfort in. 

Rin also notices how Sousuke bumps his hip into Makoto’s hip, and Makoto responds with a reluctant smile.  Rin has noticed Makoto tends to shy away from a lot of physical contact.  As warm and caring as he is, Makoto acts very reserved.  Though he will share small, inconsequential touches, he often flinches when Sousuke gives his arm a reassuring squeeze, or when Rin knocks a knee against his leg, or when Rin tries to sling an arm around his shoulders (which is also hard because Makoto is huge, and therefore, it is a bit more awkward than when Rin does it with Haru). 

Physical affection has always been something Rin is comfortable with.  In high school he would roughhouse with Sousuke, or ruffle Ai’s hair, or even cuff Momo on the arm.  Rin definitely considers himself close with Makoto, but Rin can’t remember Makoto initiating hardly any touch between them.  He was almost as bad as Haru, who _never_ initiated it.   Rin doesn’t remember touching Makoto very much either.  Makoto was the person Rin had always been able to talk to, yes; but touch, not really. 

Rin needs to finish reading the last twenty pages of his organic chemistry, so he stands up to shut the study door.  Before he does, Rin looks out and sees Sousuke leaning into Makoto, and Makoto leaning back against Sousuke.  They are still at the sink, still washing dishes, but they are standing hip to hip, their arms, hips, and thighs pressed against each other.  Makoto doesn’t flinch at all this time, and that makes Rin smile. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short again, a product of Chapter 4 being chopped in half. I'm sure you won't mind this little pre-weekend fanfiction treat though.
> 
> Next Update: Likely to be late next week. Probably Thursday or Friday since I think it will be a longer chapter.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to talk to me and comment. I apologize if I respond with a novella, but I am really excited by every person who takes the time to chat with me over Toss a Penny. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed the glimpse into the SouMako that is happening behind the scenes. If you have been over at my tumblr -- http://pspwrites.tumblr.com/ -- you already know that I've been toying with adding a SouMako companion piece once we get further into the story, so you can see all the SouMako that you have been missing. That is the disadvantage of having a single character's POV in a threesome poly fic. You don't get to see all the really cute, sweet things Makoto and Sousuke are doing behind the scenes, because Rin isn't aware of it. Though I had to laugh at Rin at the end of this chapter. I kind of want to shake him and ask, what exactly do you think Makoto and Sousuke are doing when they are literally attached at the hip. The boys were leaning in and flirting, but Rin doesn't get that yet. You will, Rin. I promise, you will.
> 
> I have one more question. I asked it over on tumblr, but some of you only interact with me here, so I thought I'd ask here as well. Do you mind if this fic gets its rating bumped from Mature to Explicit? Any smut that I write in, will be skippable, and won't interfere with continuity.


	6. Things Are Going Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got Rin to do stuff this chapter. Hell yes.

That night Rin dreams about water.  Somewhere in the back of his mind a small voice tells him it is only a dream.  The water is deep and dark and Rin is unafraid.  He floats about ten feet beneath the surface, and he can taste both salt and chlorine.  This isn’t an ocean, but it isn’t a pool either.  It might be somewhere in Australia, but it might also be somewhere in Japan.  The only thing he knows is there isn’t a need to breathe, and perhaps that is what cues him to the fact that this is a dream. 

Despite how oddly dark and silent this place is, or how Rin can’t fathom how far it could be to the bottom, and no matter how alone he is in this moment—there is something he finds strangely peaceful about this dream.  There is only a moment of hesitation before he kicks his legs and glides through the water.  Rin’s fingers stretch forward and his hand cuts a path for his body.  Rin is torn about whether he should push deeper, rise to the surface, or maintain his current depth. 

Rin has been at the surface for so long, and yes, it has been trying.  Where he is now is nice, far enough below to not be tossed about by the chaos of the waves.  This is so close to where he has been.  However, the deep water calls to him.  Rin stops moving and allows himself sink down into its serenity.

Rin wakes up slowly, blinking his eyes and still perceiving the heaviness of the black, inky water.  He is too tired to sort through the dream, but it nags at him all the same.  He sits up in his bed and rubs at his eyes, trying to clear the bleariness of sleep from them.

“Good morning,” Sousuke says, still lying in his own bed, half-buried in covers, but also awake.  Actually, Sousuke looks like he has been awake for some time.

“Good morning,” Rin says as he kicks off the last of his bedding and throws his feet over the side of the mattress. 

It is colder in the apartment than it should be for late April, and part of Rin wants to forego his morning run with Makoto in lieu of his comfortable mattress and warm blankets.  This kind of laziness isn’t typical with Rin, and he wonders if it is a product of his dream.  Sousuke quietly watches Rin, his expression not quite readable in the dim room.  Rin stands up and flicks on the light, which Sousuke protests by grumbling and tossing his comforter over his head.  Rin laughs and fights back the urge to join him.

\--------------------

Everything about Rin’s life has already become so routine.  A typical day starts by running with Makoto; then, morning classes, lunch with Sousuke or Makoto (Rin’s schedule permits him to eat with one or the other during the week, both on Fridays), and more classes; followed by swim practice, a group dinner, studying, and then sleep.  Rin enjoys the pattern his life has fallen into. 

Sousuke, rather passive about his education in high school, likes his program and classes now that he is in college.  Rin might even dare to call Sousuke “enthusiastic” about them.  Makoto, who already adored his program last year, has fallen even deeper in love with his area of study.  It helps that Makoto finally has the option of narrowing his specialty, which is, of course, beginning students.  Makoto is even playing around with the idea of volunteering at a local swim club in his free time, which he has precious little of.  Makoto insists that he might be able to help out with a late class on Thursday after practice, and maybe Saturday afternoon.  Rin worries Makoto might be stretching himself too thin, especially if he earns a competitive spot on the team.

Later that day, Rin meets Makoto for lunch, and he can see how preoccupied his friend is with the notion of the timed races, but unlike the last few days, Rin notices a shift in Makoto’s attitude.  He is less concerned about what the team will think of him, or his frustration with Rin, and instead worries if he’ll be good enough. 

“What if I make a fool of myself?” Makoto mutters, poking at his bento. 

 _As if_ , Rin thinks, because Makoto is glorious and powerful in the water, and even if Makoto’s times aren’t enough to officially earn a spot on the team, Rin knows he’ll still push the others he competes against.  However, Rin also knows that reassuring Makoto he’ll be fine isn’t enough.  Makoto is too dismissive of that kind of comfort.

“Just remember what Sousuke and I have been helping you with, and do your best,” Rin tells Makoto.  “That’s all you have to do.  Oh!” and Rin smirks his best sharp-toothed grin as he imparts one last bit of advice, “And try to have a little fun.”

Makoto pouts, because Rin is sure nothing about this process has actually been fun for Makoto, but Rin also knows there is so much potential for happiness if Rin and Sousuke and Makoto can get placed on one of the relays together. 

Rin might have mentioned the relay thing to Seijuro in passing, because Sei is close to Coach Oda, and the person most likely to put a bug in the Coach’s ear.  Seijuro mentioned that the 4 x 200m freestyle has always been a weak event for their team, and he wouldn’t mind being a part of it with the three of them.  Rin kind of likes that idea, because Makoto shows a lot of promise in the 200m free, if he allows himself be coached out of certain bad habits.  It also helps that the 4 x 200m free is likely one of the team’s throwaway events.  Every team has them, because there is always some area of deficiency where they lack decent swimmers.

This team seems to have quite a few strong back swimmers, and a whole slew of people who specialize in breaststroke.  The breast swimmers are terrifyingly talented in the water, and it makes Rin glad to specialize in butterfly and free.  Butterfly is a weak area for the team, because though they have a couple of very good fly swimmers, Rin included, there aren’t enough to secure a full roster in all events.  That is, unless Coach Oda slots Sousuke into a few races.   There are quite a few people on the team who specialize in front crawl, but there are also a lot of free race slots to fill.

Makoto looks at his watch and notices the time.  “I’m sorry Rin, I have to hurry over to the physical education building for my next class,” he says before shoving the last of his food into his mouth. 

Lunch always seems to go fast when Rin spends it with Makoto or Sousuke, and he also needs to finish eating quickly so he can get to his organic chemistry class. 

“I’ll see you at practice,” Rin tells him as Makoto shoves his empty bento box into his bag, waves goodbye, and runs off. 

Rin makes it to his organic chemistry class with a of couple minutes to spare.  There are only a few other students seated, so he pulls out his phone and texts Sousuke.

 ** _Rin_** _: Hey. You ready for today?_  
**_Sousuke_** : the timed races?  sure.  how was Makoto?  
**_Rin_** : Hmmm, so-so?  Kind of focused?  
**_Sousuke_** : yeah, he’s been nervous  
**_Rin_** : Sou, am I doing the right thing?  Pushing him to swim again?  
**_Sousuke_** : don’t pull me into your moral dilemmas

Sousuke never likes getting involved in Rin’s drama, even when Rin did nothing to start it.  It has been like that their entire friendship.  This is all the time for conversation they have, because Rin’s teacher shows up and starts the lecture, so Rin texts goodbye to Sousuke and takes out his organic chemistry notebook.

\--------------------

A few of Rin’s teammates are surprised to see Makoto pulling on legskins at the beginning of practice.  Many of them are privy to the time he spends in the pool after the official practice, but this new development has several of them curious and asking questions.  Rin, not wanting Makoto to get too flustered, shoos most of them away.  Makoto is already in his own head too much, and more scrutiny isn’t going to help him concentrate on his races. 

The coaching staff posted a schedule of races on the team’s bulletin board.  What you are swimming in is determined by a mix of your preference, the coaching team’s preference, and what openings there are.  Rin pities the swimmers that have to do a mix of long and short races today.  Seijuro said the coaching staff understands if one race affects another, whether due to fatigue or lack of rest between races, and therefore, winning a race isn’t the only determining factor on whether a person is slotted into an official competitive spot.  The race is just one measuring mechanism they use, and they will hold additional races on other days if needed. 

Practice still doesn’t start for fifteen minutes, so Rin sits down next to Makoto on one of the locker room benches.  Most everyone is outside looking at the bulletin board or talking with one another.  The few people in the locker room change quickly and head out. 

Makoto looks focused, and Rin has to remind himself that Makoto swam in several high profile races.  He knows how to mentally prepare for them.  He even swam individually in regionals.  The only time Rin ever witnessed Makoto let emotions get the better of him was the 200m freestyle he did with Haru.

Rin is still a little baffled as to why Makoto didn’t do better in regional race for the 100m backstroke.  His current times, and his relay back split times, certainly suggest that he should have at least made finals in regionals, if not gone on to nationals.  However, as Rin recalls, Makoto lost in the preliminaries.  He is curious about it, but those aren’t questions he should ask Makoto right now.  Rin files them away for another time, because he is sure there is more to this mystery of Makoto giving up competitive swimming than meets the eye.

Makoto and Rin haven’t said anything to each other, and Rin is afraid of upsetting Makoto, so he keeps quiet.  It isn’t until Sousuke comes and sits on the other side of Makoto that the silence is finally broken.

“Just remember to hold back during your free race.  The pacing is important,” Sousuke tells Makoto, who nods in reply.  “And don’t go too hard on the dolphin kick in your back.  You’re still wasting energy, think smaller, but only _slightly_ smaller.” 

Sousuke discovered that having Makoto visualize his kicks as smaller helped reign in his excessive kick movement, and on Monday Makoto put up an impressive 100m back time during their little post-practice practice.  

They sit quietly for a few more moments, focusing on the upcoming races.  More people come in, change, shove things in lockers, and then leave.  Someone comes in and shouts the normal five minute warning.  Rin knows he wants to say something to Makoto before they compete for slots. 

Makoto stands, ready to leave for the pool and to do warm-ups with everyone, but Rin reaches over and tugs on Makoto’s wrist to get his attention.  Makoto stops and looks down at where Rin is still sitting on the bench.  Rin musters the courage to say something, because he needs to.  Makoto is doing this because of him, and Rin thinks, maybe even _for_ him. 

“I really do believe in you,” Rin says, trying not to mumble these words that are so important.  “Let’s swim together, just like back when we were in swim club together.”

Makoto’s posture relaxes, much of the rigidity falling away, and he offers Rin his pinky, a promise they haven’t made to each other since elementary school.  They were ten years old the last time he and Makoto did something like this. 

“For the team,” Makoto says as Rin hooks his pinky in Makoto’s pinky. 

Geez, the two of them are such saps, if Sousuke’s look of mild disgust is anything to go by.  Sousuke has never been the sentimental type, and Rin has always been terribly sentimental.  How they ever meshed their two life ideologies together to become best friends, Rin will never know.  Perhaps it is because they balance each other out.

Sousuke gently knees Rin in the back and mutters, “Let’s go.  It’s not a good day to make coach mad.”

No, it isn’t, and so Rin drops Makoto’s pinky, and Rin notices the slight flush creeping up the tips of Makoto’s ears, so he playfully elbows Makoto in the ribs and gives him a devilish smirk.  “Let’s do this,” Rin says as they hurry out of the locker room.

The hundred meter fly is the first thing on the schedule after warm-ups.  Rin positions himself on the starting blocks with six other people.  Sousuke is all the way down in lane eight, as far from Rin’s lane four spot as he could possibly be.  Sousuke will have to contend with the waves from the inside lanes, and the lack of being able to view the fastest competitors (i.e. Rin).  Though, if anyone has the ability to race in that particular “underdog” lane position, it is Sousuke.  He likes it when his competition underestimates him. 

The call to their marks is given, and Rin sets his stance on the block.  There is an automated start sound and Rin leaps off.  He thrills at the feeling of his body knifing into the water at the perfect angle.  He stays under longer than most of the other swimmers, because Rin often flirts with the fifteen meter rule before breaking the surface.  He comes up just in time, and finds his teammates already behind him.  The swimmer in lane five hovers too close for Rin’s comfort, so Rin lets loose a small burst of speed before settling back into his pace and then readies himself for his turn. 

Rin adjusts his stoke, touches the wall with both hands, and drops one arm in order to prepare for his kick.  Rin’s kick has always been his secret weapon, because despite his small stature for a fly swimmer, he has very powerful legs.  Any hopes that his teammates had of catching up with him are destroyed as Rin pushes off the wall and glides under the surface until right before the fifteen meter mark.  He comes up and finishes the race strong.  

Rin stands at the end of his lane and immediately looks toward the board for his time, which is decent enough.  The thing that surprises Rin, is that Sousuke is up before most of their teammates.  In a world where hundredths of seconds separate winners and losers, Rin is more than happy to see Sousuke take third place, only a few hundredths of a second behind the second place swimmer, and only a bit more than three tenths of a second behind Rin.  It shows promise.  Sousuke grins at Rin before he pulls himself out of his lane.

One of the assistant coaches is praising Sousuke when Rin finally makes his way over to them.  “The structure helps,” Sousuke tells the coach.  “I haven’t had someone coaching me since high school, so being part of a team is helpful.”

When Rin can finally finagle Sousuke away from his impressed mentors, he reaches up and ruffles Sousuke’s hair.  Rin, still a little winded from his race, is brimming with a lot of unexpected energy.  Part of him wants to just bounce up and down on his feet and shout the happiness that threatens to explode from him. 

“Good job, Sousuke,” Makoto says as he approaches the two of them.

Sousuke, enjoying his success at first, is now getting a little overwhelmed by all the praise.  He just deflects the compliment, and tells Makoto, “Yeah, it felt good.  I’m sure you’ll do just as well.”

Makoto doesn’t look confident about that, and turns to Rin.  “You have improved so much since the last time I saw you swim competitively.”

Rin raises an eyebrow at Makoto, because he and Sousuke swam a mock race the other night, but Rin assumes it probably isn’t the same thing.  Rin always swims better when there is something on the line.  “I’m glad you think so, _coach.”_

Makoto purses his lips together, and Rin isn’t sure if he appreciates being called that, or is frustrated by it.  The starting sound goes off and interrupts Rin’s thoughts.  The 400m free swimmers dive into the water off the starting blocks.  Rin sees Seijuro in the fourth lane, and as expected, he pulls ahead of the other swimmers before the first turn.

“He’s really impressive,” Makoto says, not at all hiding the awe in his voice.

“He really is,” Rin replies, watching as Sei practically destroys the competition.  Now Rin really wants to do a relay with him.  Seijuro easily finishes in first, and his time is competitive, even outside of the college circuit.

There are two more races before Makoto is called up for the 100m back.  Makoto drops himself into the water when his heat is called up.  There are two heats of five swimmers, because back is an event that a lot of swimmers on the team specialize in.  The first heat is already done, and the times are taken down from the board to prepare for the second heat.  Makoto is placed in lane six, which isn’t too bad. He takes his place on the block, and when the automated start sounds, Makoto easily breaks off into the water, back arched perfectly for a good entry angle. 

“He has the best start form of these five,” Sousuke says as Makoto keeps his dolphin kick reigned in, just like Sousuke had told him to. 

Rin is so pleased when Makoto breaches the surface in first place.  The swimmer in lane five has a faster stroke though, and catches up to Makoto quickly, but Makoto notices and adjusts his pace.  The two of them stay together all the way to the turn.  The turn is what makes the difference.  Makoto flips and pushes off the wall, and like Rin, Makoto has powerful legs and a strong turn.  Makoto takes the lead, and this time he is more aware of his teammate and doesn’t let him reclaim first. 

It is a very close race, and at the end, the winner has to be determined by the touchboard.  Rin can’t help himself and lets out a whoop when he sees Makoto’s time—it places him in first for his heat.  When the times between the two heats are combined, there are four swimmers who are all within tiny fractions of seconds of one another, and Makoto’s time is the third fastest. 

“That was better than I thought he’d do,” Sousuke tells Rin, eyes wide in some sort of dazed admiration for Makoto.

When Makoto pulls himself out of the water, a group of people descend on him, telling him congrats and patting him on the back.  Makoto is well-liked, especially as a trainer/coach.  Rin wonders if Makoto’s position as a coach will end if he is drafted onto the team as a competitor.  He certainly seems to have proven himself, because the back swimmers on the team are quite good.  Rin also notices Coach Oda standing off to the side taking notes on a clipboard.  The smile the coach directs toward Makoto is nothing less than pleased. 

 _One down, one to go_ , Rin thinks as he remembers that Makoto will also swim the 200m free later in the practice.  Rin hopes that Makoto puts up an equally good time in that, because doing the 4 x 200m free relay with him seems more and more alluring every time Rin considers it. 

Sousuke is also slotted for the 200m free with Makoto, but Rin is slotted for the 100m free race.  Rin finishes his freestyle race, easily taking first.  Rin’s time isn’t his finest, and part of him really wishes Haru had been there so he could show off what he is capable of.  Haru always brings out the best in Rin where competitive swimming is concerned, at least these days. 

The 200m free is one of the last races, and there is only a single heat.  Sousuke is in lane six, and Makoto is in lane seven.  Rin sees right away how this can be helpful for Makoto.  Sousuke is very methodical about pacing himself, especially in the longer races.  Having Sousuke next to Makoto means that there will be someone there for Makoto to adjust to.  Rin really hopes that Makoto realizes it too.

The buzzer sounds and the swimmers dive in.  Makoto and Sousuke breach the surface within moments of one another.  Rin grins, because he sees how Makoto matches his pace to Sousuke’s.  They look perfect in the water together. 

Two of the other swimmers pull ahead by a few meters, but Rin knows they are both short race specialists.  They will burn themselves out at that pace.  The first turn comes and goes, and Makoto and Sousuke keep beside one another.  After the next turn, Makoto pulls out just a bit from Sousuke, mostly because Sousuke doesn’t utilize his kicks as well as Makoto.  The two swimmers in front of them drop back so that they are only a bit in front of Makoto. 

The last turn comes and Rin sees as Makoto explodes off the wall, finally letting himself release the saved energy from the previous laps.  Sousuke’s turn isn’t quite as powerful, but he doesn’t hold back his stroke anymore.  Sousuke easily catches up with Makoto and passes him, but Makoto manages to stay behind him for the rest of the race. 

When they touch the wall, it is Sousuke in first, another of their teammates in second, and Makoto places third.  It isn’t a bad finish for either of them considering how long they have been out of swimming. 

Makoto seems stunned when he glances over to the electronic display board to see what his time is.  It is a decent time, and Rin is so very, very proud of both Makoto and Sousuke.  The entire team congratulates Makoto, and several of them admonish him for hiding his talents from them.  Rin can tell that Makoto is embarrassed by the attention, but also pleased.  Rin wasn’t wrong, Makoto _does_ like to swim competitively.  He can see it in the way Makoto seems to beam with happiness despite his shy embarrassment. 

The group breaks away as Coach Oda makes his way over to Makoto.  He smiles and presents Makoto with a pair of team swim jammers and a team jacket and pants.  “Welcome to the team, Tachibana, again,” the coach tells him, and then pats Makoto on the back.  Rin notices how Makoto holds the team apparel with reverence, like Makoto might not be worthy of it, but he most definitely is. 

Rin hangs back.  He doesn’t want to ruin this moment for Makoto, because Rin has a knack for making things about himself, and this is most definitely not about him.  If there is anyone who deserves to have people love and praise him, Makoto is that person.  Sousuke, however, has no issue making space for himself in Makoto’s joy.  Sousuke leans in and whispers something in Makoto’s ear, and Makoto responds by looking down at the pool tiles as he tries to hide the smile that Sousuke causes.  Rin isn’t sure he understands how the two of them have grown so close in such a short amount of time, but he approves.   

The last swimmers take their places.  Being the last and most grueling event, the team cheers on the poor souls who signed up for the 1500m free.  There is one person, Hamada, who has light colored hair and a lithe frame, and for a moment Rin is reminded of Nitori.  Rin hopes to see Ai at one of the invitationals this summer, but Ai’s university team is small and located in the Hokkaido prefecture.  Ai had been so pleased when a University offered him a partial swimming scholarship, and Rin had been proud of Ai for continuing swimming in college.

Rin snaps back to attention to find the swimmers finishing their third turn.  Hamada isn’t doing badly, but there is one particular swimmer who is almost half a pool length ahead of the other two.  Rin blinks and wonders how the hell the former Samezuka captain does it. 

“Is that really Seijuro out there?” Rin asks Makoto when he realizes the redhead in the lead is probably Mikoshiba. 

Makoto hides a laugh behind his hand and nods.  “Seijuro thought it would be fun to join the two long distance freestyle swimmers since he only had three races today.  Coach okayed it.”

Rin isn’t that shocked by Seijuro’s impromptu race.  Seijuro has always had incredible endurance.  However, Rin is surprised when Sei finishes a full ten seconds ahead of the two swimmers who specialize in that particular race.  How in the hell?  Mikoshiba really is a beast.

\-----------------------

After their practice, Sousuke suggests they go eat at the Athlete’s Café, which is the restaurant that Makoto took Rin and Sousuke to on their first day of practice.  Rin isn’t thrilled about the idea, since he already broke his strict diet on Sunday, but he supposes there are enough healthy options on the menu. 

The three are getting ready to walk over when Makoto asks, “Sousuke definitely deserves a night off from cooking, right RinRin?” Makoto uses the nickname that Rin isn’t all that fond of, unless he and Makoto are alone.

Sousuke seems to perk up as soon as Makoto says it, finally paying attention more attention to Rin and Makoto than the pavement under his own feet.  “Hey,” he complains, “Why don’t you yell at him like you yell at me when I call you that?”

Rin, eloquent smooth talker that he is, just mutters, “Why don’t you shut up?” This earns Rin a look of disdain from Sousuke.

When they arrive at the café, Sousuke holds the front door open for Makoto, and waits until Makoto is through it to turn to Rin and say, “Yeah, whatever, _RinRin,_ ” and lets the door close on Rin.  Sousuke is undoubtedly the epitome of maturity.  Rin wants to give Sousuke a medal for it, and then wring his stupid neck with the ribbon it hangs from.

Rin slinks into the seat across from Makoto and Sousuke, who have decided to squeeze into one side of a booth today.  It really makes no sense to have both of the bigger men squished together, but when Rin offers to let one of them sit with him, Makoto just politely declines. 

Rin is about to pout or be pissy when he feels Sousuke kick him playfully under the table.  Sousuke’s expression does nothing to betray the damn game of footsie he is playing.  Rin, of course, kicks back. 

“What are you going to get?” Sousuke asks, pulling down the corner of Makoto’s menu to see what page he is on. 

It is no surprise to find Makoto looking at the curries.  “I might try a different curry this time, but I really like the green one.” 

Sousuke shrugs, “I can get the red with pork if you want to split the green with me, that way you can have some of both.”

Makoto immediately looks happily back at the menu and points at the green options. “Do you mind if I get the vegetable version of the green?  I really like the eggplant in it.” 

It is like watching some romantic comedy drama _thing_ , and Rin definitely feels like the third wheel on a weird date.  Rin doesn’t want to think about it, so he pulls his own menu up and hides his face, because he can’t quite handle how Sousuke and Makoto are sharing a single menu, and splitting entrees.  Rin must be reading the situation wrong.

“What are you getting, RinRin?” Makoto asks, and Rin swears this is Makoto’s brand of vengeance, and he is getting revenge for Rin forcing him to swim the timed races. 

Sousuke, giving Rin the most incredibly smug look he can, also asks, “Yeah, what are you getting, _RinRin_?”

“Stop calling me that,” Rin says and tries to kick Sousuke under the table, aiming right for his shin.  Rin has the decency to look apologetic when it is Makoto who jumps and sucks in a pained breath instead of Sousuke. 

“Ow, Rin, what was that for?” Makoto asks, and yes, kicking Makoto is as awful as kicking a puppy.

Rin’s horrified expression as he apologizes profusely to Makoto must hit Sousuke right in the funny bone, because Sousuke laughs so suddenly and violently that he snorts. 

“Sousuke, it wasn’t funny.  It hurt,” Makoto tells his boothmate.  Rin is still apologizing to him, so Makoto adds a quick, “It’s fine, Rin, really, I’m fine.”

This is how their waitress finds them—Rin apologizing as if he has murdered one of Makoto’s siblings, Sousuke laughing like an idiot, and Makoto trying to shush them both.

“I’ll give you another minute or two,” she says as she carefully walks backwards away from the booth, a somewhat alarmed expression on her face.

Makoto, noticing their poor waitress’s distress, leans in and lowers his voice.  “You two stop it.  I like this place a lot, and if you get us kicked out, so help me,” Makoto says in that low, serious voice he saves for moments when the twins act out, or his friends completely lose control of themselves.

“Oh no, we made Makoto mad,” Sousuke says through what can only be described as terrifying man giggles. 

Makoto turns his head so he can level Sousuke with the closest thing to a glare that Makoto can muster, though the look he produces comes across more like a constipated kitten than a glare. 

“Oh god, stop.  I can’t take it,” Sousuke says as he tips his head back against the booth and clutches his sides.  He is laughing so hard that the booth is literally shaking.

Makoto decides that if threats won’t work, perhaps physical retaliation will.  He tries to elbow Sousuke in the ribs, but thanks to Sousuke holding his sides from laughing, the blow glances off Sousuke’s arm and hits Sousuke squarely in the chest.

Rin can’t help himself.  It looks hilarious.  “You just hit him in the boob,” Rin says, trying to bite back a laugh, but can’t.  This is too much.  Sousuke and Makoto’s playful fighting, Sousuke’s unbridled laughter, and the way this all feels so perfect. 

“Ow, my boob,” Sousuke fake complains, cupping the right side of his chest in mock-pain.

This is, of course, when the waitress decides to reappear.  At least Makoto is able to convince her to take their orders before she runs off again, probably to tell her coworkers about the crazy swimmers in booth eight that are hitting each other in their man-boobs and laughing like lunatics.

\-----------------------

Sousuke has a lot of homework, and Rin and Makoto don’t have any, so they let Sousuke have the apartment to himself.  Makoto and Rin decide to spend the evening watching a movie at Makoto’s apartment.  Though the study is nice, Sousuke’s concentration doesn’t fare well with excessive noise, and he likes movies. Sousuke will undoubtedly be unable to resist the draw of a good action flick if Makoto and Rin watch it in Rin’s apartment.  Not to mention, Makoto’s couch is really comfortable, as Rin discovered the night he, Makoto, Sousuke, and Haru watched the movie together. 

It was also the night Haru confided in them about the autism thing.

Before Makoto pops in the DVD, Rin decides to ask him about Haru.  “Hey,” Rin says, pulling Makoto down by the arm onto the couch beside him.  Makoto looks a little confused, but allows it.  “How are things going between you and Haru?  You got together this last weekend, right?”

Makoto’s face suddenly goes serious, his brows bunching together.  “Yeah, we did.  It went okay.”

Makoto doesn’t elaborate, so Rin is left to figure out the right questions to ask.  “Are you two getting along?”

Makoto nods, but he also clasps his hands together and wrings his fingers nervously.  He doesn’t look at Rin at all.  “It’s just like it always is.  We hung out, went to the ramen place for dinner, and then I went home.”

“You didn’t discuss the night he talked to us?” Rin asks, genuinely confused why Haru would admit something like that and then not talk about it again.  Haru hasn’t said a word to Rin either.

Makoto seems to look even more uncomfortable, and Rin isn’t sure how to approach this topic.  He has been pushing Makoto so much lately, and Rin is leery of forcing Makoto to resolve this thing with Haru, so the two of them sit in silence. 

“Rin, do you think I’m a bad friend?” Makoto finally asks.

Rin can tell that Makoto is in that place where he doubts everything, and if Rin is being honest, he’s a little lost in there too right now.  The one thing Rin is sure of is that Makoto is not a bad friend.  Nothing could convince Rin that Makoto has anything less than the best of intentions in regards to his friendships. 

Rin reaches over and puts his hand on Makoto’s forearm, trying to comfort him when he sees how dejected Makoto looks.  Haru is such a raw wound for him, and Rin isn’t sure why.  The two of them have been friends since Makoto was born, but Rin feels like there is so much more to this story that Makoto isn’t telling him.  And really, there isn’t much Rin can do with so little information.

Rin realizes that he never answered Makoto’s question.  “Makoto,” he starts, not sure how to explain all the ways that Makoto is a great friend, “I want you to know that you _are_ a good friend.  When I came back to Japan from Australia the first time, I was so sure I’d never swim again.  But then you sent me texts.”

Makoto gives a humorless chuckle.  “Oh, so you did get those. You never responded.”

“They helped a lot.  It was a time when I really needed help.”  Rin takes a breath and tries to calm himself, because it is still hard to dig up the memories of his second year of high school. 

It hurt so damn much to come back defeated.  Rin’s head had been in a really bad place back then, and without Makoto, Haru, Nagisa, and even Rei… Rin doesn’t want to think about it.  He isn’t sure what he would have done or where he would be right now if not for them.

“I needed a friend, and you were that friend, Makoto.  I’m not the kind of person to reach out for help,” Rin tells him.

Makoto nods, “I know, that’s why I texted you.  That night in the old swim club when we came to get the trophy, you seemed so hollow.  I was worried.”

Rin bites back the wave of emotion that wraps itself around his heart and squeezes, because no one knows.  No one has a clue how worried they should have been.  Rin had been so ashamed of his failure, so hurt that he had to give up on his dream.  He didn’t know it was just a bump in his journey, not the end of it.  At the time, it had felt so final, like there was no way he could possibly keep swimming.

_( **Makoto** : Rin, we’re starting a swim club.) _

Rin had wanted to reply to that text so many times, but he never had the words.  Rin desperately wanted to swim with his friends again, but he also wanted to never swim again at all.  Rin decided to compromise with himself and casually join Samezuka’s swim club, and then everything still went to shit.  He let his anger take over, he was prideful when he won, worse when he lost, and all Rin wanted to do the entire time was share the experience with the friends he missed so much.  How dare they have each other when Rin had no one?  At least, that’s how he felt then.

Makoto shifts on the couch, and the movement startles Rin out of his thoughts.  Rin’s fingers slip from Makoto’s forearm as Makoto’s hands lift upward.  Makoto’s fingers are shaking as they cup Rin’s face, finding purchase under his jaw, around his cheek, just next to his ear.  Makoto holds Rin securely in place.

It takes a moment for Rin to realize what’s happening as Makoto slowly leans in and presses his mouth to Rin’s mouth.  It is so sweet and light, and Rin has been kissed before, but he has never been kissed like this.  Moreso, kissing someone has never _felt_ like this.

Rin leans in, meets Makoto, pushes into the kiss, but Makoto pulls back very slightly and keeps it soft and barely there.  Rin melts against it, letting Makoto lead, trusting Makoto with the control.  Makoto makes a quiet humming sound and breaks away for just a moment before pressing another kiss gently to Rin’s lips, and then again.  Makoto ends by leaning his forehead against Rin’s forehead, and stroking the skin of Rin’s cheek with one of his thumbs. 

“Don’t ever look that sad again, Rin,” Makoto whispers, and they are still so close to each other that Rin can feel the movement of Makoto’s lips as he says the words. 

Rin leans in just enough to kiss Makoto again, because hearing that hurts.  Rin hates how overwhelming his distress was, but he also worries about this joy that replaces it.  Rin has unearthed the very worst of himself tonight, and he doesn’t like that Makoto noticed.  He has to distract himself from the pain somehow.

Makoto obliges him, letting Rin lead this second round of kisses, but Rin doesn’t try to rush or push or do anything other than share himself with Makoto this time.  Similar to Makoto’s kisses, Rin doesn’t take, he only gives.  They are light and sweet, almost touching and always touching all at once.  He takes Makoto’s breath and gives his own, and it feels good and right. 

They break away from each other, breathing harder now, but Rin feels more grounded than before.  Makoto releases Rin, dropping his hands from Rin’s face.  Rin immediately reaches over and takes one of Makoto’s hands in his own, not ready to let Makoto go completely.  Rin needs this lifeline; he feels like he can’t be steady without it right now.

Makoto looks away and finds some point on the far wall to focus on instead of Rin.  “You were my first crush,” Makoto confesses and Rin notices how Makoto’s face flushes hotly at this admission.  “I hadn’t really understood why I felt the way I did in elementary school, and then you came, and I figured it out.  I liked boys.  I had a crush on a boy.  I’m not very good with secrets, but I kept that one.”

Rin feels like he should share something too, because Makoto is such a private person.  Makoto may not keep secrets, but he isn’t the open book Rin is.  The fact that Makoto disclosed something he has kept hidden for so long is very telling.

This shit really _is_ embarrassing, but Rin knows what he should share.  Rin has no doubt that he is just as red as Makoto.  “I didn’t realize I liked guys until last year.  One of my roommate’s friends kissed me.  I think it was hard to admit to myself that I’m bi.”

Rin wonders if it is strange to take so long to figure out your own sexuality, but he supposes that he was preoccupied with other things for much of his high school career.  Rin only kissed one girl in high school, and it had possibly been the most spectacularly awful kiss in all of existence.  Rin apologized to her for it, but she still never spoke to him again afterwards, and it wasn’t until college that he kissed someone else.  In high school, Rin threw himself into swimming and leading the Samezuka team, and before that it was Australia and wallowing in his depression and failure. 

“Still want to watch the movie?” Makoto asks Rin, and Rin nods.  He could use the distraction if he is being honest. 

Makoto stands and puts the disc in and returns to the couch.  He comes back and reclaims the spot next to Rin.  Rin likes it when Makoto leans against him, pressing his side securely against Rin’s.  Makoto reaches for Rin’s hand again and his fingers entangle themselves in Rin’s fingers.

The movie starts, and as much as this seems right, it also feels like something is missing.  Rin pushes the feeling aside, because this is enough for now, he doesn’t need to complicate things further by worrying.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 6. I hope you enjoyed it. I know it is a lot of MakoRin, but there is SouMako and SouRin coming in the next couple of chapters. I'm not sure when the next update will be, because I have a couple of busy weeks coming up. I have the next chapter outlined. Rin messed up how he was supposed to kiss Makoto, and therefore I had to change the plot for the next three chapters, but I sat down last night and it worked itself out in my head, so we're good again


	7. Everything is Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has mentions of blood and a small wound. For those who might be bothered by this, I thought I'd give you a heads up, because the last 2000 words of the chapter deal primarily with that.

Somewhere near the halfway point in the movie Rin starts to nod off.  His head jerks up once, and he hears Makoto chuckle, the ass.  Rin is about to snark at him, but Makoto lets go of Rin’s hand—yes, they were still holding hands, dammit—and lifts his arm to make a spot for Rin.  Rin blinks, his drowsiness getting the better of him, and then he leans over and finds a comfortable position under the crook of Makoto’s arm, his head pressed against the firmness of Makoto’s chest.  Makoto lays his arm across the back of Rin’s shoulders, securing him in place.  Rin doesn’t even have the chance to feel embarrassed about their sappy cuddling before he yawns and drifts back to sleep. 

Rin wakes a second time to find the credits rolling, and he feels a little bad since this movie was his pick, but he forgets about it when Makoto shifts and presses his mouth to Rin’s again.  It is warm, soft, and chaste, and even though Rin’s head is fuzzy with sleep, he tries his best to urge Makoto to take this kiss deeper.

Makoto still pulls away and makes a sound that resembles a disappointed hum.  Rin wants to echo it.  Makoto’s lips press against Rin’s forehead and he says quietly, “I need to talk to you about something.”

Rin, tired and comfortable, and brain desperate to do one or two things—sleep or kiss Makoto—responds with a quiet groan.  “Can we talk tomorrow?  Too tired.”

Makoto shifts slightly, but doesn’t answer, and then, he lets out a little sigh, “Maybe, it’s important.” 

“Too tired for important,” Rin murmurs, laying his head back against Makoto’s chest again.

Makoto gently rouses Rin, and when Rin protests, Makoto pulls back and cups Rin’s face, brushing strands of wayward hair behind Rin’s ears.  “Well, you should go home and get some sleep then.  I’ll be over in the morning,” and then Makoto kisses him again, and Rin could get used to this, but the kissing stops and Makoto untangles himself from Rin to stand.

Makoto offers Rin a hand and helps him off of the couch.  Rin grumbles, because really, he could have probably stayed wrapped up with Makoto all night on the couch, and that realization makes Rin flush. 

“I’ll walk you home,” Makoto says, and grabs his jacket and apartment keys. 

Rin wonders what Makoto would think of him if he told Makoto that he didn’t want to go home, but honestly, that would be taking things way too fast, wouldn’t it?  It’s just that Rin has never had this kind of familiarity or comfort with a partner before. 

It isn’t like Rin has much experience with anything, because Rin realized very quickly in Australia that he is more reserved than most people when it came to casual flings.  His roommate and his teammates always teased Rin for being a hopeless romantic whenever Rin rejected their urges for him to find a booty call. 

It might also have something to do with Rin’s attempt to not hurt or use people in his life, even those he doesn’t know well.  After lashing out and imparting his pain on the people he loved in high school, Rin is sensitive to how he treats others.  He refuses to be that person he was when he came home from Australia ever again.  For Rin’s own sanity, he just can’t.

“Rin?” Makoto asks, his voice soft and low.  It breaks Rin out of his thoughts, and Makoto smiles at him.  “Ready to go?”

Rin nods and walks to the entranceway to slip on his sandals.  Before opening the door, Makoto steals one last kiss from Rin, and he looks rather pleased about it.  Not that Rin is complaining, because Makoto can kiss Rin as much as he’d like, and Rin will let him, probably even encourage it.

They take the short walk down the balcony slowly.  Rin unlocks the door to his own apartment and announces he is home, Makoto also announces he is coming in.  The two of them find Sousuke seated at the table in the living area, books spread out in front of him. 

“There is a study,” Rin says as he stifles a yawn into his hand. 

“There is a bedroom,” Sousuke retorts, because he notices how Rin is barely awake on his feet.  “Go sleep.  You get cranky if you don’t get enough.”

“Yes, mother,” Rin teases, as the two of them are wont to do.  Sousuke adds a shove for good measure and Rin makes it all the way to the doorway of his bedroom before Makoto’s voice stops him.

“Goodnight, Rin,” Makoto tells him, and it makes Rin blush, because the words practically drip with fondness.

Rin glances at Sousuke and is certain Sousuke can tell there is something different between Rin and Makoto.  And shit, Rin hasn’t even considered Sousuke, because what if Sousuke doesn’t take kindly to Rin’s sexuality, or dating their friend, or... Rin knows he needs sleep.  His mind is too tired to figure this out rationally, and Makoto, despite his affectionate sendoff, isn’t really doing anything overt that might clue Sousuke in.

“You sticking around?” Rin asks Makoto, yawning again, his body trying mightily to urge him to close the door and crawl into bed.

“Yeah,” Makoto says and motions toward Sousuke, “I remember this material, so I can help Sousuke study.  I’m not nearly as tired as a certain person I know,” and Makoto gives Rin a playful wink. 

Rin tries to breathe, but can’t, because Makoto, that absolutely beautiful man, winked at him.  “I’m going to sleep,” Rin huffs and practically slams the door behind him.  It’s the only thing he can think of to keep himself from marching right over to Makoto and kissing him silly.  Rin can hear Sousuke and Makoto laughing in the living room, and Rin promises to get retribution tomorrow, as soon as he can keep his eyelids at something above half-mast. 

\----------------------

Rin wakes later in the night, and he glances at Sousuke’s alarm clock to see the time.  04:14—a little more than an hour before Rin normally gets up.  Sousuke is in bed, making quiet snoring sounds between his deep, even breaths.  Rin tries to shut his eyes and force himself back to sleep, but there is a ball of emotion roiling around in his gut.  Rin’s mind, recognizing wakefulness, decides that _now_ is the time to ponder over all the previous night’s events. 

Makoto, someone Rin considers one of his most precious friends, kissed him last night.  Rin knows he should probably be cautious when starting something with a friend, but the only thing he can feel right now is elation, because it’s _Makoto_.  Long ago, Rin suspected Makoto might have had a thing for Haru, but other than that, Rin has never really gotten the vibe that Makoto might be interested in men.  Then again, in high school Rin didn’t really let himself entertain that part of his own sexuality.  Other than a few odd nights when Rin jerked off after reading one of his muscle magazines, men didn’t really play much into Rin’s sexual equation back then.

Sousuke snorts and shifts in his bed and Rin instinctively freezes, but Sousuke turns onto his back and settles into sleep right away.  Rin has to roll his eyes at himself, because it isn’t like he and Sousuke were Haru and Makoto.  There is no weird telepathy between Sousuke and Rin, and therefore, Sousuke cannot hear Rin’s very loud, very present, gay thoughts at the moment. 

But still, what if Sousuke rejects Rin and this new aspect of Rin?  What if it damages their friendship?  Rin, being bisexual, didn’t want to bring it up until it was an issue worth mentioning, but now it is definitely is. 

 _Hey Sousuke, just wanted you to know that two of your closest friends are sucking face with each other, and it might devolve into more lewd acts from there, hope you don’t mind._   Rin sighs at himself, because honestly, Rin knows he is being ridiculous.

Then there is that other thing—that thing Rin has been trying to bury since he got here, and surrounded himself with all things Sousuke.  Rin hasn’t even really admitted it to himself, that Sousuke…

Sousuke snorts again, and says something that distinctly sounds like “Pizza,” before kicking the blanket off of his legs and going still again.

What eloquence, Rin muses, trying not to laugh out loud, because the last thing he needs is Sousuke conscious right now.  Not that Rin could wake Sousuke with a few quiet chuckles.  Sousuke is a fairly light sleeper until about 2am, and then he falls into a deep sleep that a pit of bears probably couldn’t wake him from.

Rin knows that he is going to have to tell Sousuke, because it isn’t like Rin and Makoto can hide their relationship from him forever.  Relationship.  Rin turns the word around in his head, because assuming he and Makoto are in a relationship is kind of presumptuous, isn’t it?  Rin can’t see Makoto being the casual type, and Makoto did say Rin was his first crush.  That has to mean something, right?  Damn it, if Rin hadn’t fallen asleep, hadn’t been so tired, they could have discussed it, and Makoto had wanted to talk about something.

Rin flips over in his bed, unable to get comfortable.  He knows there is no way he is going back to sleep now, so he pushes his blanket off and quietly makes his way into the kitchen to make himself some tea.  When Rin gets there he sees the tiny jar that Sousuke put the remaining coffee in and grumbles.  Fuck it, today is a coffee kind of day.  Rin fills the kettle with water and puts it on the stove to boil, and then he pulls Sousuke’s French press out of the cupboard. 

Rin pours himself a full mug of coffee and takes it to the chair in the living room with him, careful not to spill it.  He sits and tries to mull over his thoughts, but there are too many, and it is all too jumbled.  Rin’s mouth goes dry remembering Makoto’s kisses, but his stomach clenches at the thought of Sousuke.  Rin knows he needs to be honest with himself, needs to be honest about how he feels about his best friend.  This, of course, makes Rin feel horribly guilty, because Makoto is his friend too, and Makoto is the one who kissed him, and it isn’t like Sousuke would be interested in Rin like that anyway. 

Rin pauses, because that realization hurts.  Did he really want Sousuke to be interested in him like that?  Rin lets himself _really_ consider this now, and doesn’t try to contain the feelings he usually hides by shoving them down inside until he barely knows they are there.  Rin has no doubt that he loves his best friend, but does he love his best friend like _that_?  The memory of Rin and Sousuke sitting together on his bed rises to the surface.  Rin remembers the affection he felt for Sousuke that night, and the how Sousuke didn’t flinch away from Rin. 

Rin hears his phone alarm go off in the bedroom; it is quiet and not enough to fully wake Sousuke, but definitely enough to annoy him.  Rin stands and places his coffee on the table and goes to get changed into his running clothes.  He’ll have to figure out the rest of it later.

Usually, Makoto comes over and knocks softly on Rin’s door in the morning, but today Rin decides to fetch Makoto.  Rin steps outside, the sun isn’t up yet, but there is a glow along the horizon, and the birds are just starting to sing and call to one another.  Rin knocks on Makoto’s door and waits. 

Rin hears Makoto call, “Coming” from the other side of the door, and the telltale click of the lock and chain being undone follows.  “Good morning, Rin,” Makoto says, his smile even more brilliant than usual. 

Rin, brave with so many things, is not brave about this, but after he steps into the entrance of Makoto’s apartment, he leans in and grabs a handful of Makoto’s shirt to pull him down.  Rin kisses Makoto eagerly.  This is Rin’s way of seeking assurance that this thing between him and Makoto is real.  Rin feels Makoto smile against his lips, and then Makoto takes a step forward, removing all space between them and cups Rin’s face. 

This kiss, it is warm and soft and careful, but Makoto’s tongue is in Rin’s mouth and it slides along Rin’s tongue.  What should be frantic and harried is slow, and Makoto treats Rin like he is something precious.  Makoto pulls away and Rin covers up the sound—which is definitely not a whimper, like hell it is a whimper—by clearing his throat. 

“Good morning to you too,” Rin says against Makoto’s lips. 

“You taste like coffee,” Makoto teases, and laughs softly.  “I thought you were giving that up.”

“Don’t lecture me about my vices.  I know about your hoard of pocky,” Rin warns, and lifts a judgmental brow at Makoto, because really, pocky?

“Hmmm, perhaps we should get going, or we’ll be late for breakfast.  Sousuke wouldn’t be very happy with that, would he?”  Makoto asks, obviously trying to change subjects as he sits to put on his running shoes. 

 _Sousuke_.  Rin feels the knot in the pit of his stomach again.  Sousuke shouldn’t be an issue, and Rin feels so damn guilty, because he can’t honestly deny that Sousuke isn’t.

“And also, I need to talk to you while we run, so if you could hold back your inner Olympian for one day to keep pace with the common folks, I’d appreciate it,” Makoto says as he stands to grab the apartment key that is strung on a lanyard and hung from a hook by the door. 

Rin just nods, because perhaps he should take this opportunity to talk to Makoto about Sousuke too.  Running has always cleared Rin’s head, so it is probably a good time to do it.  Makoto and Rin step out and Makoto locks his apartment.  The two start down the stairs at the end of the balcony.  They make it down to the first level when Rin notices there is someone sitting on the bottom step facing out toward the street.   Since it is still dark, it is difficult to make them out, but Makoto seems to recognize the person right away, even from the back of their head.

“Haru?” he says as he rushes down the remaining steps.  “Haru, what are you doing here?  Is everything okay?”

The person on the steps stands up and turns toward them, and Rin can see that it is indeed Haru.  Something isn’t right, even Rin can tell.  It isn’t like most times when Makoto is needed to interpret whatever mood Haru has gotten himself into. 

Haru actually sounds angry when he approaches Makoto, not angry like most people, but there is a distinct irritation in his tone of voice.  “You didn’t tell me,” he says, and Haru steps into Makoto’s personal space, and then repeats, “You didn’t tell me.”

“Didn’t tell you?  What didn’t I tell you, Haru?” Makoto asks, confused, and he mirrors the hurt Haru radiates.

“You’re swimming again.  You made it onto the team.  You’re swimming and you didn’t tell me,” Haru says, his voice cracking, the anger even more apparent than the first time he made the accusation.

“It wasn’t…I didn’t…” Makoto stumbles over his words, and everything he says seems to upset Haru more.  “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do it.  It wasn’t a definite thing yet.”

“You should have told me,” Haru says, and he pulls his fingers in together to form two tight fists.  Haru doesn’t use these fists against Makoto, and instead, holds them close to his body.  Rin sees how Haru practically trembles with the unspent anger.  “Gou told me.  Why did I have to hear about it from Gou?”

“I was going to tell you…”

“But you didn’t.  Gou did,” Haru interrupts Makoto, and for a second, Rin thinks that Haru might punch Makoto, but the anger leeches out of him at the last second, and it turns into something even more damaging.  The expression of hurt and betrayal on Haru’s face is something Rin has never seen before. 

Rin glances over at Makoto and wishes that Haru had just punched him.  Makoto is the type of person who always feels too much and holds it in.  Makoto’s intuitive nature when it comes to emotions means that Haru wounded him in the very worst way.  Makoto looks absolutely devastated, and honestly, it is over something as stupid as Makoto not telling Haru he is swimming again.

Rin, not exactly the most tactful person, decides that this has gone too far for something this stupid.  “Hey,” he says, and steps in-between Makoto and Haru.  “Hey,” he says softer, and tries to be sensitive enough to not be a complete jackass.  He puts a hand on Haru’s shoulder and Haru immediately brushes it off.

“Don’t blame him,” Rin says, and puts his hand right back on Haru.  Haru’s weird thing with touch and whatnot be damned, this is not a time when Haru should retreat back inside himself.  “This swimming thing is my fault, not his.”

Haru is silent, but he tries to shrug Rin off again.  At least Haru looks less hurt and more irritated, and somehow Rin finds this to be a success of sorts. 

“Hey,” Rin tries again, his other hand going to Haru’s other shoulder, and Haru is still having none of it.

“Let go,” Haru mumbles, but he doesn’t struggle too much, he doesn’t dislodge Rin from his shoulders.

“No,” Rin says, voice firm, because he is really not in the mood for Haru’s shit.

Haru stills, and Rin thinks that he is going to finally calm down, but Haru focuses his gaze at the cement below their feet and says, “I asked him to.  I asked Makoto to swim again because he missed it, but he refused.  I asked him, Rin.”

And there it is—the real reason why Haru is upset.  Rin is so out of his element now, and this time he has really stepped in it.  Haru tries to shrug Rin off again, and this time Rin lets him. 

“I was going to tell you this weekend, Haru,” Makoto tries weakly.  “I was going to surprise you.”

There is a coldness in Haru’s gaze as he looks directly at Makoto and says, “Do what you want,” and then walks away.

Rin stands next to Makoto for a few moments as they watch Haru walk, and then Rin snaps out of it.  “Oh hell no,” he grumbles and then shoves Makoto toward Haru.  “Go talk to him,” he says.

Makoto glances toward Haru’s retreating figure and then at Rin.  “I don’t want to upset him,” Makoto tries.

“He is already upset,” Rin says, irritated by how these two could be inside each other’s heads so often, yet still so dense whenever they fought.  If Rin and Sousuke were like that, their friendship would have ended back in elementary school.  Rin pushes Makoto in Haru’s direction again, and tells Makoto in the most authoritative captain’s voice he can muster, “Go talk to Haru.”

Makoto waffles for just a moment, looking torn about what to do, before he takes one step toward Haru, and then another.  Then, Makoto runs and catches Haru just as he is about to go around the corner of the building toward the direction of the train station. 

It is still dim out, but the sun is finally starting to rise, so Rin watches as Haru and Makoto do this little dance with one another.  Makoto puts a hand on Haru’s shoulder to stop him, and Haru swings around and pushes the hand away.  Rin can see Makoto lean in, pleading with Haru, and Haru crosses his arms and starts walking again, but Makoto follows.  Rin wants to follow too, but he knows he has to let the two of them work this out alone. 

Rin grumbles and kicks at the cement with his shoe just before he lets out a loud curse of, “Shit,” before taking off in the opposite direction toward the park. 

Rin knows if he sticks around he will follow Makoto and Haru, and it isn’t his business.  He’ll be there for Makoto or Haru, or both, when the two of them are done with this squabble, but he can’t put himself in the middle again.  However, if Makoto comes back and tells him this is their “second” fight ever, Rin might lose it.  Sometimes you just have to argue with the people you love to get the bad feelings out.  If you don’t, those feelings eat you alive. 

Without Makoto by his side, Rin pushes himself hard.  He wants to feel pain with this run; he wants his body to make this frustration go away.  Rin just wants to talk to Makoto about their issues, but now Haru is going to take priority, and who knows how long it will be before Rin can bring up this… _this_ —this thing, this relationship, this feeling, _this._

Rin does three continuous laps on the hilly route in the park, and each feels better than the last.  Rin has to force himself to take a lap around the flat route, because he doesn’t need to push himself to the point of injury, and as hard as he is going, that might be what happens if he keeps to the hilly route.  Rin takes another lap around flat path, and then glances at his watch.  He has to get back to the apartment soon if he is going to have time for a shower and breakfast.  Rin eases off his pace and takes the rest of the lap at a moderate jog, keeping with that as he makes his way back home.

When Rin gets there, Makoto is sitting on the bottom step, just like Haru had been.  There is almost always a smile of some sort on Makoto’s face, but right now it just appears void of emotion.  There isn’t anger, worry, happiness, or anything, just the lack of it. 

“Where’s Haru?” Rin asks, not knowing how to start this conversation.

“He had class.  He had to go,” Makoto murmurs, and Rin takes a seat beside him on the step, and then reaches and wraps his fingers around Makoto’s hand.

Makoto, never physically demonstrative like Sousuke or Rin, squeezes Rin’s hand, and then leans over and puts his head on Rin’s shoulder.  Rin tries not to think about how sweaty he is from his run, because Makoto doesn’t seem to mind, just like he doesn’t seem to mind this open display of affection.  Rin knows that many of their neighbors will start coming out of their apartments soon, on their way to work or class, so he turns to Makoto and says, “Sousuke probably has breakfast ready.”

“Mmm,” Makoto agrees and lets Rin’s hand go and stands. 

As the two of them walk up the stairs to Rin’s apartment, Makoto stays quiet.  When they reach Rin’s door, Rin stops, wondering if he should do something more.  What should he do in a situation like this?   

In the end, Rin decides to step toward Makoto and he touches his friend—his boyfriends?—cheek.  “You’ll be okay.  You and Haru are going to be okay, Makoto.”

It worries Rin when the only response he gets from Makoto is a half-hearted, “Yeah,” before Makoto steps back and waits for Rin to open the door.

Today really is shit though, because the two of them don’t find a nice home-cooked breakfast when they enter, but rather darkness and silence.  Rin discovers the cause of the problem is a snoring Sousuke and his broken alarm clock, which is on the floor in pieces, probably from its devastating fall to the floor that Sousuke no doubt aided it in. 

“Wake up,” Rin says, and he kicks Sousuke’s prone form in the butt.  Of all days to break his alarm clock and sleep through the alarm.  Today is not the day for teasing and roughhousing though, so Rin just flips back Sousuke’s covers and shakes him until Sousuke makes several rather rude remarks.

“You broke your damn alarm,” Rin says as he strips off his running clothes, all the way down to his boxers. 

Sousuke is sitting half-awake at the edge of his bed, not conscious enough for conversation yet when Rin steps over to the dresser to grab the towel he always lays out the night before to use after his runs, but then Rin remembers he came home and went right to sleep instead of following his normal routine last night.  Shit. 

“I need a towel,” Rin says, because he can hear Makoto in the kitchen digging around and trying to help them get back on track by starting breakfast.  Gods, help them, Makoto is going to try and cook.  “Go help him,” Rin pleads, knowing that Makoto might burn down their apartment if left to his own devices.

Sousuke just blinks and glares, “Let me wake up first.  What the hell crawled up your ass today?”

Rin huffs, and steps over to Sousuke, ready to give his friend a piece of his mind (and probably wrongfully let out some of his frustration and anger over Haru and his stupid fight with Makoto, and how Rin wasn’t able to talk to Makoto about their…relationship or whatever it is), but Rin’s bare foot steps down just right on a sharp piece of plastic that was once part of that damned alarm clock and had likely busted off in the fall.

“Oh fucking hell,” Rin yelps, and jumps back, trying to ignore the pain shooting through his foot.  “Oh fucking hell,” he repeats when he realizes that the centimeter long piece of plastic is actually still lodged in the fleshy arch of his foot and bleeding profusely. 

It takes three seconds for Makoto to show up in the doorway of the bedroom, and Sousuke is on his feet now.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Rin says as he pulls the plastic shard out, and dammit, it hurts like hell.

“Rin, you’re bleeding,” Makoto wails and he frantically rushes off to the bathroom, probably to look for the first aid kit.

“Shit, Rin, I’m sorry,” Sousuke says as he helps Rin sit down on the bed.  Sousuke crouches beside Rin and examines the wound.  “This looks pretty deep.”

Rin tries not to look at his foot and flops back onto the mattress instead.  Rin feels woozy. In general, the sight of blood doesn’t make Rin feel sick, but he doesn’t handle seeing blood coming out of his own body very well.  Back in high school, Rin went fishing with Makoto and Haru a few weeks after their relay stunt during their second year, and Rin had sliced his hand open with the switch blade he was using to cut a hook out of a fish.  Rin had promptly looked at the blood streaming down his arm and passed out.  For the longest time Rin didn’t think he could pursue medicine, because he assumed he was like that with any blood; but when Sousuke took a tumble on a skateboard and practically brained himself on a railing the following year, the gushing head wound didn’t even make Rin blink. 

Makoto brings the first aid kit into the room, and he drops down next to Sousuke.  “This looks pretty bad,” Makoto says, and just like Sousuke he mentions, “It’s pretty deep, but he also sliced it open.”

Rin tries to swallow down the bile his stomach is threatening to throw up.  “Please don’t talk about it anymore.  Just patch me up.”

“You might need to see a doctor,” Makoto says, gently holding Rin’s leg as he wipes the blood off of Rin’s foot.  He cleans the wound and then applies clean gauze to it with enough pressure that Rin flinches.

Sousuke pokes Rin’s leg, teasing him or some shit, as he says, “Coach is gonna be mad at you." Rin turns his head and sees the stupid grin Sousuke is wearing, but Rin knows Sousuke is probably trying to help take Rin’s mind off of things. 

“This is your fault, you asshole.  If you’d just wake up like a normal human being, and didn’t shatter your shitty alarm clock all over our floor, I wouldn’t be hurt,” Rin complains and winces as Makoto puts a little more pressure on the wound. 

“I need to grab some more gauze from the bathroom,” Makoto says, and passes Rin’s injured leg to Sousuke.  Sousuke presses the heel of his hand against the bloody gauze, but when Rin tenses, Sousuke cups his other hand under Rin’s calf and massages it gently, trying to get Rin to relax. 

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble,” Sousuke murmurs.  “This is the first time it’s ever injured someone other than me.” 

Sousuke is referring to the time back in Samezuka when Rin hid his alarm clock across the room to try and help Sousuke get up easier; and Sousuke, half asleep, fell straight out of the top bunk searching for it.  After that, Rin and Sousuke agreed, that as annoying as having Sousuke hit snooze four or more times was, having him almost break his neck falling out of bed was worse.

Makoto returns with new gauze and Sousuke pulls the used gauze away.  Makoto makes a displeased sound as he examines Rin’s foot.  “I don’t know what else to do.” 

“Look it up online,” Sousuke says, “Because hell if I know what to do either.”

Makoto pulls his phone out of his pocket and clicks away for a few moments.  “Oh!” he says excitedly, “We’re supposed to let puncture wounds bleed for a few minutes.  It helps clean the wound out.”

Rin wants to tell Makoto to stop talking, but he just distracts himself with thoughts of how good Makoto looks in those slightly too tight track shorts instead.  Makoto is turned away from Rin and it is giving Rin the best view of Makoto’s backside.  Bless whatever deity shoved Makoto’s ass into those, because they did a good job. 

“Then we elevate the wound and apply pressure and stop the bleeding for fifteen minutes.  If it hasn’t mostly stopped, we should seek medical help,” Makoto reads from the screen.  “Okay, that seems easy enough.”

“So we just let him bleed?” Sousuke asks, pulling away the gauze.

Rin wants to say, _No, let’s not just let Rin bleed, let’s stop the bleeding_ , but Rin sighs and tries to ignore all of it.

Makoto nods at Sousuke and says, “Yes, just for a couple of minutes, as long as there isn’t too much blood loss, and I don’t think there is.”

Rin moans and scrubs the heels of his hands into his eyes in frustration, “Okay, okay, we get it.  Stop talking about it.”

Makoto sits on the bed beside Rin, and leans down, and brushes a rogue strand of hair off of Rin’s forehead.  In his best comforting voice, Makoto murmurs, “Shhh, Rin.  Everything is under control.  Don’t worry.  You’re going to be just fine.”

And honestly, there is something extremely soothing about Makoto whispering these assurances to him.  Part of Rin wants to lean up and kiss Makoto for being so damn sweet, but Sousuke is still on the floor in front of them, holding Rin’s leg and keeping a vigilant watch on Rin’s injury. 

Rin sighs, because now it just seems weird again.  Rin curses Haru for distracting Makoto away from their much needed conversation, because Rin can’t explain the situation to Sousuke until Rin talks about it with Makoto.  He needs to know what he can tell Sousuke.  He needs to know what the hell he and Makoto are to each other now.

“Makoto, go get a towel, please,” Sousuke asks, and Rin wonders if Sousuke caught the two of them making goo-goo eyes at each other, but Sousuke doesn’t indicate that he did.  Makoto rushes off and brings back a towel, and Sousuke places it on the bed on top of Rin’s pillow.  “Put your foot up here,” Sousuke says as he motions at the spot. 

When Rin does, he looks down his body for the first time since laying back on the bed.  Rin notices, much to his horror, that he is all but naked, save for his pair of shark boxers he bought last year as a joke at the Sydney Aquarium.  How the hell did Rin forget he was almost naked except for his embarrassing shark boxers?  Well, just when Rin thinks that none of this can possibly be more mortifying or awkward, the situation surprises him.

Sousuke wipes the wound down again with an antiseptic, and then pulls out a fresh pack of gauze.  “Here, let me,” Makoto says as he takes the gauze and presses it to Rin’s foot.  “It probably isn’t good for your shoulder to hold that position with pressure for so long.  Your shoulder was really tight when I massaged it last night.”

Things that should probably make Rin jealous, but don’t—the thought of his (to be verified) boyfriend massaging his rather attractive best friend.  Things that make Rin wish he wasn’t only wearing a worn pair of shark boxers—the thought of his (to be verified) boyfriend massaging his rather attractive best friend. 

When exactly does this hell end?

“I’ll go make some breakfast while you two…” and Sousuke makes some vague gesture at Rin’s foot and Makoto holding the gauze, and just leaves.  The door to the bedroom is still open though, so Rin doesn’t have the courage to talk to Makoto about their relationship, and it also feels like a conversation that one shouldn’t have if you are only wearing boxers, so Rin brings up the other issue instead.

“So, want to tell me what happened between you and Haru?”

Makoto looks up, brows scrunched together in confusion, almost like he forgot what happened between him and his best friend this morning.  Then, his expression draws tight into something both sad and serious, and Makoto shrugs. “I think I hurt his feelings.”

Yeah, Makoto had definitely done that.  Rin didn’t want Makoto to tell him the obvious though.  “So Haru asked you to swim again?”

Makoto sucks in a shaky breath and looks away from Rin.  “Yes, he did.  Last year.  It’s just that you and Haru competed in Rome, and I started working periodically with our University’s swim team, and I guess I was just being sentimental.”

Sentimental?  Rin knows a thing or two about being sentimental, and he also knows that Makoto isn’t the sentimental type.  Makoto, above all else, is a staunch realist.  It takes a dreamer shoving Makoto in directions he isn’t fully comfortable with to get Makoto to reach for almost anything.  Rin wonders who encouraged the idea of coaching with Makoto, and Rin definitely has his money on Coach Sasabe. 

“Haru was right, you know,” Rin says, and there is a flash of frustration on Makoto’s face before he takes a deep breath and sighs.

“I know that now,” Makoto says, “Or, I guess it’s going okay so far, but back then I didn’t think…” and Makoto doesn’t finish the sentence.

“You didn’t believe you were good enough.  Which, by the way, you obviously are,” Rin says, and he does it in that cocky, matter-of-fact way that drives most of his friends absolutely nuts. 

“We’ll see,” Makoto says.

“You are,” Rin repeats.

“Anyway, I wasn’t ready then, and I told him no.  I think he wanted to swim with me again, even if it was as competitors on opposing teams.”  Makoto shifts, and Rin winces as Makoto’s thumb presses right into the wound.  Makoto notices and lets up just a bit.  “Sorry, Rin.”

“Don’t mind that, keep talking.  Keep my mind off of it,” Rin pleads, because he needs the distraction, but he also needs the truth. 

“Haru was really mad this morning, I barely got him to stop and talk to me after we left.  He was halfway to the train station before he listened.  He only stopped when I told him that I was sorry, and that I wanted to swim with him too.  I also told him that we should sit down and talk…about everything, like you encouraged us to do.”

“Good,” Rin says, because he is glad repeating that fact over and over again to Makoto has finally gotten through to him.

“Rin,” Makoto says, and it is quiet, as if Makoto is unsure of what he is going to say.  Rin waits, because Makoto never appreciates being prodded in moments like these.  “I do want to swim with Haru again.  I want to swim again for myself.  Even if I’m not good enough to win.  Even if I never win.  I want to swim.”

And there it is.  _That_ is the truth that Makoto has kept hidden.  _That_ is why Haru is so mad.  Makoto isn’t the kind of person to take what he wants.  Makoto needs people to tell him it’s okay to dream.  Makoto needs to have the people in his life who push and encourage him. 

“We’ll do this.  You, me, Sousuke, Haru—we are going to swim, Makoto,” Rin says with the dopiest grin on his face, because hearing Makoto finally admit he wants to swim again makes Rin so damn happy.  He wants to tell Makoto, _this_ is what being sentimental is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter had to be split up, because originally, Rin wasn't supposed to injure himself. But the fanfiction gods gave me this present (which actually solves an later plot issue I was having trouble with), and so here I am, cutting it in half so that you don't have to wait for me to write another 7500 words before getting an update.
> 
> Just a warning, the next update might not come for a few weeks. I have two exchange/swap pieces to do, as well as a pile of real life crap that I need to focus on. I apologize, and will hopefully hold you over with smaller updates over in the SouMako side-fic thing. Which, if you weren't aware of it, does exist now. I decided to go with a collection of vignettes rather than a more traditional companion piece, and it is possible that they will not be in chronological order (though the three there so far are), but that allows me to do things like write that scene where Makoto massages Sousuke sooner rather than waaaaay later. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading. I appreciate it greatly. Thank you to all of the wonderful people I have met through comments. Thank you for letting me bore you to death with all my Free! feels. I am so glad to have made quite a few fandom friends because of this fic. I think my non-fandom friends will thank you for that as well, because now I won't just sit and spew my Free! feelings and headcanons on them, but on people who actually care about the characters that cause me to flail on the floor with too many feelings.


	8. Things Are Going Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! It has been an awfully long time, hasn’t it? Almost a year now, in fact. I’ve had a rough run the last year or so. I am attempting to get back into things I enjoy again, such as writing fanfiction. That is why I hope that you all like this chapter, and I want to thank each of you so much for sticking with me and this fic. I hope to have the next chapter out soon.

 

In the end, the bleeding doesn’t stop enough to make any of them comfortable.  Both Makoto and Sousuke insist on going with Rin to the doctor, and thanks to that, all three of them miss their morning classes.  Rin doesn’t exactly need assistance getting there because Makoto makes a quick round trip to the athletic building to borrow a pair of crutches from the trainers.  Rin is able to get around on them okay, so honestly, he shouldn’t require a couple of chauffeurs, but he finds comfort in how Makoto and Sousuke refuse to leave his side.

Rin doesn’t have a local doctor, so Makoto calls up the neighborhood clinic.  The receptionist says they can probably squeeze Rin in between patients, and that still beats having to go the emergency room.  Rin doesn’t feel that this is a true emergency.  However, to him personally--yes, emergency, _huge_ emergency. The inability to get the puncture wound to stop bleeding leaves Rin worried about the true severity of his injury.  Rin sighs; all of this from a stupid piece of plastic broken off of a cheap alarm clock.

In the waiting room, Rin is sandwiched between Sousuke, who is muttering under his breath, and Makoto, who fidgets so much that Rin begins to worry.  A steady stream of patients are called, and Rin wonders if he should head to the emergency room.  However, Dr. Toriyama’s nurse, a young woman only a few years older than Rin, steps out holding a tablet and calls for Matsuoka-san.

“That’s me,” Rin says as he fumbles with his crutches.  Sousuke lends Rin a hand and pulls him into a standing position, and Rin does his best to stay off of his aching foot.

Rin makes his way over to the door, which leads back to the examination rooms, and he waves off Makoto and Sousuke when they start to follow.  Both of them sit back down into their chairs and give Rin one last worried look as he limps through the door.  

The nurse takes Rin back to a small exam room.  After they enter, she motions to a table.  Rin hops up on it using his one good leg and steadies himself with his arms.  Rin tries to swallow his queasiness down, the unsettled feeling he has had since the beginning of this whole fiasco.  His mouth is dry as she picks up her tablet to make a few notations

The nurse takes his vitals and asks about the reason for Rin’s visit.  Rin does his best to explain the circumstances which led up to now, and the nurse nods and scribbles down a couple of things.  She lets him know the doctor will be in shortly.  On the way out, she quietly shuts the door behind her, leaving Rin in this stark, white room with only himself, his worries, and his injured foot.  He looks down and sees where blood is beginning to seep through the gauze.  Rin quickly decides to look elsewhere, anywhere else, in fact.

The doctor comes in after a few minutes and greets Rin.  He seems to be a pleasant man.  His warm smile immediately puts Rin at ease.  Rin scoots back on a table so the doctor can inspect his foot.  Dr. Toriyama looks concerned as he pokes and prods it, but eventually, he cleans the wound and also insists on giving Rin a tetanus shot.  

“There is some redness and also some slight swelling already, so I’m a little worried about infection,” the doctor tells Rin.  “I’m going to do a swab, and probably start you on a round of antibiotics.  You mentioned you are a swimmer, correct?”

Rin nods his head and tries not to look at his injury.  The last thing Rin needs to do is pass out and embarrass himself further.  Dr. Toriyama does the swab, cleans the wound one more time, and uses some kind of glue on it to close the wound, but Rin still feels uneasy when he glances at his bare foot.

“Well then, you are to stay out of the pool for a week.  Clean the site carefully with soap and water, but do not submerge it in the bath, pool, whirlpool, etc.  You should even wrap a waterproof bag around it in the shower.  Also, avoid putting pressure on your foot, as it could reopen the wound.  Those crutches will be your friend for the next week.  Understand?”

The doctor asks the question like he _knows_ Rin wants to ignore these orders.  Rin’s mind wheels at the thought of missing a whole week of practice.  What does that even mean for him?  Would the coach be okay with such a prolonged absence from the team?   How would the team itself take the news? Especially since Rin is the guy who just wandered in and took so many of the top spots on the competitive roster, and now, just as suddenly, is MIA from the pool for a whole week?

“A week?” Rin squeaks, feeling a little lightheaded.

“At least one week. You’ll need to come back and see me before I release you back to your regular regimen.  I want to see you sooner if you notice more pain or redness, or if the swelling worsens,” Dr. Toriyama says.  He hands his nurse the used swab kit and she walks out of the room to test it.  “My nurse will be back in with a list of care directions, and a script for antibiotics depending on the swab results. Take care of yourself Matsuoka-san.”

And with that, Dr. Toriyama gives Rin a soft pat on the shoulder and leaves the room. Rin is left speechless, head swimming with worry.  The nurse returns with a list of instructions and a script for the pharmacist, so there had been something there.  After that, Rin hobbles back out to the waiting room on his crutches to find Makoto and Sousuke both chatting, looking worried and pensive.  

“Hey,” Rin croaks out, getting their attention, and Makoto and Sousuke hurry to their feet.  

“What did he say?” Makoto asks.

At the same time, Sousuke asks, “Did he get the bleeding to stop?”

There is a tight ball of emotion stuck in Rin’s gut, and he doesn’t want to explain the situation.  He doesn’t want to tell Makoto and Sousuke that he’s banned from the pool for at least a week, or there might be signs of infection.  What happens if it is a serious infection?  Rin didn’t think to ask about that, his mind too busy obsessing about missed practices, and how mad coach is likely to be about that.

“The bleeding stopped, he cleaned it and glued it shut,” Rin pauses and swallows, then just pushes forward, knowing he always has had Makoto’s and Sousuke’s support.  “And I’ve been ordered to stay on crutches and not practice for a week.  There are signs an infection might be starting.”

Makoto’s brows rise in a panicked worry.  Sousuke, the exact opposite of Makoto, furrows his brows as his face contorts into a worried scowl.

“I’ll be fine,” Rin tries, but he isn’t convincing himself, let alone Sousuke and Makoto.  

Suddenly, there is the heavy, reassuring weight of an arm around Rin’s shoulders.  It’s Sousuke’s arm, because between Sousuke and Makoto, Sousuke is surprisingly more physically affectionate, at least in public

“You’ll be fine,” Sousuke says as he nods solemnly.  

Makoto smiles a slightly forced smile and parrots Sousuke by saying a soft, “You’ll be fine, RinRin,” adding the fond nickname as a quick afterthought.

 _I’ll be fine,_ Rin tells himself, and this time he even somewhat believes it.  There is something about Makoto’s warmth and Sousuke’s presence that makes it feel true.

 

* * *

 

  ** _Gou_ ** _: BIG BROTHER!  why didnt you call me?_

Rin looks at his phone and rolls his eyes at Gou’s dramatic response to the texts he sent her explaining his whole foot situation.  Rin had managed to calm himself down after returning to campus for afternoon classes, so now Gou’s overreaction seems almost comical.

 **_Gou_ ** _: also haruka says that he hopes your foot feels better_  
**_Rin_ ** _: Why the heck does Haru know?_ _  
_ **_Gou_ ** : _because we are having lunch together and I told him_

Rin considers asking if Haru seems upset at all.  Rin knows that he shouldn’t poke his nose into it, but the temptation is there. Rin also wants to ask why Haru is having lunch with Gou, but reconsiders when he remembers that he did tell Gou to keep an eye on Haru.  Maybe this is good.  After Haru’s fight with Makoto this morning, maybe instead of running off to Midori, Haru sought out Gou instead.  Still...Rin can’t seem to help himself as he sends Gou another text.

 **_Rin_ ** _: Is Haru acting normal? I mean...does he seem okay?_ _  
_ **_Gou_ ** _: you know he is reading my texts over my shoulder right?_

Rin’s phone buzzes and a second message pops up.

 **_Haru_ ** _: tell Makoto I’m fine_  
**_Rin_ ** _: tell him yourself_  
**_Haru_ ** _: I know you’re eating lunch together_ _  
_ **_Haru_ ** : _also tell him to stop having you spy for him_

Rin huffs and looks over at Makoto and Sousuke, who are seated on the grass across from him, sharing the trunk of a tall tree as a backrest.  Usually, Fridays are Rin’s favorite days because he gets to eat with both of them, but today has been such a disaster.  Rin can’t even muster a smile as he watches Sousuke share a bit of his bento with Makoto.  Makoto sighs happily as he pops it into his mouth and seems to melt from the taste.  Rin isn’t spying for Makoto.  Makoto doesn’t even know Rin is texting Gou and Haru.

 **_Rin_ ** _: I’ll have you know that he has nothing to do with me asking about you_

There is a long pause before Rin gets another message.

 **_Haru_ ** _: mmhmm...sure_

Rin blows out an angry breath.  He is not in the mood for Haru’s sass.  He is not in the mood for anything today.  If Rin could, he would go back to his apartment, crawl into bed, and hide until next Friday when Dr. Toriyama clears him to swim again.

 **_Rin_ ** _: I know this is a shocker but I care about how you are doing too asshole_  
**_Rin_ ** _: I saw your fight.  I was there.  And I’m worried about both of you_  
**_Rin_ ** _: Neither of you are talking to each other like you should_ _  
_ **_Haru_ ** : _are you done yet?_

Rin tosses his phone down on the ground and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.  It garners a concerned look from both Sousuke and Makoto.  Sousuke raises an eyebrow at him and asks, “You okay over there?”

“Talking to Gou,” Rin mutters, conveniently leaving out the part where Haru butted into the conversation.  

Makoto wouldn’t be very happy with Rin if he knew how Rin was meddling.  Rin knows he shouldn’t have asked anything about Haru at all. This whole situation between Makoto and Haru is confusing enough without Rin trying to get involved.

“Tell Gou hi for me,” Sousuke says with a smirk.  He points at the phone laying at Rin’s feet, “No really, tell her hi.”

“Are your fingers and phone broken?  Have you suddenly lost the ability to text?” Rin grits out.  He doesn’t want to talk to his sister anymore, and he definitely doesn’t want to talk to that stubborn, hard headed, mackerel and water obsessed idiot either.

Sousuke pulls his own phone out of his pocket and types out something with his thumbs, then waits for a reply.  The phone chimes back almost immediately, and whatever it says, it makes Sousuke smile.  Rin’s phone chimes shortly after.  Rin begrudgingly picks it up because his curiosity is killing him.

 **_Gou_ ** _: haruka left for class_ _  
_ **_Gou_ ** _: sousuke is right youre being an idiot_

“That is not saying hi, you traitor,” Rin complains as he hurls a slice of pickled radish right at Sousuke’s head.

Sousuke catches it mid-air before it can hit him, and tosses it in his mouth as he gives Rin an unapologetic shrug.  Rin doesn’t have time to chew Sousuke out before his phone chimes again. He picks it up, because it’s Gou, and he loves Gou, even when she is being annoying because she will always be his precious little sister.

 **_Gou_ ** _: hey would you be up for meeting me for dinner tonight?_

No.  The thought triggers Rin to long for his quiet apartment and warm bed again.  He is already practically guaranteed a lecture from Coach Oda, and Rin will have to watch the entire team train without him, so going out and being social is the very last thing Rin wants to do.  Before Rin can tell Gou that, she sends another text.

 **_Gou_ ** _: please?  I have something important to talk to you about_

Rin is still firmly set on no until Gou sends one last text.

 **_Gou_ ** _: I will spill all the dirt I know about haruka_

Dammit.

 **_Rin_ ** _: Fine.  Where are we going?_  
**_Gou_ ** _: I really like that place makoto took me to by your university when I first got to tokyo_  
**_Rin_ ** _:  The athlete’s diner?_  
**_Gou_ ** _: yep!  let’s go there after you finish practice_ _  
_ **_Rin_ ** : _Fine whatever_

 

* * *

 

 The trainer who let Makoto borrow crutches apparently leaked the secret of Rin’s injury to Coach Oda.  Rin is slowly making his way to the Aquatics Center when he sees his coach standing outside, arms crossed and his mouth a straight line of disapproval.  Rin lowers his head, shame washing over him.  How could he be such an idiot?  Why wasn't he more careful?  There are several of Rin’s teammates who linger, almost like they want to witness the inevitable confrontation, that is until the coach aims his unpleasant stare at them, and then they hurry inside, leaving Rin and his coach alone.

“So you stepped on a broken clock?” Oda asks Rin.  His voice is level, and what he says isn’t so much a question, but rather looking for confirmation.

“Yes,” Rin croaks out.  Rin’s mouth is dry, and his nerves are bundled up tightly in a ball of frustrated emotion.  Rin has no idea how he let such a stupid thing to happen.

“A clock?”  And this time, it is a question, and it is punctuated like an amused question.  Rin looks up to see his coach cocking his head to one side, eyes wide, trying very hard to seem stern, but Rin sees that twinkle in Oda’s eyes.  He also sees the slight shake of his coach’s shoulders.

“Coach,” Rin sighs before asking, “Are you laughing?”

Oda starts actually quietly chuckling, his mouth a wide grin now.  He just looks Rin straight in the eye and says, “Absolutely not, Matsuoka.”

Rin grins sheepishly, “Well, Coach, I’ve been gone from Japan for quite awhile, but I’m pretty sure you’re laughing at me.”

“Well, I can laugh or I can yell.  Accidents happen, Matsuoka.  I’m just glad you didn’t slice your entire foot open.  How long are you on rest?” Oda asks, face suddenly more serious.

“A week, sir,” Rin answers, and the ball of nerves is back in his stomach again.  “I can still do upper body strength and cardio conditioning as long as I’m careful not to put any pressure on my foot.  I can help run the timing boards in practice, so I’m still useful.”

Coach Oda puts an arm on Rin’s shoulder and shakes his head.  “No, I’ve got a better idea.  How about you help me whip Tachibana and Yamazaki into shape.  What you’ve done with them so far is great.  I know your expertise played a big part in their recent improvement.”

Rin gives his coach a small smile, glad that Oda sees the effort he has put in, but it isn’t completely true.  “Sir, Sousuke and Makoto did just as much coaching me, and each other, as I did them.”

Oda winks and pats Rin on the back twice.  “That’s why the three of you are a good team.  I’m putting you in charge of keeping them on task for the next week.  I’m going to send Mikoshiba your way too.  I approved your request for the freestyle 4 x 200m relay, so the four of you better start practicing.”

Rin stands in stunned silence for a moment, before a wide grin spreads across his face.  A relay?  A relay with Makoto, Sousuke, and Seijuro?  This news is amazing, and Rin can't wait to tell the others.  Coach Oda mirrors Rin’s expression, giving him an approving nod.  And with that, Oda holds the door open for Rin so the two of them can go inside.  

Coach Oda calls five minutes as soon as they are in the main pool area.  Rin dumps his bag in the locker room, and then returns to the pool, careful with his crutches on the wet floor.  It wouldn’t do to hurt himself further just because he was careless twice on the same day.

There are still people milling around the announcement board, and Rin realizes he forgot that some of the results and race assignments are probably posted.  An assistant coach gives Rin’s teammates, who are not already lined up for warmups, a rare one-minute warning and the group scatters.  No one wants to lose an already determined position or risk losing an undecided one.  Rin will have to check it later after practice finishes.

Sousuke and Makoto are lined up near the starting blocks waiting for a whistle.  Sousuke glances over at Rin, gives him a knowing smile, and points at Makoto and then himself, followed by a thumbs up.  Sousuke must have heard about the relay.  Rin flashes him a toothy grin and the coaches blow a whistle to start the first warm-up drills.  Rin watches as Sousuke and Makoto leap into the pool, slicing cleanly into the water.  He is so damn proud of them.  

After warm-ups are done, coaches break the team off into one large group and three smaller ones.  Makoto, Seijuro, and Sousuke walk over to where Rin is waiting, going through the stats on their times.

“So we got ourselves a relay,” Sousuke says as he punches Rin playfully in the shoulder.  

Rin can’t help himself, his eyes mist just a little as he nods to his teammates.  This feeling that swells in Rin’s heart is his elementary school relay with Makoto, Haru, and Nagisa.  It is also swimming with them in that idiotic, wonderful race during regionals when they were all disqualified.  But it is also swimming in regionals the following year with Sousuke, Nitori, and Momo.  Now it is Rin, Makoto, Sousuke, and Seijuro--and they are a team to be reckoned with.

Seijuro is the first to push them towards the actual business of the relay.  “Our first meet is only a few weeks off.  We need to discuss who is handing off to who.”  Seijuro looks Rin over, and there is a worried hesitation in his gaze.  “When is the last time you did a relay, Rin?”

Quite some time ago, Rin thinks, but answers, “Regionals during my third year of high school. I took the final leg.”

Seijuro hums to himself, his fingers rubbing his chin while he thinks.  “Well, I don’t like the idea of putting you at the end right now.  You’re too much of an unknown variable with that injury.  In fact, I want to know right away if we need to make up time because of it.  Do you feel comfortable taking the first leg?”

Rin really wants to be the one to close the race, but he understands, because it is a sound logic.  Still, Rin can’t help the disappointment that weighs him down as he nods in agreement.  Rin loves the feeling of winning a race for his relay team.  Rin wants to be the person who cheers everyone on and then leads them to victory.  Kind of like he is saying thank you for doing the relay with him.  However, Rin knows he is in no position to do anything of the sort at the moment.  Seijuro is right, his performance would be too unpredictable right now.

The four of them are off in a corner of the pool room, where no one else is watching, but it still surprises Rin when a warm hand is laid on the small on his back, fingers gently massaging to relax him.  Rin glances to his right and finds Makoto very intent on listening to the group's conversation, but his hand is firmly situated on Rin’s back.  It is sneaky.  Rin knows no one else is really watching, and even if they were, it isn’t unusual for teammates to casually touch each other like that.  It is just unusual for _Makoto_ to casually touch someone like that.  This is probably why the tips of Makoto’s ears are turning red.

“Well, Mikoshiba, you better take the last leg then,” Sousuke says, startling Rin out of his little moment with Makoto.  “I don’t think it's a good place for myself since I’m still getting back into the swing of things, and Makoto is having some issues with pacing.”  

Sousuke gives Makoto an apologetic look for disqualifying him, but Makoto just nods.  “I agree.  I think that Sousuke should take the second leg, and I should take the third.  Sousuke and Rin have handed off to each other before, so they likely have a good feeling for each other’s timing.  Sousuke and I can practice ours before the first meet, and we can practice too, Sei.”

Seijuro nods enthusiastically and punctuates it with one of his humongous grins.  “I like the sound of that.  Saturdays are usually the big relay practice days, so tomorrow we are focusing only on this event.  Makoto and Sousuke, you guys will have to put aside your individual events until Monday.”

Rin glances up at Makoto, then at Sousuke, and then to Mikoshiba.  Rin’s confusion must have been obvious because Mikoshiba lets out a loud bark of a laugh.  “You didn’t see the roster, huh?” Seijuro hooks a thumb at Sousuke and Makoto and continues, “These two are going to be busy.  Two events each plus the relay.  Coach might toss Yamazaki in a second butterfly event too, it depends where he slots me, honestly.”

Rin forgets his foot temporarily and does a little jump to cuff Sousuke on the shoulder.  The pain of putting weight on his injury makes Rin freeze.  He sighs and repositions the crutches under his arms so he can’t try that little maneuver again.  “You are kidding me?  What are you guys slotted for?”

Makoto blushes hotly as he counts his events off on his fingers, “I’m doing the one-hundred meter back and the two-hundred meter free.  Basically, what I did in the time trials.”

Sousuke, never one to enjoy being fussed over, scratches the back of his neck.  The only thing that belies his happiness is the small grin on his lips.  “I’m slotted for the one-hundred meter fly, and the four-hundred meter free.”

“The four-hundred meter?  Are you kidding me?  You haven’t done that since elementary,” Rin says.  He can never remember Sousuke enjoying longer races.

“That, the one-hundred fly, and the two-hundred fly were actually my specialties when I was with my high school team in Tokyo.  You know I’m good at pacing myself, so the four-hundred meter free is a solid fit for me,” Sousuke casually replies.  

Rin can’t believe there is something he doesn’t know about Sousuke.  After the secret of Sousuke's shoulder came out, Rin hounded him for the truth about a lot of things.

“You never told me about it,” Rin mutters, and yeah, he knows he sounds a little hurt.  

“I would have done it at Samezuka too, but with my shoulder the way it was, there was no way I could manage a distance like that.  Besides, I just didn’t think to tell you.  You know I don’t like talking about Tokyo,” Sousuke explains, and his last words come out sounding irritated.  Not necessarily at Rin, more likely at himself, because Sousuke really did hate talking about his first two years of high school--too much glory, too much disappointment, too much pain.

Seijuro, being the type of person who doesn’t like to waste time, steps in.  “Matsuoka, you’re going to watch us practice handoff's and critique until coach calls the team together.  Let’s get in a few before then.”  

Seijuro pulls one of the movable benches closer to the side of the pool, next to lane one, for Rin to sit on, and then Seijuro and the other two gather by the starting blocks.  Rin watches his three teammates learn each other’s timing.  Makoto adjusts to Sousuke and Seijuro almost immediately, so his position as the third leg is actually very fitting.  

Sousuke has to pretend Rin is coming in, but he just shrugs at Rin.  “I know your timing pretty well.  It’s just weird that you’ll start before me instead of following me.”

Rin nods in agreement, “That’s okay, I’ll get us a good lead going, and you can widen the gap.  It might be nice to see you flying overhead for once.  Besides, I have the strongest freestyle start off the blocks out of all of us, first leg will be good for me.”  Mikoshiba raises an eyebrow at Rin.  Seijuro obviously thinks he has a stronger start.  “You know I’m right.  You have a more efficient stroke, but you can’t outdo me in starts and turns, Sei.”

As if in reply, Seijuro steps up onto the starting block and dives into the water, and it is perfect and beautiful.  The epitome of starts.  However, Rin still knows his is better.

Makoto laughs behind his hand, obviously amused by Seijuro’s and Rin’s antics.  Even Sousuke is chuckling as Seijuro pulls himself back up onto the edge of the pool.  “Well,” Seijuro says, “If you can’t prove it, it isn’t true.  So for now, I get that title, thank you.  Get better and prove me wrong, Matsuoka.”

Rin plans to do exactly that.

 

* * *

 

 When practice is over Rin tells Sousuke and Makoto that he will be home later, and knowing Gou, it is going to be _much_ later.  Gou and Rin are the kind of siblings who can talk a lot when the two of them get going, and even though Rin had been hesitant to meet up with her earlier, at some point during the day it changed to him looking forward to their night out.  

Rin graciously gave Gou the space she requested when she initially moved to Tokyo, and therefore, this is the first time in months the two of them have spent any significant amount of time together.  Honestly, there has been pretty much radio silence between the two of them other than Rin requesting that Gou keep an eye on Haru, and their little squabble this morning.  

On the way out, Rin stops and checks over the roster list.  He sees that Sousuke is indeed slotted for the 100m butterfly and the 400m free.  Makoto is slotted for the 100m backstroke and the 200m free.  He is so happy for Makoto.  Makoto isn’t just good enough for one event, he is good enough for three.  It is the kind of validation that Rin knows Makoto needs.  Sure, Sousuke and Rin believe in him, but this shows that Coach Oda and the rest of the coaching staff also believe in Makoto.

As an afterthought, Rin searches for his own name.  He only finds it under the freestyle 4 x 200m relay.  And though it shouldn’t disturb Rin, because there are several open positions in the races he specializes in, it makes his breath catch, worry gathering in his chest again.

“Stop fretting, Matsuoka,” Rin hears his coach say from behind him.  “I’m leaving the hundred meter fly and free race slots open until I know how your foot is faring.  They’re yours if you heal.”

Rin bites his lip because this feels like...Australia again.  All the way back in middle school, when he was struggling, his coach held the final butterfly spot until the last moment hoping Rin would put up the necessary times, but then had to give it to another teammate when Rin underperformed.  Rin’s Australian coach always had his back, from the moment he arrived in Australia, and also when Rin returned for his first year of college, until the day he left and flew back to Japan.  Hell, Rin’s Australian coach still had his back and had already sent Rin a couple of emails asking how he was adjusting.  Rin did not want to tell him about the whole foot debacle.  

“Thanks, Coach,” Rin tells Coach Oda weakly.  

Oda’s eyebrows draw slowly into a worried expression, “You have to keep a positive mind about yourself, Matsuoka.  Don’t let your demons drag you down.  I know your history.  I know you’ve let them get to you before.  Fight them.  Fight that,” Oda says as he gestures to Rin’s foot.

“Yes, Coach,” Rin tells him, trying to muster a more positive attitude because his coach is right.  

“Also, I’m supposed to let you know that there is a pretty redheaded girl sitting by the coaching office talking my coaching team’s ear off, and by the looks of her, she is related to you.”

“Goddammit, Gou,” Rin mutters as he heads toward the coaching office, waving goodbye to his head coach as he goes.  

Sure enough, Gou is sitting next to Coach Koizumi, a well-built backstroke specialist.  Gou smiles and gestures at him as she asks about what training regiment Koizumi uses to keep himself so in shape.  She is shameless, Rin thinks as he limps over to her.  It is probably good that Rin knows her well enough to realize she legitimately wants to learn about the workout regiment.  The fact that Coach Koizumi has muscles on top of muscles is just an added bonus to her.

“Hey,” Rin says, interrupting Gou’s conversation.  “Stop bothering my coaches.”

Coach Koizumi, a rather young coach, a man barely out of college, glances up at Rin, and Rin realizes that Koizumi was actually enjoying Gou’s company.  Too much, in fact.  

“We have dinner to get, sis,” Rin says, his eyes staying on his coach more than Gou, obviously trying to shame the older man for flirting with his little sister.  Rin realizes that Coach Oda probably told Rin where Gou was for just this reason.

Gou politely excuses herself from the conversation and walks over to Rin.  “Big brother,” she says as she leans in to give Rin a hug, and also a pointy fist to the stomach, “I’ve missed you.  It’s really good to see you.  How have you been doing?”  Each sentence is punctuated by another small, unnoticeable to anyone other than Rin, punch to Rin’s abdomen.  

Rin leans into the hug and whispers in Gou’s ear, “Really Gou?  Really?”

“You are worried for nothing,” Gou whispers back, “Trust me.”

“Alright, you’re right, we should get going,” Rin says loud enough that everyone near the little office hears.  Gou rolls her eyes.  She is obviously done with Rin playing the protective older brother, and yeah, he really should back it off, but it is _Gou._ Rin has to be the annoying surrogate male family member, especially since he knows their dad would have done the same thing, right?

Gou grabs her school bag from the spot near where she had been sitting and follows Rin outside.  She is unusually quiet and keeps looking down at Rin’s injured foot.  

“Stop, it’ll be fine,” Rin tells her, annoyed because he knows that she is going to go into a spiel about taking care of himself at any moment.  It surprises Rin when she just shrugs at him and stays quiet.

Even with Rin on crutches, it doesn’t take long to get to the little diner that is just a block or so off campus.  Gou holds the door for Rin, letting him maneuver inside.  It is busy, and several of Rin’s teammates are eating there.  One of them stops Rin and asks about how exactly he hurt himself, and if coach Oda chewed his ass when the two of them were outside earlier.  Rin, protective of his coach’s fake hardass act, answers with a vague, “Yeah, a little, I guess.”

Gou selects one of the booths near the far window, one of a few booths with tall backs.  Rin likes those booths because of the relative privacy they afford.  Rin doesn’t mind his teammates, but he really isn’t down for them overhearing Gou dishing out the dirt on Haru, one of their toughest competitors.  

Rin fumbles his way past a waitress and sidesteps awkwardly with the crutches until he reaches Gou.  Rin freezes as he looks into the booth and notices Gou isn’t alone.  Sitting next to her is Haru.  How in the hell is Gou supposed to tell Rin all that is going on with Haru if Haru is there?  How annoying.  Well, at least Rin can probably do a little intel gathering of his own.  He sighs and slides into the opposite side of the booth.

Rin situates himself, and Gou grabs the crutches and places them back against the wall near their booth.  She returns, and it occurs to Rin as Gou settles herself on her side of the booth, that she and Haru are sitting rather...close to one another.  

These booths can fit Sousuke and Makoto together side by side, so there is really no reason for her to be that much into Haru’s personal space.  Besides, didn’t Haru dislike that kind of thing?  Rin supposes Gou isn’t exactly touching Haru, there is a buffer of an inch or so between them, but it still seems weird all the same.

Haru clears his throat, and Rin looks up to see a slightly worried look on Haru’s face.  Haru’s brows are drawn together.  “You said it was no big deal.  It kind of looks like a big deal.”

Rin realizes Haru is referring to his foot injury, the nosy bastard.  “I’m fine, Haru.  Nothing a little rest won’t fix.”

Haru hums, a sound that clearly says Haru doesn’t necessarily agree with Rin’s assessment of the injury.  Rin allows himself a single, annoyed “Tch,” before relaxing and grabbing a menu.  “Please tell me you aren’t going to order the grilled mackerel.”

Haru shrugs, also looking over a menu, and says, “Makoto told me it was good here.  They have a wood grill, right?”

Rin rolls his eyes, knowing he is going to smell that damn fishy mackerel odor for the entire meal.  “Well, I’m getting a steak.”

“Perhaps you should go lighter since you’re burning fewer calories for the next week or so,” Haru responds casually.  It gets under Rin’s skin; firstly, because Haru is probably right, and secondly, because Haru being right annoys Rin.

“I’m getting a steak,” Rin says again, trying his best not to get too pissy since Haru tends to shut down in the face of Rin’s anger.  How would he get any information out of Haru then?  Obviously, he wouldn’t.

Gou stifles a small giggle behind her hand, and then glances at her own menu.  She turns to Haru and tells him, “Haruka, I’m going to get a steak, too.”  Gou isn’t exactly a dainty eater.  She likes meat just as much as Rin does.

Haru doesn’t turn completely toward her, but he rotates and looks at her menu, where Gou is pointing at the option she wants to order.  “Yeah, sure,” he tells her softly, “Go ahead and get whatever you would like.”

Rin just stops, somewhat confused, and pretty weirded out, and watches this exchange between his sister and his swimming rival/friend.  What exactly is he witnessing?  Whatever it is, it makes Rin uncomfortable, and he takes it upon himself to start a conversation on some other topic.

“So Makoto told me that you and he are going to sit down and talk about things,” Rin says casually.  Gou shoots him an annoyed look and Rin feels a little guilty for being so blunt.  Rin isn’t exactly known for his tact, but honestly, beating around the bush with Haru isn’t a productive use of time.

Rin doesn't miss the way Haru’s jaw tightens, “Yes, we decided to do that,” Haru says coolly, not looking up from his menu, which Haru is still perusing despite having decided on his usual, stinky mackerel.

“I just want you to know that he fought it every step of the way, and if Sousuke and I hadn’t kept bugging him about it, he probably wouldn’t have done it,” Rin adds.

Rin knows if Haru had nagged Makoto about swimming like Sousuke and Rin had, then Makoto might have caved under that pressure too.  However, Haru doesn’t tend to push Makoto in that way.  Haru is almost always gentle with his best friend, despite some moments when the two of them didn’t see eye to eye.  Haru isn’t the type of person to demand Makoto do something he is uncomfortable with, nor is Makoto that way with Haru.  It is probably why Haru and Makoto had so many problems figuring out their futures, and how their futures relate to each other’s futures.

Haru stays quiet for a long time.  Rin almost apologizes because there is something genuinely sad in Haru’s expression.  “I’m glad the two of you convinced him to do it,” Haru tells Rin faintly, and there is so much regret in the way Haru says it.

Rin is absolutely not tearing up at this.  He is not.  God, Rin knows he is a sap, he knows he can be overly emotional, but the way his eyes are misting up at Haru’s words is just ridiculous.  Rin needs a distraction.

“You know the best part?  Of course you don’t, _I_ just found out about the best part,” Rin is practically bouncing in his seat when he leans in toward Haru.  “If you are competing in the two-hundred meter free again this year, then you’ll get to swim with Makoto.   _Really_ swim with him, because Coach slotted him in that event.”

Haru’s eyes open wide, showing his interest, his mouth gaping a little.  It reminds Rin how Haru looked back in high school whenever Makoto baited Haru with pools and/or mackerel to get him to do something.  It is a look that clearly marks Haru’s desire for something.  Haru is silent for a long time, but Rin notices a small smile on Haru’s lips, and the softness in his eyes, as Haru contemplates what swimming with Makoto means.

Gou is also grinning.  She places a hand atop Haru’s forearm.  It is a careful, measured gesture, but Rin is still kind of shocked when Haru doesn’t pull away or flinch.  “See.  I told you.  This is a good thing, right?” she asks him.

Haru responds with a slow nod and goes back to looking at his menu.  Gou gently releases Haru’s arm and gives him space once again.  

The waitress finally comes over to their table and apologizes for the long wait.  It isn’t unexpected, the diner is packed with people tonight.  Haru orders some edamame as an appetizer for everyone, which Rin feels is nice of him to do.  Rin and Gou get their steaks and a couple of sides, and Haru gets the grilled mackerel and a side of grilled pineapple.  Rin rolls his eyes so hard at what Haru’s orders that the waitress asks if he is okay.

“He’s fine,” Gou says to the young woman writing down their food order, “He’s just being an asshole.”

Rin shoots his sister a dirty look.  Usually she speaks politely to strangers, even when it concerns him.  Still, the way Haru smirks at Gou’s burn is actually kind of nice.  It takes a lot to make Haru happy like that.

The waitress leaves and Gou fidgets with a bracelet on her wrist.  “I’ll be right back,” she tells them.  “I need to use the restroom.”

Gou scoots out of the booth and heads to the ladies room.  Gou is oblivious as several guys turn and check her out as she goes, but Rin isn’t.  The guys watch the petite redhead, and then whisper stuff and smirk and laugh with each other.  Rin can definitely see some goading their friends, trying to encourage them to talk to her, pointing at the bathroom door Gou disappeared behind.  Some of them are Rin's teammates, some are strangers, and all of them irritate Rin.  The funny thing is, when Rin finally turns his attention back to Haru, Haru looks annoyed too.

“So how is training going for you?” Rin asks, trying to distract Haru with an actual conversation.  The two of them haven’t sat and talked one-on-one in quite awhile, probably not since Rome.

“It’s going pretty well.  My coach wants me in at least one new event this year, and he’d prefer it if I pick it up in my second stroke,” Haru says, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.  

Rin raises an eyebrow at that.  “You have a second stroke?” he asks Haru.

Haru nods and doesn’t seem to understand the miracle Rin is witnessing.  Rin never expected to see the day when Haru swam anything other than free.  

“I’m not very comfortable with it yet, but my coach thinks it is worth pursuing.”

Rin bites his lip as he feels the familiar flutter he gets when he and Haru get competitive.  It isn’t anything like the romantic flutter than happens around Makoto, or even … Rin lets that thought die right there.  The thing with Makoto is complicated enough without adding Sousuke into the equation.  

Rin brings his focus back to Haru.  “Please tell me it’s butterfly.”

It almost breaks Rin’s heart when Haru shakes his head.  “Breast.”

“Breast?” Rin parrots back at his friend, but with more disappointment and a lot whinier.  

“Blame Nagisa.  When my coach said I had to at least attempt a second stroke, Nagisa let me know that I’d probably be good at breast and helped me.  He’s not a bad teacher.  That year as captain of Iwatobi’s swim team was good for him.”

With Haru’s particular body type, breast probably was the best second stroke for him, Rin muses.  Haru wasn’t explosive in his legs, and though he wasn’t necessarily short, he was shorter than most swimmers.  Haru definitely didn’t have the length for fly, and back probably wasn’t a good fit either.

“So Nagisa helped?  Where is he at now?  I haven’t talked to him since my birthday and he was still undecided on a college then.”  

Haru shrugs.  “He’s still undecided.  He is working in Toshima at the Sunshine Aquarium while he figures out what he wants to do.  I’m not sure he will leave.  He really loves it there,” Haru says, sounding disinterested, but there is a fond look in his eyes as he explains Nagisa’s current circumstances.  

“Well it was one of the many, many things he mentioned wanting to do as a job, so if he likes it, and he doesn’t need a degree to work there, then it might a good fit.”  Rin stops and pauses for a moment before adding, “How in the heck did he get a job there?  Aren’t those positions really hard to get?”

Haru shrugs, “Midori had a connection.”

Oh yes, Haru’s evil girlfriend.  Okay, Rin concedes in his head, she isn’t evil, just awful.

“Your girlfriend had a connection with the aquarium?”

Haru pauses, and then, with a completely straight face, tells Rin, “My girlfriend is in the bathroom.  Midori is the person with a connection at the aquarium.”

“That’s what I said, Midori …” and it dawns on Rin what Haru had _actually_ said.   _My girlfriend is in the bathroom_.  

Rin glances over at the bathroom, the one that Gou just happens to be walking out of, and then turns back to Haru.   _My girlfriend is in the bathroom.  Midori is the person with a connection at the aquarium._ It just wasn’t computing.  It didn’t add up.

“Hey, sorry it took so long, there was a line,” Gou says as she scoots back into the booth next to Haru again.  She glances over at Rin and undoubtedly notices the deep look of consternation written all over his face.  Gou doesn’t even say a word to Rin, but instead turns to Haru and asks, “Haruka, what happened?”

“I might have accidentally told him,” Haru explains to her, and at least he has the decency to look a little guilty.

Rin’s face is warm and flushed with anger.  He probably shouldn’t be upset, but he is, because it is Gou, and it is Haru, and Midori isn’t Haru’s girlfriend anymore, but Gou probably is.  If Rin put all the pieces of this puzzle together correctly, and he thinks he probably did, that means Gou is dating Haru.

In an attempt to calm down, Rin inhales a deep breath through his nose, lets it out through his mouth.  He knows it upsets Gou when he gets agitated.

He turns his attention to his sister and as calmly as he can, which isn't really calm at all, says “Please explain, Gou.”

It isn’t a question, it is closer to an order, an order that Rin expresses in an unapproving brotherly tone that Gou hates.  It is probably why she stops panicking and glares at Rin.

“I don’t have to answer that, Rin.  It isn’t like there is much to explain.  Haruka and I have been dating, and I kind of wanted to thank you for it, since you were the catalyst, but right now there are a few things I’d much rather say to you than thank you,” she tells Rin in an even, unamused tone.

There is something about the scolding that makes Rin shrink back in his seat.  He crosses his arms defiantly and ignores his sister.  Rin isn’t pouting.  He isn’t.

The three of them spend the next few minutes sitting in tense silence until a random guy, not one of Rin’s teammates, approaches Gou and quickly spits out, “Hi, my name is Nishida Ichiro, and I was wondering if I… you … uh, we could exchange numbers?”

Rin and Gou both turn towards him, so similarly to each other that it makes Haru actually huff an amused snort, and they loudly inform the guy that, “She already has a boyfriend,” and “I already have a boyfriend,” at the same time.

The guy just puts his hands up defensively in front of his chest and manages to muddle out, “I’m so sorry to have disturbed you,” before hurrying away.

Rin has no desire to make conversation with Gou, nor with Haru anymore, so when the food comes, he just tears into it, stuffing his face.  He kind of hates that this amazing steak tastes like sawdust thanks to the two idiots sitting across from him.  Chewing it is a chore, and swallowing is even more difficult.  Rin just wants to go home and sleep the rest of this crappy, crappy day away.

“It isn’t the end of the world, you know,” Gou mutters before taking an equally unenthused bite of her own steak.  “Haruka is a good boyfriend.”

“It’s weird,” Rin mumbles and shoves another bite of steak into his mouth.

Gou seems to take offense to that assessment of her relationship, so she asks, “What exactly is so weird about it?”

Better question, Rin thinks, what _isn’t_ weird about it?  

“First off, you’re my sister, and he’s my friend,” and then Rin sighs and gets to the truth of it, “And it’s weird, because it’s like Haru is dating some version of me, and no offense, Haru, I’m not into you like that.  Does that make sense to you guys?”

Gou presses her lips together and furrows her brows until her entire face is an ugly scowl.  She takes a breath, then lets out the breath, much like Rin did earlier, and pretty quickly Rin figures out how badly he fucked up.

“Big brother, not to be rude, but could you please pull your head out of your own ass?” Rin splutters as Gou asks this, but she doesn’t stop her lecture there.  “Not everything is about you.  It just isn’t.  Haruka is my friend too, but we realized that we liked each other as more than friends, and there is nothing wrong with that.  So if you could please dial back your humongous ego for just a minute or two, maybe you would see that we are actually a pretty good match for each other, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.”

The waitress comes over and drops off the check.  Rin digs in his pocket for his wallet, but Haru takes the receipt and promptly pays for everything.  Rin should have probably said thank you, but what comes out of his mouth is a gruff sounding, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Gou gets out of the booth, and stands to wait for Haru to join her.  Haru looks a little torn.  Obviously being put in the middle of Rin and Gou’s sibling squabble isn’t something he enjoys, but he gets up and joins his _girlfriend_.

“Grow up,” Gou tells Rin as she and Haru leave.  

Rin doesn’t have a single response to her criticism.  He might even agree.

 

* * *

 

 Rin sits and mopes in the restaurant for a few minutes, finishing up his steak and the edamame Haru ordered.   _No need for good food to go to waste just because I’m a selfish moron_ , Rin tells himself.  

The thing is, after Gou storms out, and the initial shock wears off, Rin realizes Gou is probably right.  Haru has always treated Gou kindly.  When she went through that spell her first year of high school where she tried to shrug off her masculine-sounding name, Haru had respectfully called her Kou without fail.  The entirety of the time the two of them were in high school together, Haru had always trusted Gou’s judgment as a friend and a manager, even when he shrugged off any help Rin tried to provide.  

Looking at it through the filter of time, Rin realizes Haru might have liked Gou for longer than the few weeks they had been attending college together.  And Gou … Rin never really knew where Gou’s feelings were when it came to guys.  He doesn’t remember her mentioning anything other than a few group dates during her third year of high school.  Gou has never had a serious boyfriend, at least not one his mother, Gou, or anyone at Iwatobi told him about.

And really, it isn’t his business anyway.  Rin kicks himself for not noticing how the two of them were happy at first, rather than, like always, making it about himself.  Rin sighs.  He truly is a shitty big brother.  He takes his phone out of his pocket and hesitates for only a moment before typing out a message.

 **_Rin_ ** _: I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now_  
**_Rin_ ** _: but I need you to know that I’m sorry_  
**_Rin_ ** _: you were right.  I’m an asshole_  
**_Rin_ ** _: this thing isn’t about me._  
**_Rin_ ** _: and I’d much rather have Haru dating you than that Midori chick_ _  
_ **_Rin_ ** : _...I think_

Rin shoves the phone into his pocket, gets out of the booth, and hops over to his crutches, which are still leaning against the wall.  He waves at the waitress, the one he always seems to have, the one who has seen every bad side of Rin and his friends.  “Have a good day,” he tells her.

She gives him a consoling smile and says, “Please come back soon.”  She says it so nicely that Rin believes her, and he in no way deserves such a kind sentiment.

Rin pushes his way out of the restaurant, and he is dismayed to find it raining.  Of course it is raining.  This is the kind of day where nothing goes right, so rain it is.  And worse, it is rain on crutches after his particular neighborhood bus service had stopped for the night.  Rin has a mini umbrella in his bag, but how in the heck is he supposed to hold it and use the crutches at the same time?  His foot already aches at just the thought of the trek home.  Not to mention, the sandals he is wearing are not helping keep rainwater from soaking through his bandage.  

Rin sighs and resigns himself to trudging all the way home.  The rain picks up halfway there, and puddles start to form, forcing Rin to carefully avoid them.  Rin shivers, because his warm spring day is now wet and chilly.  At one point, while crossing the street close to the apartment complex, a car ignores the crosswalk signal and splashes Rin head to toe with dirty water that had been rushing down the side of the street.  

Well, Rin thinks, he probably deserves that.  It is obviously karma biting him in the ass for being a selfish prick.

The metal stairs up to the third-floor apartments are slick, and Rin is forced to lean on his injured foot at least a little to make it up them safely.  He is so weary and wet when he reaches his apartment door, that Rin almost considers knocking until Sousuke comes to the door and drags his sorry body inside.  

Instead, Rin fishes his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door with a quiet click.  He pushes the door open and realizes the roar of the rain isn’t any quieter inside than it is outside.  The rain is pelting the window in the living room, causing a din of rhythmic sounds.  That is probably why Sousuke and Makoto don’t hear Rin.  

Rin’s first thought is, _well, I would have never imagined that chair could hold two huge guys like them comfortably_.  Rin’s body is numb from the rain, his mind is exhausted from his fight with Gou, and his heart aches as he watches Makoto and Sousuke kiss.

‘Kiss’ might be slightly misleading, because honestly, what the two of them are doing is about one step away from pornographic.  Makoto is on top, straddling Sousuke’s lap, and both of them look absolutely disheveled.  They have obviously been at this for awhile.  Makoto’s mouth is open wide as he licks at Sousuke’s lips and suckles Sousuke’s tongue.

Makoto has both of his hands tangled in Sousuke’s messy, black hair, and he uses them to grip and pull and control the rhythm of the kisses.  Sousuke moans and uses the arm he has wrapped around Makoto’s back to pull the other man closer against him.  Sousuke’s other hand is beneath Makoto’s t-shirt, rucking it up past Makoto’s navel.    

The worst thing might be the slow, sensual rocking--their bodies pressing together, and then apart, and then together again.  Rin notices how it causes Sousuke to groan and makes Makoto breathless.

Not this shit.  Not today.  Makoto and Sousuke being together might have been something Rin has fantasized about a little, and in theory, it doesn't bother Rin, but right now it bothers the hell out of him.  Rin knows he and Makoto never agreed to be exclusive.  In fact, if Rin is being honest, his sweet cuddle session the previous night might have been Makoto stepping out on Sousuke.  Maybe that is what Makoto wanted to talk about this morning.  

_“I’m sorry, Rin.  I’m already involved with somebody.  Last night was a mistake.”_

Rin can almost hear Makoto’s soft voice in his head, apologizing, definitively ending whatever the two of them had.

Rin shuffles outside, back into the cold, damp rainstorm.  He doesn’t mean to close the door loudly, but he just doesn’t care enough to close it carefully either, so it slips shut with a bang.  Rin begins to make his way toward the steps, his arms aching from using the crutches so much.  

Rin startles when the apartment door bursts open.  Sousuke steps out breathless and barefoot.  His gaze tracks over to Rin, and he looks unsure if he should approach.  Both Rin and Sousuke are silent, the only sound is the rain pounding the pavement below in the parking lot and on the roof above them.  The overhang that protects the balcony is dripping sheets of water just beyond where Rin stands.  Rin considers leaving, but it isn’t like he can outrun Sousuke while on crutches.

“Rin…” Sousuke says quietly, reaching out slowly with his hands as if Rin is an animal Sousuke doesn’t want to spook.  “Please, I can explain.”

“You don’t need to explain, Sou,” Rin says softly.  There isn’t enough fight in him left to be angry.

Rin notices that Makoto has joined Sousuke in the doorway of the apartment, one hand pressed against his mouth, the other arm wrapped protectively around his own chest.  He looks distraught, and Sousuke wears the same expression.

Rin just stares.  He doesn’t know what else to do at this point.  What does he say?  He doesn’t want to listen to either of them explain.  He doesn’t want to know why they were doing what they were doing.  

“Fuck, Rin, you’re soaked through, and the bandages on your foot are dirty,” Sousuke says as he seems to finally take in Rin’s appearance.  Sousuke steps forward and one of his hands finds purchase on Rin’s shoulder, “Come inside. Please.”

“I don’t think I want to … to be around you guys right now,” and those words cause the first crack in the dam holding back Rin’s emotions.  A tear spills over and down his cheek, and Rin hears himself make a soft, strangled cry.  It sounds pathetic.

Rin shrugs off Sousuke's hand and scrubs the palms of his hands into his eyes, trying to clear his vision.  Rin curses at himself and wonders why he is always such a crybaby.  He doesn’t want either Makoto or Sousuke to see him like this.

Sousuke stays silent, but he takes Rin’s hands and pulls them away from Rin’s face.  Rin doesn’t have the willpower to argue or push him away.  Then, Sousuke’s big, clunky fingers cup Rin’s jaw, and Sousuke uses his thumbs to wipe away as many tears as he can.  It makes Rin cry harder.

“I’m so sorry, Rin.  I never meant to hurt you like this. C’mon,” Sousuke says as he gently urges Rin toward the apartment.  Rin goes because he doesn't know what else to do.

Inside, Sousuke takes Rin’s bag and helps him out of his sandals.  Makoto dries off Rin’s crutches.  Wood floors, water, and crutches are a terrible combination.  Sousuke brings out a couple of towels from the bathroom and starts to gently pat Rin dry.  

“Want us to leave?” Sousuke asks, his voice quiet and pensive as he waits for Rin’s answer.

“Don’t care,” Rin says, even though, no, he doesn’t want them to leave anymore.  Rin is just so fucking tired.  He wants to crawl into bed and sleep for a thousand years, and the last thing he wants to do is deal with romance drama.  

Makoto is holding the gauze and bandages they got from the clinic earlier in the morning.  “Come over here and sit, Rin.  Let me help you clean your foot,” Makoto says, motioning to the large, plush chair.  These are the first words Makoto has spoken since Rin found him and Sousuke making out in that very same chair.  

Rin knows Makoto only wants to help, but Rin just glares at the chair.  It is the last thing Rin wants to sit in tonight.  He might never sit in it again.  Rin ignores Makoto’s request, and hobbles into the bedroom and takes off his wet clothes, dropping them in the hamper.  At least Makoto and Sousuke have the decency to give him privacy while he uses a towel to finish drying off.  Rin then fumbles his way into a pair of warm pajama pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt.  He should probably shower, but Rin doesn’t have the energy.  He flops onto his bed instead, his legs hanging off the edge, and his foot throbbing painfully.

“Can I come in?” Makoto asks, his voice hesitant and worried. He holds up the gauze for Rin to see.  Rin yields and waves him in.  

Makoto walks over to Rin, and Sousuke follows.  Sousuke has a bowl of water and a small cloth.  The two of them kneel in front of Rin.  Makoto cuts away the dirty bandages and lets Sousuke wash Rin’s foot clean.  None of them say a word.  Makoto applies an antiseptic to the wound, and when he seems satisfied, he presses clean gauze over the wound and tapes it in place.  The last step is winding clean bandages around the gauze.  Good as new.

Sousuke steps out, taking the bowl of water with him.  Makoto stays in the same place on the floor in front of Rin.  Rin pulls his feet into bed and tugs a blanket over himself, all the way up, so it covers his head too.  

“RinRin…” Makoto says, and it is the saddest Makoto has ever spoken his fond nickname for Rin.  “I was going to tell you.  I was going to explain…”

Rin cuts him off with a curt, “Please don’t.”  

Makoto immediately stops talking.  Rin wipes away more errant tears.

The silence that follows is long and heavy.  Sousuke returns and sits on the edge of his own bed.  Rin can see him through a crack in the blanket.  Sousuke looks confused and … well, if Rin put a word to it, it would probably be _heartbroken._

Makoto is still seated on the floor, his proximity to Rin, and his distance from Sousuke says something that words can’t.  Rin realizes his tears have finally stopped.  Small blessings, right?

“I’ve had a really shitty day,” Rin finally tells Makoto and Sousuke.  “Like a really, really shitty day.”

There is a ball of pain in Rin’s chest that hurts so damn much as he admits this to the two people who are supposed to be his closest friends.  Still, new tears don’t come, just a deep ache.  

If Rin is being honest, he isn’t going to fall asleep without trying to unwind the knots he, Sousuke, and Makoto, have tied themselves in.  Rin pulls back the blanket from his head and weighs the emotional toll which will likely be exacted if he pushes forward.  In the end, Rin decides it is a price worth paying.

Rin decides being frank is best.  “So now that you both know I’ve had a fucking shitty day, can one of you tell me what the hell is going on?”  

Neither Sousuke nor Makoto jump at the chance, despite both being eager to explain themselves earlier.  

Sousuke, who is still seated on the edge of his own bed--bent forward, elbows on his knees and head in his hands--is the first to speak.  He takes a deep breath and tells Rin, “I guess it all started when I fell in love with my best friend.”

Rin didn’t think that there was anything Sousuke could say that hurt worse than walking in on them, but Sousuke is _his_ best friend.  Rin didn’t even know Makoto and Sousuke had become friends until he was back in Japan, so when did the two of them find the time to become so close?  Did Sousuke really consider Makoto his best friend now?

“ _I’m_ your best friend,” Rin argues weakly.

It isn't fair, Sousuke doesn’t get to take everything away from Rin and give it to Makoto.  Sousuke doesn’t get to negate what the two of them have been through together.  Rin is fiercely protective of his relationship with Sousuke and has no problem being selfish enough to cling to the title of best friend.

Sousuke stays strangely calm, even as Rin begins to freak out.  He slowly stands and walks over to Rin, crouching next to the bed near Rin’s head.  He gently places a hand on Rin’s cheek.  There is nothing but sincere fondness in Sousuke’s words as he tells Rin, “I know.  You _are_ my best friend, and I’m in love with you.”

It’s funny how something you want so much can also be the thing that destroys you.


End file.
